Friendship in the Christmas Narrative

“He who walks with wise men shall be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” (Prov. 13:20)

O who will walk a mile with me
Along life’s merry way?
A comrade blithe and full of glee,
Who dares to laugh out loud and free
And let his frolic fancy play,
Like a happy child, through the flowers gay
That fill the field and fringe the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

And who will walk a mile with me
Along life’s weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o’er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end o’ the day—
A friend who knows, and dares to say,
The brave, sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

With such a comrade, such a friend,
I fain would walk till journey’s end,
Through summer sunshine, winter rain,
And then?—Farewell, we shall meet again!

–Henry van Dyke

As we walk through the season of Advent, ever closer to Christmas day and on toward Epiphany, my question for us this morning is simply, where do we see friendship in the overall Christmas narrative?

……

Zacharias and Elizabeth (were of old age, without children—shared grief and longing can breed friendship)

Elizabeth and Mary (similar situations often grow friendship, and we know Mary stayed with Elizabeth for three months during pregnancy)

Elizabeth’s neighbors and relatives rejoiced with her (rejoicing with others shows friendship or friendliness)

Mary and Joseph (betrothed, destined for marriage and life together—and if nothing else, they had shared experiences of angel visitation! I imagine their conversations together could have been awesome)

Shepherds who worked together in fields (work often builds friendship)

Wise men, magi, from the East (worked or studied together: again, common interests and communal work are solid ground for friendship building)

John and Jesus (cousins and comrades, both working toward the same Kingdom goals)

……

But where do we see the deepest friendship of all?

The deepest and truest embodiment of friendship is in Jesus Himself. And we don’t just see that in the Christmas narrative, but we live even today in the reality of that friendship.

In John chapter 15, Jesus tells us of His deep love for us—for those who abide in Him, and abide in His love. He wants our joy to be full. (What better description of friendship could there be than that? A desire that another’s joy would be full!) And then listen to what He says: “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:12-15)

Jesus calls His people—His disciples then, and all of us now who are called by His name—He calls us His FRIENDS.

He took on human flesh because He was sacrificing Himself for us. And when He says that the greatest love is to lay down your life for your friends—He is reminding us that it is friendship with Him that ought to be our deepest love, our biggest desire, our truest relationship. He laid down His heavenly glory to be clothed in flesh. He laid down His flesh to be slaughtered as the sacrifice to atone for our sins. He sent us His Spirit to be our Comforter. He promises to come back.

Jesus is the one who walks with us along life’s merry way, life’s weary way, all the way until journey’s end—and beyond. Because He is such a Friend, we can see other friendships in Advent, in the nativity, in the Word made flesh, in the magi’s journey, in the presentation at the temple, in the Gospel arising and being the light to the nations!

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!

Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness

Precious Savior, still our refuge

Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he’ll take and shield you;
you will find a solace there.

–Joseph Scriven (excerpts)

Indeed, we will find friendship there. We DO find friendship with Jesus. Those who are called by His name are called His friends, and He was born to lay down His life for us so that we can go and do likewise.

The Virtue of Friendship

Friendship needs no studied phrases,
Polished face, or winning wiles;
Friendship deals no lavish praises,
Friendship dons no surface smiles.

Friendship follows Nature’s diction,
Shuns the blandishments of art,
Boldly severs truth from fiction,
Speaks the language of the heart.

Friendship favors no condition,
Scorns a narrow-minded creed,
Lovingly fulfills its mission,
Be it word or be it deed.

Friendship cheers the faint and weary,
Makes the timid spirit brave,
Warns the erring, lights the dreary,
Smooths the passage to the grave.

Friendship–pure, unselfish friendship,
All through life’s allotted span,
Nurtures, strengthens, widens, lengthens,
Man’s relationship with man.

The ancients listed friendship among the highest of virtues. It was an essential element in the happy or fully flourishing life. “For without friends,” said Aristotle, “no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.” Words worth remembering in a world of perishable “goods,” and in a season when we can so easily put long lists together of more perishable goods we would like to unwrap on Christmas morning!

According to Aristotle, friendship either is, or it involves, a state of character: a virtue. There are three kinds of friendship argued for, with different bases: pleasure in another’s company (friendship of pleasure), usefulness in association (friendship of utility), or mutual admiration (friendships in virtue). All are essential to the good life, and the best sorts of friends will not only admire each other’s excellence, but take pleasure in each other’s company, and find their association of mutual advantage.

Steve Wilkins said in his wonderful book Face To Face that friends are not a luxury but a necessity. They are not optional but vital. God, in His mercy, does not save us in isolation from other people but rather in community with other people. If we are to be all that God commands us to be, we must realize that having godly relationships with friends is vital to the whole process.

