Gabriel got to pick out a balloon for himself, as well as six for his siblings in heaven: two pink, two blue, two silver. Then after he helped Mommy write a note remembering the babies ~ he let them fly up toward the heavens!
Remember With Us
Psalm 112:6
For the righteous will never be moved;
he will be remembered forever.
We remember every day of our life. Today we ask you to remember with us. To remember our children–your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your cousins, your friends. Remember our little redheads who dance on the streets of heaven, praising God in the highest, singing blessing and honor and glory and might (just like their brother here on earth tries to imitate) ~ for them, the former things have passed away, and they do not know tears, mourning, death, crying, or pain. Amen!!
Please remember with us today on October 15th, our own Remembrance Day.
If you have facebook, or any other online presence, please make a statement. Update your status as remembering the bereaved parents on Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day, in their grief and for their hope.
For our babies today, I will wear their names around my neck; I will wear pink & blue; I will light six candles; I will let go of six balloons; I will make a bold online statement; I will pray not only for my grieving family, but for the hundreds of grieving families I’ve met around the world who also remember today; I will cry; I will not forget; I will try to have hope.
This is my story.
This is my face.
This is one place I minister.
This is another.
This is something I wrote.
This is something my hubby wrote.
This is a good read.
Today we remember.
Please remember with us.
We love you so much, our beautiful children, our incredible gifts from God ~ our own Covenant Hope, Glory Hesed, Promise Anastasis, Peace Nikonos, Mercy Kyrie, Victory Athanasius. And we will be with you soon!
Save, Lord!
Psalm 118:25, “Save us, we pray, O LORD! O LORD, we pray, give us success!”
The word Hosanna literally means Save, Lord. It is a cry for salvation. At the same time, it is a declaration of praise. What a beautiful, complex word.
This is the word that now fills our lips as we cry to God to save us and give us success. He has filled my womb with our eighth baby! And as H is the eighth letter of the alphabet, we are calling this little one our Hosanna-Baby.
I don’t have the luxury of waiting to tell you all until further into the pregnancy, because we need your prayers! Please praise God with us for His kindness in blessing us with this little baby. And please beseech His mercy and grace with us as we beg for Him to save us ~ to give us joy instead of grief.
Conceiving is only the first of many, many hurdles for us. This is so scary, tenuous. God has given life, and now we ask Him to sustain it. We are thankful for this beautiful blessing. And for the confidence we have in Christ that as we belong to Him, so do each one of our children. All eight of them.
Amen.
Hosanna!
Thy work alone, O Christ
Not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul;
Not what my toiling flesh has borne can make my spirit whole.
Not what I feel or do can give me peace with God;
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears can bear my awful load.
Your voice alone, O Lord, can speak to me of grace;
Your power alone, O Son of God, can all my sin erase.
No other work but Yours, no other blood will do;
No strength but that which is divine can bear me safely through.
Thy work alone, O Christ, can ease this weight of sin;
Thy blood alone, O Lamb of God, can give me peace within.
Thy love to me, O God, not mine, O Lord, to Thee,
Can rid me of this dark unrest, And set my spirit free.
I bless the Christ of God; I rest on love divine;
And with unfaltering lip and heart I call this Savior mine.
His cross dispels each doubt; I bury in His tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear, each lingering shade of gloom.
I praise the God of grace; I trust His truth and might;
He calls me His, I call Him mine, My God, my joy and light.
’Tis He Who saveth me, and freely pardon gives;
I love because He loveth me, I live because He lives.
~Horatius Bonar, 1808-1889~
My Face
It’s October now.
Many people don’t know that this month is designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. (now you do.)
Furthermore, October 15th is the specific day set aside as a remembrance day for the loss of all these children.
Including six of my children.
So while I remember and love my children every day of the year, and miss them even more specifically on their loss dates and due dates… this is a special national time to openly remember my kids. While I am never afraid or ashamed to speak of Covenant, Glory, Promise, Peace, Mercy, and Victory ~ but, in fact, love to do it because I love them and also because I want to use their lives to impact the world ~ this remembrance day/month affords extra opportunities for me to share my story. Their stories. Our story.
