Tag: Faith

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Grace Upon Grace

I was telling (okay, writing) a friend yesterday about our recent visit to The Grace Agenda conference, and what a blessing it was to go, get away, recharge. So I realized I ought to share my thoughts here as well.
The conference, and the days spent traveling & away in general, were such a blessing. We went down on Thursday just so we could swim at the hotel, eat out, and watch cartoons with the kids on “a real tv”! The kids still aren’t quite sure what commercials are, and get excessively frustrated about them. Cracks us up. After the two little kids were asleep on Thursday night, my dad took Gabriel swimming again and my mom offered to listen for the toddlers (we had connecting hotel rooms, so we left the doors open between them, and she stayed in her room), so Steven and I went out for a little date to our favorite coffee house pub called Bucer’s, where there was live jazz and lots of hustle-bustle. We were only out for about forty minutes, and it was a refreshingly fun time. Friday and Saturday were very busy days of conference sessions, coffee breaks, lunch with friends, a dinner double date with excellent friends on Friday (my parents watched our kids and took them swimming for us during that time), playtime with our children, a fantastic choir concert on Saturday night.
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The conference sessions didn’t hold much “new” to us in all honesty, partly because the teachers were people we have known for twenty years & also just partly because Steven and I have both been raised in the Church and have continued in the Church. But it is always good to go hear things we already know, to preach old truths to ourselves in new ways, to sit alongside friends for mutual encouragement and exhortation. It made us very thankful. Rachel Jankovic and Nate Wilson were (as usual) my favorite speakers, just because they are so engaging and witty, weaving incredibly solid truths into their speaking without leaving it dry like crackers. (And it’s just funny, too, because my brother and I were friends with them when we were in our teens; I remember one time specifically on a Sunday afternoon, playing disc golf with them and some other young folks at the University of Idaho, and there was plenty of good laughter.) But so much has happened and changed in the intervening 15 or so years.
On Palm Sunday we were overwhelmingly blessed to be at Trinity Reformed Church, to hear Toby preach, to see so many friends we hadn’t seen since last summer, to cry with another friend who just buried another son (a 16 week boy, they named Gilead), to have some friends want to talk and subsequently wanted to pray with me right then and there for joy and hope. So beautiful and humbling. We then went out for lunch with another young family (I’ve been friends with the wife for years, but our husbands had never actually talked, just briefly met occasionally and shaken hands, etc) before driving home on the Sunday afternoon in sunshine and rest and hope and joy.
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So yes. A good weekend. In so many ways. And here are a couple random pictures from a Saturday evening session (you can tell the kids had gotten tired by now!), and some quotes I managed to scribble down from a few of the talks.

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The rocky soil produces the sweetest fruit.
~Bekah Merkle~

 Weaker doesn’t mean inferior. Compare a crystal goblet with a 2×4!
~Nancy Wilson~

 Love God, love your neighbor, love your enemies—that covers it.
~Douglas Wilson~

 If women are not allowed to be a female glory, they will become a feminine shame.
~Douglas Wilson~

 Exile is a universal human condition.
~Timothy Edwards~

 Wisdom is a tame word, but it’s not a very tame thing.
~N.D. Wilson~

 Tell stories and live stories. Use the stories around you to inform your character and shape your narrative.
~N.D. Wilson~

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Courage literally means of the heart. Courage does not mean bold, brash, outspoken, adventurous. We need courage in areas where we are tested. Any strength that requires resistance requires courage. Courage is the form of every virtue once tested. It takes courage to ask God, and for contentment as you wait. Pottery can not do anything until it has gone through the trial of fire. After we are tested we too become capable vessels that can hold water. Patience without courage is untested and weak. Peace combined with courage is fierce—it’s like a guard dog. It’s a peace that fights things off. You can only have one master, when you have Christ as your Master, you will have courage over fear. John 14:7, Deut 31:6, Josh 1:9, Heb 13:6, Ps 23:4, Eph 6:10, Ps 118:6, Ps 27:14
~Rachel Jankovic~

Contented means a deep satisfaction with the will of God. He has made us, called us, and even created the good works for us. Be satisfied to be created second. Be satisfied to be created female. Be glad for the calling of men. Be overjoyed in who your husband and sons are called to be. Be satisfied that God called your husband to be your head. Be deeply satisfied to be your husband’s glory, crown, helpmeet. Be satisfied with being domestic and fruitful.
~Nancy Wilson~

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Prayers of Psalmody, for One Anothering

…as for me, my prayer is to You, O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of Your steadfast love
answer me in Your saving faithfulness.
Psalm 69:13

O Lord—my God, my Father, my King—God, Father, and King of us all. Please bend low to hear my prayer now, as I fall at Your feet. I come to You, asking You to show me how to love and serve and live by the light of Your grace in Your body, the Body of Christ. As I am faced daily with others—others who love You, serve You, belong to You—would you please teach me, show me, and enable me so that I can pour forth the heart of Christ into the hearts of His people.
My prayer is to You, O Lord, and I ask You to answer me in Your saving faithfulness because Your steadfast love is abundant.

