Joyful Domesticity

As a mother, sometimes I have to remind myself of rather basic lessons with simple equations. Ends being greater than the means is one of those lessons I pondered anew today. The end in question was fellowship amongst siblings, which is something that is very important in our home. There are lots of ways to encourage camaraderie and build friendship in relationships. Shared stories (we do lots of reading aloud here for this exact purpose), board games & card games, working in tandem, hikes & bike rides, cooking or eating together, imaginative play with blocks or dolls or (let’s be honest) just about anything that fits in a kid’s hand… there are countless ways to have fun together and nurture friendship. I love watching my kids plan and play together, run and riot together, team up and try topping one another. Being the main observer of these friendships is often a gift! Sometimes it is also a trial, because we are all sinners, and squabbles inevitably break out. Toes get stepped on, tempers ignite, a truce can be hard won. But this too is a blessing to watch or assist. We are not naïve. Teaching our children to work through relationship bumps is a hugely important part of training them in the paideia of the Lord! And where else would I rather them get this practice?! So I seek to be thankful for the teaching opportunities when they arise. Lord, give me grace to have gratitude in the moment.

So that is the end. Fellowship and friendship and togetherness. Championing one another. And I listed some means… but that list is simply a small smattering of ideas. Traditions are another means: from larger traditions like birthday or holiday habits to weekly routines of watching a movie as a family on Sunday evening. Those things foster friendship amongst our kids, and create fond communal memories. Today I watched my kids snuggle and bounce and giggle and gasp together on the couch as they played Minecraft together on their tablets. This is a special treat they are normally allowed to do once or twice each weekend. And this is circling me back around to my original thought. As I watched them, it didn’t bother me that their noses were aimed at screens and their eyes were bathed in blue light. (And that’s saying something, because I am honestly not a video game lover myself.) I was overwhelmed with joy at the fellowship they were enjoying and the friendship they were pursuing.

This is how we seek to use technology and screens in our home: to build friendship and bolster fellowship. If we use technology and screens to erect walls and encourage isolation, we are using them negatively. This goes for parents as well as for kids. I am determined not to open the laptop or swipe mindlessly on my phone as a means of folding into myself or hiding away from my family. Lord, give us grace to be honest with our intentions and outworkings.

So this is my reminder to myself (and to you): the ends are greater than the means. The joy of my children and the cumulative actions they take in growing friendship and strengthening fellowship is much more important than whether they are playing a board game or a video game. Lord, give me the grace to have eyes which see this happening in my home. Thank You for giving me children! And for giving my children true friends in one another. Amen.

Psalms 133:1
“Behold, how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!”

(And here is just a little plug for a beautiful resource I love: https://siblingrelationshiplab.com/
If you haven’t found their podcast yet, get it queued up! This is a blessing.)

AESOP’S FABLE:

One fine day in winter some ants were busy drying their store of corn, which had got rather damp during a long spell of rain. Presently up came a grasshopper and begged them to spare her a few grains. “For,” she said, “I’m simply starving.” The ants stopped work for a moment, though this was against their principles. “May we ask,” said they, “what you were doing with yourself all last summer? Why didn’t you collect a store of food for the winter?” “The fact is,” replied the grasshopper, “I was so busy singing that I hadn’t the time.” “Well, if you spent the summer singing,” replied the ants, “you can’t do better than to spend the winter dancing.” And they chuckled, and went on with their work.

Proverbs 6:6-8
Go to the ant, O sluggard,
Observe her ways and be wise,
Which, having no chief,
Officer or ruler,
Prepares her food in the summer
And gathers her provision in the harvest.

Proverbs 30:24-25
Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer…

What is a sluggard?

Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

Sluggishness is slow, slothful laziness..
It is opposite of diligence and hard work.

When the Proverbs say to “go to the ant,” he is telling a lazy man to look at their opposite. Proverbs says that it is wise to observe the ways of the tiny ant. An insect, of all things! Usually when Scripture talks about insects, it is in a less favorable light. Gnats, flies, locusts, bees, hornets, grasshoppers, insects in general—they are usually demonstrating acts of war, judgment, pain, sorrow. Even when spiders are mentioned (as being in kings’ palaces, or as someone’s trust being as flimsy as a spider web), they are not mentioned particularly favorably… even though I think culturally we consider spiders to be creative, clever, resourceful, and good. Maybe I don’t want them in my house, but I definitely want them in my garden… so there’s that to consider!