In honor of that, I finally got the courage to post my story on a site called Faces Of Loss, Faces Of Hope. It’s sort of a sister site to the Grieve Out Loud site that I participate in.
I was glad to get my story up there. To talk about my children. To share my faith. To give the glory to God. To cry while I did it.
Take a look at my face. I am the face of recurrent miscarriage. I am the face of grief. I am the face of a bereaved mommy. I am the face of plowing in hope.
Abraham
Abraham was long tried, but he was richly rewarded.
The Lord tried him by delaying to fulfill His promise. Satan tried him by temptation; men tried him by jealousy, distrust, and opposition; Sarah tried him by her peevishness. But he patiently endured. He did not question God’s veracity, nor limit His power, nor doubt His faithfulness, nor grieve His love; but he bowed to divine sovereignty, submitted to infinite wisdom, and was silent under delays, waiting the Lord’s time. And so, having patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
God’s promises cannot fail of their accomplishment. Patient waiters cannot be disappointed. Believing expectation shall be realized.
Beloved, Abraham’s conduct condemns a hasty spirit, reproves a murmuring one, commends a patient one, and encourages quiet submission to God’s will and way. Remember, Abraham was tried; he patiently waited; he received the promise, and was satisfied. Imitate his example, and you will share the same blessing.
~Streams In The Desert~
God had to bring Abraham to the end of his own strength, and to let him see that in his own body he could do nothing. He had to consider his own body as good as dead, and then take God for the whole work; and when he looked away from himself, and trusted God alone, then he became fully persuaded that what He had promised, he was able to perform. That is what God is teaching us, and He has to keep away encouraging results until we learn to trust without them, and then He loves to make His Word real in fact as well as faith.
~A.B. Simpson~
It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
Fall Day
Instead of giving in to the hard morning I’m having, I am flipping over my calendar page a day early, and trying to embrace October instead of sticking my tongue out at it. So I’m lighting a seasonal candle, baking pumpkin cookies, and reading a Keates poem on fall. Later Gabriel and I will go play in the pine needles outside and work in the garden.
To Autumn
by John Keats (1820)
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep,
Drows’d with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.
Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.
Fresh Pumpkin Cookies
2 cups butter
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. allspice (I added a little cloves and nutmeg too)
1 cup chopped walnuts
2 cups sugar
2 cups fresh pumpkin puree
4 cups flour (sifted)
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 cups raisins (I did 1 cup golden raisins, 1 cup mini chocolate chips)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Blend all ingredients thoroughly.
Drop one inch dough balls onto greased cookie sheet.
Baking time 10 minutes.
Pita Pizza
I made Greek chicken pitas for dinner last week and wanted to make the pitas from scratch this time. I was hoping they would puff up and be pocket-pita types… but only one turned out that way. Not quite sure why. But they really were great for being the fold-over-pita type. And I made too many. So I wanted to figure out something fun to do with the leftovers.
Thus, last night we had pita pizza for dinner! It was an amazingly quick and simple meal. I happened to have shredded mozzarella, a little turkey pepperoni, and a gallon bag of garden basil leaves in the freezer. I also had a couple slices of salami and a huge bowl of garden fresh tomatoes in the fridge. Add a little parmesan, a couple garlic cloves, some olive oil, salt & pepper ~ I had everything I needed to throw together a quick and amazing dinner.
This was an excellent meal for letting Gabriel really truly help, too! It was so much fun! I love letting him enter my world and do what I do. And so does he!
Brushing his own pita with olive oil
Spreading on some fresh tomato-parmesan-garlic sauce, after he mixed it for me
Toppings are so much fun, and he was so proud of himself
My finished product
Gabriel’s finished product… while he constantly snitched cheese
After they had been transferred to the pizza stone in the 400 degree oven for just a few minutes, dinner was ready! While they heated up, Gabriel set the table, I made garden salads, and Daddy poured some wine leftover from the Sabbath.
Now I am planning on making pitas again and keeping a stack of them in the freezer (along with some cheese and turkey pepperoni) to have on hand for days when a quick dinner would be a blessing.
Keep those meals from scratch, and get those sweet little hands busy in the kitchen!





