Proverbs 18:1 says that “a man who isolates himself seeks his own desire, and rages against all wise judgment.” The isolated man does not realize what he is doing, but he is in grave danger. He needs friends! Why? To hold him accountable. To add to his joy. To spur him on to love and good works. For mutual sharpening of one another. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” Without godly friends, Scripture tells us we will spiral toward destruction. Godly friendship is absolute necessity because of how God created us (in His triune image, borne for community), the consequences of the fall, and the manner of God’s dispensing of His grace corporately.

All this talk about friendship of course reminds us of what a blessed thing it is to have a friend who sticks closer than a brother, our kinsman-redeemer, our truest holy Friend. Without Christ as our closest companion, we would be of all men to be most pitied. It is vitally important to have faithful companions for He is the One who is the ultimate companion and friend of His people. We need more Christians to live with one another in the manner of Christ: always with us, never leaving or forsaking, but rather causing us to grow in grace and faithfulness for the sake of God’s glory.

This is the kind of friend we need. This is the kind of friend we should seek to be. This is the kind of friendship we see all throughout the Christmas story during this season of Advent.

Have you ever thought about that? Have you seen friendship in the Advent narrative? The next post about friendship will be concentrating on seeing examples in that particular story arc. But as we ponder this throughout this current week, notice the friendliness or the friendships or the charity or the compassion… in short, notice the acts or words of one person toward another which shout: “now THAT is acting like a godly friend!” and be ready to ponder that anew with me next time.

Cranberries

I don’t know why, but I love the Cranberry books. Cranberry Christmas, Cranberry Thanksgiving, Cranberry Easter, we even have a Cranberry Halloween book while my family doesn’t really even “do” anything for Halloween. I just love the stories, the characters, the artwork.

But I also really love cranberries: they are just a delicious, pretty, little tangy fruit. Ha! I remember loving a particular cereal when I was a kid that had cranberries and walnuts in it. It felt like a very grownup thing to enjoy, and I thought it was super special when my mom would let me put a box in the cart when wandering the grocery aisles with her. (Have I mentioned that I am a second generation homeschooler? I did ALL the errands by my mom’s side, and sometimes we were even bold enough to run errands before 2pm… that was our kind of brazen rebellion back in the eighties and early nineties of California living.) My mom was big into country style shabby chic arts & crafts… and for a handful of years she partnered with a friend to do a Christmas market they called Cranberry Corner. I’m not sure I have ever asked her exactly why she chose that name. But I still remember it! And I remember the ambiance of that annual event, the pungent smell of cinnamon & a tart sweetness. Perhaps it was a cinnamon-cranberry candle burning in the back! My mom was also keenly into potpourri at the time. It was the nineties, after all.

I also have always loved my mom’s homemade cranberry sauce. Nothing particularly unique about it: just fresh cranberries with sugar, water, and some kind of orange flavoring – usually zest. She also occasionally made cranberry muffins and put dried cranberries in our trail mix or granola. I was never a big fan of raisins, but I sure enjoyed their cousin, Craisins. Yummers.

So here I now find myself continuing to love cranberries. But my kids don’t have the same affinity for them. So I’m trying to find ways to incorporate some cranberries into my kids’ holiday traditions. This year, I made a cranberry-pecan coffee cake for Thanksgiving Day morning. It paired perfectly with a side of crispy bacon and a hot latte… well, the kids had milk, but the latte is my favorite. Anyway, that is definitely a recipe we would enjoy again. We have had homemade cranberry sauce twice so far this season (including once when I added a splash of frangelica liqueur, which was a lovely touch). But I still want to try something else.

I think I may need to whip up a batch of cranberry orange muffins to start our Saturday with some zip. And then to pair with a pork loin roast tomorrow evening for our second Advent dinner, I think a cranberry apple chutney might work really well. And if I have any cranberries left that make it without getting gooey in the fridge by next week, I would love to try a cranberry balsamic chicken with cranberry brie bites on the side and cranberry apple upside-down cake for dessert.