But what is interesting about ants in Scripture is that they are only mentioned favorably. They are known as being planners, hard workers, strong, wise, not needing to be bossed around but rather seamlessly working together for the good of their community.

Sometimes when I have a child not wanting to do the work that has been put before them, I can cheerfully remind them (with a wink and a grin) to “go to the ant, you sluggard! Be wise!” and they will remember to attack their jobs with a pleasant countenance and strong muscles. I sometimes remind myself of this same thing. Like when I don’t feel like changing the bed sheets, or cooking dinner, or prepping lesson plans. I too need to go to the ant! I need to seek wisdom! I need to turn away from the ways of a sluggard.

POEM:

Nimble little ants
Incredible ants
You flock in groups
You flock as troops

You search everywhere in quest for dine
Without a shiver running down spine
You pick from soil, you pick from roots
You climb tall trees to catch the fruits
You haul bigger things here and there
Even my sugar you do not spare
You work so hard while the sky is dry
To kick hunger out when ugly clouds cry.

Keen little ants
Hardworking ants
You work together to attain a goal
And carry out tasks with body and soul
Believing in each other, you stick and cling
And without a penny, your riches are of the king
You have a colony guarded by soldiers
And a queen you save from dangers
You capture slaves to reinforce workers
In a world of cutters farming to feed others
You farm for soldiers
You farm for workers
Queen needs food
Pupae need food
So many to feed, no time to rest
You work day and night to give your best.

Valiant little ants
Soldier ants
You dig, you crawl
You climb, you haul
You rove underground
You journey on land
While on a quest
You match abreast
With flawless braveness
And premium eagerness
With just a sting
You shoo the jungle’s king
and without a sword
You get enemies floored.

Incredible ants!
Amazing ants!
Learn from ants, so He says,
For they are incredible in a million ways.

–Sesan Falade

So as we go through another day of education together, and another week at home with our families, let us remember to consider the ways of the wee little ant: who works surprisingly hard, who does not give up easily, who doesn’t rely on bossiness but rests in their diligent frame. Turn away from the folly of the grasshopper, and pursue the wisdom of the ant!

There are so many big things echoing around the world right now, but none of it ultimately changes what I do on a day to day basis. Absolutely nothing about my life or routine has to alter because of politics or viruses or broader cultural unrest. I praise the Lord for my “quiet, peaceable life.” I praise Him for the work He has put into my hands, for the calling and position and pursuits He has ordained for me.

As I continue to pursue knowledge, wisdom, grace, and love by the mercy of God and His continual provision and guidance, my endeavors remain unshaken: to raise my five children for the Lord and His kingdom, to educate them in His paideia and according to His law, to love my husband and grow in helpmeeting skills, to be a keeper at home who cultivates things that are healthy and helpful and lovely. My job is all about consistency and faithfulness in truth, goodness, and beauty. We pursue most of that in the daily routines of home and education and faith: worship, fellowship, books, music, food, forgiveness, celebrating, encouraging, praying.

We struggle through sibling squabbles, parental pride, miscommunication, unmet desires, selfishness and self-deprecation. We continue step by step down the path of sanctification, and thanks be to God we are not called that way in isolation. We are called in community to be His people. We fight the good fight of faith, equipped with His armor and wielding His weaponry, not as lone soldiers but alongside one another and surrounded by His cloud of witnesses. Let me repeat: We are not alone!

To confidently stride onward, knowing that He does all things well… to know that His justice shall prevail… to know that not a single cell of creation is out of His control… this is my comfort, my consolation, my confidence. This is my Christ.

And so as we prepare to plod into another week by faith, my days will look very similar to last week… and last month… and last year. I will cook good food, read good books, teach my kids good things, take them good places, encourage them in good works. Why?! Because our Christ is on the Throne. And what we are called to do is nothing more nor less than doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him.

Please praise Him with me, in thanks for the snippets of joy He strews along the way!
Crackling fires in the woodstove
Homemade pizza that seemed to multiply: it lasted for three huge meals
Fresh lemonade to make the Sabbath sweet
A new-to-us vehicle that is big enough for my whole family AND a load of groceries
Stories that make my children beg for “just one more chapter!”
Little voices that recite catechism and poetry with skill and adorableness
Friends with whom I engage in mutual prayer
Voxer messages that encourage and exhort me
Fitbit challenges that remind me to keep moving
Neighbors stopping by on a Sunday afternoon
Finishing audiobooks while getting my steps
Board games with big kids
Crafts with little kids
Reading challenges x3
Silicone earplugs
Teaching kids to blow gum bubbles
Husband combing his fingers through my hair at night

Current books:
The Candymakers and the Great Chocolate Chase by Wendy Mass
Radiant by Richard Hannula
Pages of History, Vol 1 by Etter and Detweiler
The Door at the End of the World by Caroline Carlson
Salt Fat Acid Heat by Samin Nosrat
Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl

Recently read:
Virgil Wander by Leif Enger
Home Front by Kristin Hannah
The Winter King by Christine Cohen
Alice’s Farm by Maryrose Wood
Alexander the Great by Jacob Abbott

Upcoming books:
The Clockwork Crow by Catherine Fisher
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Save Me the Plums by Ruth Reichl
Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes du Mez

Last week for a Tuesday meditation on the idea of work, we simply read a fable, a poem, and a Scripture. This week, we are jumping into a slightly larger perspective on the place of work in Scripture. The kids I am sharing this with at our co op are ages 5-13, and I try to lean into the Socratic method of asking questions to find forward motion and uncover wisdom through didactic conversation. I don’t speak to this group as a pastor, but as a facilitator. I am a fellow-learning, and we are pursuing spiritual health and wisdom and intellect together in community.

That said, what are some things we can find out about work, in the context of Scripture??

GOD WAS THE FIRST WORKER
Genesis 2:3
“Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that He had done.”

GOD PUT HUMANS TO WORK BEFORE THE FALL
Genesis 2:15
“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

HARD WORK BRINGS PROFIT
Proverbs 14:23
“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”

WE ARE TO WORK FOR THE LORD
Colossians 3:23
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

WE WORK IN ORDER TO SHARE
Ephesians 4:28
“Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.”

GOD IS THE ONE WHO MAKES OUR WORK A BLESSING
Psalm 90:17
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.”

So obviously, this shows us that work is mentioned in the Bible right from the very beginning! In fact, the very very VERY beginning! The first verse in Scripture says that “God MADE” something. Making something requires work, doesn’t it? Soon after that we learn that God made HUMANS, specifically made in His image, which means that He made us to be workers. Like Him. For Him. Blessed by Him.

What does it mean to work?

William Bennett’s “Book of Virtues” says that “work is applied effort: it is whatever we put ourselves into, whatever we expend our energy on for the sake of accomplishing something or achieving something.”

When I say the word “work,” what do you think of? What images come to mind? What kind of work/jobs/activities come to mind?

Who works? Just grownups?

Do YOU work?

What kind of work do you do?

How do you know if it is good work?

Do you know if work is virtuous?

How can we know that work is good?

A lot of people probably ask you, “what are you going to be when you grow up?” What do they mean by that? They usually mean, “What job are you going to do in order to earn a paycheck?” But what we really ought to be asking is, “what is your work in the world going to be?” “What will be your works?” “What work will you spend your body and soul pursuing until you reach heaven?”

Perhaps you can see by now that work in its fundamental sense is not what we do FOR a living, but what we do WITH our living. And as Christian workers, WHO we are working for, and spending our life on is really the most important nuance.
Work for its own sake might be good. But it is actually a virtue?

We will continue to explore the virtue of work over the next two weeks, but for today let us close with a poem:

TRUE NOBILITY (by Edgar Guest)

Who does his task from day to day
And meets whatever comes his way,
Believing God has willed it so,
Has found real greatness here below.

Who guards his post, no matter where,
Believing God must need him there,
Although but lowly toil it be,
Has risen to nobility.

For great and low there’s but one test:
‘Tis that each man shall do his best.
Who works with all the strength he can
Shall never die in debt to man.