It’s time to plan and prepare some more meals. It is just more part of the joyfully domestic life as a full time keeper of home, with seven people living here full time. There are no fewer than twenty-one meals a week which need planned and prepared to some extent. Perhaps breakfasts are mostly haphazard scavenging by the children on most days, but I need to be sure we have muffins or eggs or cereal or oatmeal available. That in itself takes some level of planning on my part. Lunches are often quick things to cook or compile, often just the heating up of leftovers and adding a side of fresh fruit and a cup of milk. But dinners can honestly be the bane of my existence sometimes. I go through seasons of loving the dinnertime routine… but often it is a rotation of cookery that simply feels like work without the pleasure. I know my people need fed well, so I do my utmost to use healthy ingredients and prepare tasty meals. But it honestly CAN get to be a bit monotonous and predictable and uninspired. Sometimes I ask a friend for new ideas. Or I will even just call my sister-in-law and ask, “what’s for dinner?” A friend of mine had dedicated a category of food for each day of the week (Tuesday is tacos, Wednesday is chicken, Thursday is soup or salad depending on the season, Friday is pizza, Saturday is leftovers, Sunday is takeout, Monday is meatless…) just to have a starting point. When I was preparing for my fifth child’s arrival, before I even knew that bedrest was looming on the horizon, I compiled a list of our family favorite meals and posted it on the fridge. So if I ever felt too sick to come up with ideas based around food myself, I could just have a family member glance at the list for inspiration and we would move forward with it… sometimes with Mommy sucking on peppermints while trying not to smell anything meat-based or heated and seeking to avert my eyes from certain things because they would absolutely turn my tummy just on sight. (Honestly… blackberry jam and ground beef are pretty much ruined for me for life.)

But so much of holidays are based around foods. So how do we maintain beloved traditions while not letting the grow stagnant? How do we make holiday meals our own? How do we incorporate our children into the planning, the preparation, the cooking, the work AND the delight?

For my part, I take what I loved from my childhood and mix it with what my husband tells me he loved from his childhood. And we take a few things from each… then we try out different things on our kids like guinea pigs. I try to log what is delighted in while tossing aside what wasn’t anyone’s favorite. Sometimes you know it is an instant hit (like when Grandmama makes homemade donuts for everyone after cutting down Christmas trees on family property… and all ten grandkids devour them, declaring it to be a new annual must), while other times it takes a couple of tries to know that it has made the cut (like hosting weekly Advent meals… not because of any particular recipe, but because the energy of a mama wavers & wanes from time to time thanks to motherhood and hormones and any number of other things).

So I am learning. Growing. Trying. Often succeeding. And praising the Lord for the lot of it. He is good. I am only fourteen years into my own specific homemaking, but I helped my mother before that, so I might be a couple of decades into it. And honestly, sometimes He gives me something as simple as a cranberry to remind me that this is good. From stories to memories to recipes ~ these are the things of which memories, traditions, cultures are made.

Gather

I feel like I’ve never wanted a big old “gather” sign on my wall more than I do this year. It’s like our eyes are all opening to all kinds of things. Like covering coughs with elbows rather than hands- or washing your hands on the regular to remain sanitary- or that we actually do believe corporate weekly worship is important and needs to include singing. Other things I learned this year have included things like: my babies adore my parents, and ought not be kept from them- staying home for twelve weeks in a row can actually be an enormous gift- hugs & handshakes are not scary nor death-sentences- and welcoming people into our homes for various hospitality can not be taken for granted.

If you have ever had family drama surrounding holidays and extended relatives… that whole rubber band type stretch of how much you can fit in, or whose year it is (as though time spent with your family were a bargaining chip or hot commodity rather than an undeserved gift)… well, I’m pretty sure 2020 took the cake AND the icing on top.

So how about that “gather” sign, hmm?! I keep thinking I just need to rearrange some things on a wall or two… but then again, there are timeless options that I really want even more than that… because solagratia.co has this gorgeous option. Actually, let’s be real: they have LOTS of gorgeous options that would bless your home as well as mine. Consider that my unapologetic advertisement for a shop I love, as well as a resource I am saving pennies for myself!

All pithy pleasures aside, gathering for Thanksgiving this year was splendid. And because my family as well as my parents all have immunity to the bug that is trying to take over the world (tongue is in my cheek…), we felt zero guilt or shame in joining my brother’s family for the day. Honestly, we are basically just one big family anyway. They were in our pod from day one (literally! March 14!), and our kids are actually cousins but love each other (& treat each other) an awful lot like siblings. If there is a cousin-sibling hybrid out there, I guess that’s what these ten munchkins are.

I was happily assigned baked goods for the family feasting table. I made sourdough rolls plus six pies (pumpkin, pecan, and chocolate chess). A week later, we are finally licking clean the last of the pie plates. Of course we followed Thanksgiving up with two Advent meals for hospitality & celebration… so we have not been dieting our way through the pie plates.

But here is the real point of the celebrating, the abundance, the joy, the feasting, the hospitality, the pies that are decadent down to the last crumb: Christ has come to make us new, and He is coming again to finish the good work He began. He proclaimed on the cross, “It is finished”! And this is the best news for us as His people. Because it is finished, because He lived & died & resurrected & ascended, He will come again in glory! And from now until then we aren’t just waiting around for the good part of the story. We aren’t just wondering how to endure this life until we reach the life to come. No indeed, may it never be. This life in the meantime is a gift! It is our participation in the early/middle chapters of the story. It is our opportunity to imitate Him, to practice worship through work, to learn abundant grace by abundant giving, to learn immeasurable joy by immeasurable gratitude.

Gather. Feast. Sing. Show your gratitude through gifts like thanksgiving and gratitude-gifting. This is what Christ equips us for: good works. Let your hands get to work. Sweep the floor, make some food, fill the bellies of neighbors and strangers.

Be overcome with abundance. Because that’s exactly what you are.

Sacred psalmody, December

We worked hard on Psalm 70 all November, and while my kids had it perfected more quickly than I did, we all got there eventually. I would still love to learn the center section in four part harmony. Considering the month we had, I’m pretty pleased that the kids could absolutely hold their own on soprano, even when I broke into confident alto for the polyphonic section.

Now we have embarked into December, and we began learning Psalm 130. Again, it is a musical version of the actual NKJV text, so we are committing an entire Psalm to memory this month. It is a worthy endeavor and beautiful practice! I’m not entirely certain that the kids will fall in love with it because they tend to prefer major keys over minor, and complicated harmonies where they can each master their own part rather than needing to excel in unison and pitch-matching.

I think the meditations, discussion, and prayers this Psalm inspires will be a glorious gathering of blessing, and memorizing it through song will make it joyfully attainable.

Celebrations

Why do we celebrate? Why do we have traditions around things like birthdays and holidays and seasons and the Church calendar? These are not commanded celebrations or traditions, to be sure, but they are gifts to myself and my family and those whom we embrace in hospitality. God loves to show abundance in His kindness and mercy in His remembering. As image-bearers, I think it is particularly beautiful when we seek to copy Him in this abundance and mercy. If I have an opportunity to be kind, let me be showing it with abandon. If I have an opportunity to remember, let me do so with an active mercy to all around me.

As the wife and mother in my household, I get to set the tenor and timbre of most of the family traditions and celebrations we pursue (especially those we ultimately keep), and this is a huge privilege as well as honor. I want to do it with joy! But does that mean that, in order for it to bear good fruit, I also need to have a facade of happy whimsy or only put my hands to this work when I am feeling full of glee? No indeed.

As the tradition-maker, tradition-leader, tradition-keeper in our home, I get to set my hands, my mind, my heart, and my attitude toward the principle of joy in these things whether it comes naturally or not. I won’t seek to cultivate traditions that nobody likes or enjoys or remembers fondly, nor will I seek to be legalistic about traditions. Birthdays happen whether we have a cake, blow out a candle after singing a certain song, give gifts, or not. The only thing necessary for a birthday is to have a birth followed by a passage of time. My husband turns 38 today regardless of whether or not I made him a cake and gave him a gift. But I did those things because I love him, and we happen to keep those traditions in our family… I knew it would bless him if I kept those habits.

And with other traditions, this is likewise true. Tomorrow is the first day of Advent (which begins on the fourth Sunday prior to Christmas), although some of our Advent traditions won’t start until two days later, because some things just do 25 days in December. Both work just fine for me, and help me lead in gently. I can wade in each year without just throwing myself off an unseen sandbar. Advent does not necessitate nor imply drowning.

The Church calendar still begins the new year tomorrow, whether I mark it or not. There will be a candle lit in its honor at our morning worship service whether we light one at home or not. Christmas is still coming! We can’t keep it back! Even the world around us knows that they can’t stop it from coming. Just ask the Grinch. The Light has come: darkness has been shattered.

But in my love of Advent, I have gathered up some traditions through my years as the keeper at home. Keeping in line with our family’s deepest loves and culture-cornerstones, our traditions with Advent center primarily around books, music, food, and hospitality.

I am going to share some of our Advent traditions here this year. From recipes to poetry to devotional stories artwork, it is good to Mark what one’s own pursuits are as well as to learn from those of others around you.

One of our Advent traditions that starts today for us is our weekly Advent Dinner. On Saturday night, we kick off the next week of Advent with an upscaled dinner complete with chocolates, wine, readings & singing, and a group gift for the children. My parents live next door, so they have an open invitation to join us, and sometimes my grandma comes as well. It is full of candles and sparkle and my great-grandma’s china dishes. Then on Sundays after corporate worship at church, we have a family or two over for a simple lunch coupled with robust fellowship.