Whose work have you been called to do, and when have you been called to do it? Today we are reading a short poem, a Scandinavian folktale from which a lesson can be easily derived, and a wee dram of Scripture. As we introduce the virtue of WORK, I want to encourage you to each think about two things: WHOSE work have you been called to do? WHEN are you called to do this work?

Mr. Meant-To by Marva Collins

Mr. Meant-To has a comrade,
And his name is Didn’t-Do;
Have you ever chanced to meet them?
Did they ever call on you?

These two fellows live together
In the house of Never-Win,
And I’m told that it is haunted
By the ghost of Might-Have-Been.

Hear these famous words of Benjamin Franklin: “Work while it is called today, for you know not how much you may be hindered tomorrow. One today is worth two tomorrows; never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”

“The Husband Who Was to Mind the House” ~ a Scandinavian folktale

Once upon a time there was a man who was so bad tempered and cross that he never thought his wife did anything right in the house. One evening, in haymaking time, he came home, scolding and grumpy, and showing his teeth and making a commotion.
“Dear love, don’t be so angry. That’s a good man,” said his wife, “tomorrow let’s change jobs. I’ll go out with the mowers and cut hay, and you can mind the house at home.”
Yes, the husband thought that would do very well. He was quite willing, he said.
So early the next morning, his wife took a scythe over her neck, and went out into the hay field with the mowers and began to mow. But the man was to mind the house and do the work at home.
First of all he wanted to churn the butter. But when he had churned a while, he got thirsty and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale. He had just knocked in the bung and was putting in the tap, when he heard the pig come into the kitchen above. As fast as he could,
he ran up the cellar steps, with the tap in his hand, to keep the pig from upsetting the churn. But when he got there he saw that the pig had already knocked the churn over, and was standing there routing and grunting in the cream which was running all over the floor.
He got so angry that he quite forgot the ale barrel and ran at the pig as hard as he could. He caught it, too, just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a powerful kick that he killed it on the spot.
Then he remembered he had the tap in his hand. But when he returned to the cellar, all the ale had run out of the barrel. Then he went into the milk-shed and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for they had to have butter for dinner.
When he had churned a bit, he remembered that their milk cow was still shut up in the barn and hadn’t had a bit to eat or a drop to drink all morning, although the sun was high. It occurred to him that it was too far to take her down to the meadow, so he’d just get her up onto the roof, for it was a sod roof, and a fine crop of grass was growing there. The house was close against a steep hill, and he thought if he laid a plank across to the back of the roof he’d easily get the cow up.
But he couldn’t leave the churn, for his little baby was crawling about on the floor. “If I leave it,” he thought, “the child will tip it over.” So he put the churn on his back, and went out with it. But then he thought he’d better first water the cow before he put her onto the roof, so he picked up a bucket to draw water out of the well. But as he stooped over the
edge of the well all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulder and down into the well.
Now it was nearly dinner time, and he hadn’t even finished the butter yet, so he thought he’d best boil the porridge. He filled the pot with water and hung it over the fire. When he had done that, it occurred to him that the cow might fall off the roof and break her legs or her neck, so he climbed up onto the house to tie her up. He tied one end of the rope around the cow’s neck. He slipped the other end down the chimney and tied it around his own leg.
Then he had to hurry, for the water was now boiling in the pot, and he still had to grind the oatmeal. He began to grind away; but while he was hard at it, the cow fell off the roof, dragging the man up the chimney by the rope. There he stuck fast. As for the cow, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor up.
Now the wife waited seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call her home to dinner, but he never came. At last she thought she’d waited long enough, and she went home. But when she arrived home and saw the cow hanging there, she ran up and cut the rope with her scythe. When she did this, her husband fell down from within the chimney. When the woman came inside, she found him with his head in the porridge pot.
“Welcome back,” he said, after she had fished him out. “I have something to say to you, my dear.” And so he said he was sorry, and gave her a kiss, and never complained again about the work he was given to do. He learned to appreciate his own work, and also the hard work of his diligent wife.

Here is a lovely little video version at Around The Hearth:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMlFq-8Ng-o

Philippians 2:14-15
“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…”

Galatians 6:9
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”