To start off my sharing this week, here were our menus:

Saturday Advent Feast:

•buttermilk biscuits with peach jam
•roasted Brussels sprouts, asparagus, carrots, & onion
•southern fried chicken
salted caramel brown sugar cheesecake

Sunday’s Hospitality Lunch:

•lasagna (gooey, cheesy, beefy!)
•sourdough bread with soft butter
•salad with bright balsamic dressing
•buttered carrots
•pecan pie
pumpkin cake with cinnamon icing

Tuesday Singing School

At our weekly homeschool co op meeting, I get to lead a short time of singing school at the beginning of the day. Last year, I got to teach Singing School as a 50-minute class every week to the kids in 2nd-6th grades. It was so much fun, and I loved watching the kids grow in their diligence, skill, understanding, and confidence. This is the third co op where I have taught Singing School, and it is always fun to bring a new challenge to a group of Christian kids and their mamas. I am never quite sure if what I bring to the table is what they expect… but they had to know what was coming at them because I start the first class off by handing out my packet of vision, resources, information, and selected songs. It’s probably a bit much at the getgo… but people adapt and grow to love it. It’s music, it’s God’s word, it’s communal creativity ~ what’s not to love?!

This year, I get ten minutes each week with all the ages – from my little one year old, up through all the mamas. It’s a broad range of skill levels and loves. But I approach it the same way I always approach Singing School: dive in, dig deep. It is worth pushing hard for beautiful music. It is worth prioritizing singing praise to God and making a joyful noise unto Him. It is worth memorizing long texts when they are beautifully composed poetic lyrics or excerpts from Scripture.

I love to teach solfege (do re mi fa sol la ti, etc) and kodaly hand signs (which are hand positions connected to each syllable of solfege), conducting patterns and musical terminology. But more than that, I love simply scooping up the people around me, and gathering them into a piece of music – no strings attached – just sing with me. Let’s simply tune our voices to sing His praise. Let’s combine our individual voices into one sonorous line to bless the ears of our Maker.

I firmly believe that He delights over us. Zephaniah 3 says that He sings over us! How could we not, in His image, sing over Him in return?! Let us shout for joy and be glad, let us rejoice in the days He makes, let us offer to Him a psalm of thanksgiving! And let us exhort one another, teaching each other in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs while today is yet called today.

It is good to lift our voices.
Let us not grow weary in doing good.
Let us not give up this calling or cower beneath governors who want to shut our mouths.
They need the gospel.
We need to sing.

Today I assigned Psalm 100 (to the familiar tune of the Doxology) as well as a favorite Jamie Soles version of the Kings of Israel. I am hoping that my kids and I can have these two things memorized by the time we go back to co op on December 1st. But the Kings of Israel is quite the tongue twister, so it’s aiming high! 😉
We are also continuing to revisit other songs we have introduced to our co op for memory already this year: The Lord’s Prayer, The Patriarchs, The Books of the Bible, The Ten Commandments, Psalm 8, and Psalm 47.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all ye lands! Amen!

Psalm 100:1-2 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord Postcard | Zazzle.com

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

A Psalm for giving thanks.

100 Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!

 Serve the LORD with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

 Know that the LORD, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

 For the LORD is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

Monday Morning Time 11.16.20

If you are bouncing around the internet looking for homeschooling ideas, or if you are a seasoned homeschooler familiar with pillars like Pam Barnhill, Cindy Rollins, or Sarah Mackenzie, “Morning Time” may mean more to you than simply the hours lumped between the ring of the alarm clock & the growling bellies of the lunch hour. Interestingly, when I first read “Mere Motherhood” by Cindy Rollins a couple years ago, I remember finding almost everything in there familiar and comforting rather than startling or groundbreaking. I think that is one of the things I love most about stumbling upon resources online or through friends: I often find that what I am already doing with my kids at home is actually something that people are promoting, theorizing, even monetizing. It’s like I don’t have to second guess myself and my home education methods, but rather find that people are cheering me on and gathering others onto a similar journey. It is extremely comforting and even gratifying. I am not alone. We are doing well. And this thing called home education is not only fruitful in the long haul, but even in the daily grind.

So what is Morning Time? My friend Cindy Rollins would say that it is a time for everyone in the home to gather together and focus on learning true, good, beautiful things that order our loves and remind us that things which can easily be shuffled to the side are actually of greatest prominence. It is a liturgy for beautifying our minds and souls. It reminds us that there is no separation between the sacred and the secular. To read more about what Cindy says, I urge you to read her Handbook to Morning Time (click here for her free PDF), or let me know if you want a bound copy – I happen to know she has some copies in her garage, and I would happily help hook you up with one of those (as long as supply lasts).

Just as our home education is not identical to the home education of anyone else we know, neither is our Morning Time routine. The liturgy we follow in our home reflects the loves, passions, and pursuits of the people who live here. It is the basic backbone of the education we long for & ultimately chase. Cindy says that the practice in her home is made up of several elements: morning meeting, composer study, artist study, prayer time, hymn singing, Bible reading and memorization, Shakespeare and Plutarch, poetry reading and memorization, a quick conversational grammar lesson, and reading aloud. When I spoke with Cindy last week (either over a leisurely cup of coffee while it snowed outside, or later while I drove her to the airport – I forget exactly when), she told me that Morning Time with her family (she educated her eight sons and one daughter over a period of thirty years) would often last for more than two hours. I was so heartened by that! Because I often find that the Morning Time routine in my own home lasts that long, and I had wondered if that were completely abnormal and overkill. But we love it… so I am loathe to cut it short, unless it is a day where we have places to go. Like Wednesdays, when we have piano lessons, ballet lessons, a library run, and other errands to accomplish while we are all the way in town. (Yes, we live in the country… so any time we drive to town over 45 minutes away, we pack it all in: and yes again, it definitely involves audiobooks on the regular.)

So what does Morning Time look like in my home? I have four sons and one daughter, currently ranging in age from 17 months to 12 1/2 years. Morning Time is not often polished and predictable, but I can honestly say it is both ordered and adored.

We gather. Often at the kitchen table, often at the couches by the fire, occasionally on the back patio or the front lawn (seasonally dependent, of course). I have our current Morning Time books and resources compiled in a wheeled metal cart for easy utilization, although a “morning basket” has been popular & efficient for moguls like Pam Barnhill and Dawn Garrett. I just found that we outgrew a basket too quickly… so a cart with wheels serves us best.

The Doxology is sung, and we sing with gusto. In harmony. With open hands raised to our Father in heaven. It is a favorite moment of every day. A beloved practice.

We tend to then start with Scripture. We read a Psalm, a Proverb, and another selection from whatever book we are currently reading through. At this moment, it is 1 Samuel. We read through the Pentateuch earlier this year, and have been revisiting it again as we study ancient history with our local homeschool co op. So I thought the kids would like a New Testament letter from Paul or something, but they requested Samuel. So that’s where we are reading currently. The children all take turns reading aloud together, but it helps if each child has a Bible of their own on their lap so their eyes can follow along and help keep their attention focused. We are learning the habit of attention, and that’s one reason I start with Scripture. Eventually, kids get squirrelly, so we want to give highest attention to that which we find most important.
We don’t do too much of a formal study at this point. We have used study books in the past, or used formal discussion questions. My kids are very curious and conversational by nature, so we most often simply talk about what stands out to us, how we can learn from what we have read, what challenges us, or what we love about it.
The kids and I also then each do a little Scripture copywork in our journals. Sometimes the selection I choose is the same for each of us: sometimes it is shorter for the kindergartener and longer for the older kids, and an entire chapter for myself. It generally takes 5-8 minutes, I think. I love to have music playing quietly while we do this.

Then we move on with more singing. Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Our favorite resources are the Cantus Christi hymnal from Canon Press, the Cantica Sanctorum also from Canon Press, Then Sings My Soul, the Hosanna student hymnal, and Jamie Soles songs. I happen to have a degree in music, and my kids have followed in the footsteps of their parents with love of singing to the Lord as well as a practiced habit of growing this skill. They’ve got talent. But even if they thought they couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, singing would still be paramount in our family life, our educational pursuits, and our liturgy of Morning Time. It is a cornerstone for us.
We participate in HappyHymnody‘s monthly hymn, and love memorizing along with friends all over the place. We also choose a monthly Psalm, and share it at SacredPsalmody. Then I lead music at our homeschool co op each week, so we practice those songs during Morning Time at home. And the kids like to request good old favorites in rotation. They especially love to sing in four part harmony, and often choose things with difficult, contrasting lines.

We then have prayer – sometimes it involves us all taking turns, sometimes it is one of us leading in using an Every Moment Holy liturgy, sometimes it is based on a psalm, sometimes it is me praying over my children even feeling like I’m about to lose it at the end of my wits. We have a little jar of popsicle sticks on which we have written all kinds of prayer requests and prompts, and the children love to draw sticks from that for prayer time. This can last anywhere from two to ten minutes.

We usually sing the Gloria Patri at this point. Again in harmony, quite loud, with hands raised and open.

We work through each child’s catechism, doing about five minutes per child. They try to listen to one another and practice the skill of listening, the art of attention, the habit of encouragement. But it’s tricky sometimes, because by this point we’ve lost the toddler and the kindergartner has gotten squirrelly, and even the big kids start getting giggly. In my family, we start each child with a Small Child’s Catechism, and once they have mastered all fifty of those Q&A, they move on to learning the Westminster Shorter for Children. After they can recite all 145 of those answers (which takes a solid fifteen minutes in succession), they begin with the New City catechism. I am not sure yet what we will learn after that… my two oldest kids and I are not yet through that one! We continue working and growing together in faith and practice.

Then we continue to work on memory, usually reciting & adding to a Scripture memory. Last year we memorized the entirety of Psalm 103. This year we are working on Proverbs 2. It is so difficult for me to memorize such long portions without having it set to music! I am seeking to learn and grow.
Then each child has a turn to recite one or two poems. Sometimes we simply read poetry to one another (Sing a Song of Seasons, Favorite Poems Old and New, 100 Best Poems, Poetry for Young People), always we recite for one another. Practicing speaking in front of others, and growing in the art of elocution, is hugely important to us.
At this point we will review any memory work from co op, Sunday school, or other resource as well.

When we are currently doing an art study, composer study, or Shakespeare study, we will include it now. Last year, we focused on geography (loving the Mapping the World with Art resource!), and loved including Geography Songs here as well. This year, we are doing ancient history, so often review readings, videos, poetry, or timeline for that.

We close our Morning Time then with reading aloud and art. Sometimes art is very specific, sometimes it is free for the children to choose. They do complicated dot to dot or sticker art sometimes. They use how-to-draw books and fill lots of sketchbooks with exquisite drawings. Occasionally they watercolor or use colored pencils in a variety of coloring books.

We tend to get most of our reading recommendations from my friends Sarah and Betsy at ReadAloud Revival and Redeemed Reader. I can vouch for both resources. We have relied on their reviews and lists of suggestions for years, and have probably only had three duds ever. If you had any idea how many books the kids and I go through on a regular basis (more than fifty large books, and absolutely countless hundreds of picture books), you would realize how excellent a ratio that is. We have five library cards and a few audiobook accounts… and a quite large home library in walls lined in bookcases upstairs in our schoolroom, built-in cases in the family room, and shelves for each child in their bedrooms for easiest storage & access. We are proud bibliophiles, and have the collection to prove it.

On an average day, I think I spend 1-3 hours reading aloud to my children. But it varies that vastly, depending on whether we are out and about, or how much co op homework we have, or what the weather is like. When I was on bedrest or during the worst of the covid-19 lockdowns, it was at least 3 hours a day… and we loved it to pieces. Those are our favorite days.

And I think that is what I am circling back round to now: the fact that Morning Time is our favorite thing. If we don’t do anything else to redeem a day, Morning Time (even in a shortened, bare bones version) brings beauty, form, liturgy, truth, and goodness to our day. It forces us to practice habits of recitation, attention, listening, learning, spiritual graces, practical skill. It brings joy to our home. It knits our family culture.

I would love to share more Morning Time snippets here on the blog. And I would love to read about your own experiences and explore your favorite resources as well. Please share!

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11.16.20 Morning Time Selections

Doxology

SCRIPTURE READINGS
Psalm 119:105-128
Proverbs 8
1 Samuel 26

SONG SELECTIONS
Psalm 8
Psalm 47
Psalm 70
A Mighty Fortress
For the Beauty of the Earth

Gloria Patri

POETRY
A Walking Song by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Weight of Wonder by Ben Palpant
We Wear the Mask by Paul Lawrence Dunbar
Creation by Joseph Carlson
Pied Beauty by Gerard Manley Hopkins
Bud of Joy by Amy Carmichael
Yellow by Olive Dove
David by Joseph Carlson

READ-ALOUDS
Radiant by Richard Hannula
Pages of History, Vol. 1 by Bruce Etter
Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris by R.L. LaFevers

Sacred Psalmody 2020

God is so kind to require our praise in song, and then to mercifully act in His kindness to make it an absolutely delightful practice! What a good Father. I realize that I may have a little edge on this perspective, because I was raised singing Scripture and other spiritual songs basically from infancy. Some of my dearest, earliest memories are from singing with my father at bedtime, accompanied by his strummed guitar. He put verses to music to help me hide the Word in my heart from my youngest days. I truly believe this is one of the most effective ways my parents walked me into the Christian life of faith, and effectively engaged my heart and mind in the things of the Lord while He graciously granted me the gift of never knowing a time without calling on His name.

I became a pianist shortly after my early introduction to being a singer, and was a church accompanist by the time I was a teenager. I have accompanied in CREC, Anglican, and PCA churches. When I attended Whitworth University, I wanted to get my Bachelor’s in accompaniment but they didn’t have that focus at the time. Although I was bummed, I did get a general music BA with an emphasis on church music, and a minor in theology, using voice as my instrument and choir as my main focus. There was nothing like it – I was only there for two years, having spent three years prior at a lovely community college – and I fondly look at that time at Whitworth as a season of foundational both musical and spiritual growth for me.

Since becoming a homeschooling mama, I have been essentially grooming and growing my own little chorale. When God took me through the years of multiple miscarriages, our wandering in the wilderness of struggling to grow our family, one of my big heartbreaks was the idea that I would not have children filling my home with music. Oh! how the Lord laughs, and how I laugh with Him! for my Lord has fulfilled that desire now to overflowing! It brings tears to my eyes. (And more than an occasional headache or need for ear plugs.) Honestly though, there is almost nothing that brings more joy to my heart than hearing the voices of my children united in the joyful noise of praising the King.

In addition to singing every day in our Morning Time routine here at home, I have also had the blessing of teaching Singing School to three different local Christian homeschooling co ops. I love to bring others along with us in our journey of singing praise to God, including (especially!) the Psalms.

I do not subscribe to the idea of sole psalmody in worship as do some good brothers and sisters in Christ, but I do deeply believe we ought to sing Psalms. We ought to know them and love them and work hard to deepen our knowledge of their wisdom and theology and singability.

My children and I have the goal to learn at least one sung/chanted version of each of the 150 Psalms before our home education days together are ended. My oldest child is already in seventh grade, so I have some motivation to quicken the pace. If we were to memorize one Psalm a month, it would take over twelve years to accomplish that goal. So it is more than a little lofty. Praise the Lord, I still have a toddler, and have many years for growing and singing and educating left ahead of me.

Please allow me now to share with you the Psalms we chose to memorize for the year 2020.

January ~ Psalm 117 ~ text: KJV; music: David R. Erb; source: Cantica Sanctorum
February ~ Psalm 121 ~ text: NKJV; music: David R. Erb; source: Cantica Sanctorum
March ~ Psalm 23 ~ text: Henry W. Baker; music: Old Irish melody, St. Columba; source: Cantus Christi
April ~ Psalm 34 ~ text: The Book of Psalms for Singing; music: John Wainwright, Yorkshire; source: Cantus Christi
May ~ Psalm 122 ~ text: Tate & Brady; music: William Tans, Colchester; source: Cantus Christi
June ~ Psalm 98 ~ text: text: The Book of Psalms for Singing; music: Thomas Jarman, Desert; source: Cantus Christi
July ~ Psalm 148 ~ text: The Book of Psalms for Singing; music: Horatio Palmer, St. Catherine’s; source: Cantus Christi
August ~ Psalm 63 ~ text: Psalter of 1912; music: Thomas Tallis, Third Mode Melody; source: Cantus Christi
September ~ Psalm 111 ~ text: NKJV; music: Gustav Holst, David R. Erb; source: Cantica Sanctorum
October ~ Psalm 103 ~ text: Johann Gramann, Catherine Winkworth; music: Johann Kugelmann, Heinrich Schutz; source: Cantus Christi
November ~ Psalm 70 ~ text: NKJV; music: David R. Erb; source: Cantus Christi
December ~ Psalm 130 ~ text: NKJV; music: David R. Erb; source: Cantus Christi

Pursuing Paideia through Song

One of the main ways I personally love to pursue the paideia of the Lord here in our home with my children is through the reading, singing, and memorization of Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. To help encourage myself to be diligent in this way, I started a little Instagram page called @sacredpsalmody this year to document the Psalms my kids and I are memorizing each month. I hope to connect Sacred Psalmody here at Joyful Domesticity through a category or tag to make it easy to reference each month’s Psalm. For a couple of years, we have used @happyhymnody to memorize one hymn per month along with many friends. It was my dear friend Elizabeth, who now lives seven hours away, who first introduced me to the wonderful work April does at Happy Hymnody, and I am so grateful. I love knowing that we are memorizing texts and tunes along with those closest to our hearts, even though we are physically distanced from one another. When we do see each other, we can sing together from memory, encouraging and exhorting one another through song for God’s glory.

In our home, we try to start our day with Morning Time (similar to things you might learn from Cindy Rollins or Pam Barnhill), and a main component of this is our singing. My children love singing, harmonizing, memorizing – I literally can’t keep the number of songs below six each day, even when I am trying to do a “short version” of our Morning Time routine. We do the Doxology and the Lord’s Prayer regularly, sometimes a sung version of a creed, at least one or two psalms, at least two hymns, and possibly some other non-spiritual song of some sort (last year we sang lots of Geography Songs and this year we are doing some Ancient/Bible History songs). What a gift to raise our voices together!

Honestly, sometimes I need to preach to myself that IT IS A GIFT. Because these kids would sing at the top of their lungs all day long if their mama would let them. What about yours? I would love to know what songs, psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, and non-spiritual educational or folk songs you love to sing in your home.

What kind of soundtracks do you like to play in the house or while on the road? We love to have JJ Heller, Andrew Peterson, Slugs & Bugs, or Jamie Soles playing on the cd player in the kitchen if there are ever moments where the piano isn’t being played, ukuleles strummed, or voices lifted. Music is central to culture. Cindy Rollins said just recently, in a webinar called Educating the Freeborn, that music is dangerous. And an old pastor friend of ours has long drilled into me that worship is warfare. We must train ourselves in this art, this skill. We must raise the children in our homes to wield this weapon with clarity, creativity, and confidence. We must use music for the pursuit of paideia.