Please, Father from whom all love flows in truthful abundance, enable me to love others, not by my own strength and might but by Your indwelling of the Spirit in my soul, pour Yourself out by Your loving grace through my thoughts, words, prayers, deeds, actions, and inactions.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER
John 13:34, John 13:35, John 15:12, John 15:17, Romans 12:10, Romans 13:8, Galatians 5:14, Ephesians 4:2, 1 Corinthians 16:14, 1 Thessalonians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 4:9, 2 Thessalonians 1:3, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 Peter 3:8, 1 Peter 4:8, 1 John 3:11, 1 John 3:23, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:11, 1 John 4:12, 2 John 5

Please, Father from whom there is no shadow or variation, enable me to show sacrificial kindness to others, not with words or speech only but with actions and truth.

SHOW KINDNESS TO ONE ANOTHER
Ephesians 4:32, 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Please, Father who is the one and only God of truth, enable me to curb flattery and lies, rather to act and speak according to the truth in love which You desire Your people to pour out upon one another and upon the world around us.

SPEAK THE TRUTH TO ONE ANOTHER
Lev 19:11, Zechariah 8:16, Malachi 3:16, Ephesians 4:25, Colossians 3:9, James 4:11

Please, Father who teaches and instructs and bestows honor perfectly, enable me to honor all those You put around me, above me, and under me, in accordance with Your will.

HONOR ONE ANOTHER
Romans 12:10, Ephesians 5:21, Philippians 2:3-5, 1 Peter 5:5

Please, Father who rights all wrongs and redeems all the brokenness of the world through Christ’s work and sacrifice, enable me to abstain from wronging others but rather to seek their good and to sacrifice myself for their blessing.

DO NOT WRONG ONE ANOTHER
Lev 19:11, Lev 25:14, Lev 25:17, Zechariah 8:17, Galatians 5:15, Galatians 5:26, James 4:11

Please, Father who dwells with the Son and Spirit, who perfectly bear our burdens and strengthen us for their weight, enable me to give of my soul and my strength to bear the burdens of others through prayer and action and true sacrifice.

BEAR THE BURDENS OF ONE ANOTHER
Romans 12:15, Romans 15:1, Galatians 6:2, Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:13

Please, Father of the Lord Jesus Christ who wept with His beloved friends over the death of their brother, who knows what it is to look upon pain and suffering, enable me to cry, mourn, grieve, and sit quietly with those around me who are weighed down by the sorrows of this life.

WEEP WITH ONE ANOTHER
1 Sam 20:41, Romans 12:15, 2 Corinthians 13:11

Please, Father who gives us both holy Scripture and Holy Spirit to be our encouragement, who places us in the Body of Christ for mutual support and stimulation in the faith, enable me to be an encouragement to others so that their countenances will be lifted and You will be glorified.

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Proverbs 27:17, Romans 1:12, Romans 14:19, 1 Thessalonians 4:18, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24, Hebrews 10:25

Please, Father of Paul the Apostle who specifically sought to exhort Your people, You who use the sword of Your Spirit to cut and hone our souls for Your purpose and Your Kingdom, enable me to rightly divide Your Word so that the words I speak and the prayers I pray would be an exhortation toward righteousness in Christ.

EXHORT ONE ANOTHER
Proverbs 27:17, Romans 15:14, Colossians 3:16, Hebrews 3:13, Hebrews 10:24

Please, Father of us all who welcomes us with grace and mercy, compassion and the shelter of Your protection, enable me to greet and welcome and embrace all who You put in my path, to the glory of Your name.

GREET ONE ANOTHER
Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, 1 Peter 5:14

Please, Father in the Trinity, who shares continual fellowship with the Son and the Spirit, enable me to imitate Your love and grace-filled fellowship so that I will build up the saints around me, and will be likewise built up by them, as we find opportunity to spur one another on to love and good works in the power of Your indwelling of us.

HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER
1 Peter 4:9, 1 Peter 5:14, 1 John 1:7

Please, Father who opens Your heavenly home to redeemed sinners, whose Son welcomed the poor and the marginalized, You who exemplify for Your people what it is to meet the needs of others, to pour ourselves out for the blessing of one another, to share our home and our possessions with people of all status and station, enable me to be hospitable with my words, my hands, my skills, and my home.

WELCOME ONE ANOTHER HOSPITABLY
Romans 12:13, Romans 15:7, 1 Peter 4:9

Please, Father for whom my soul longs and my spirit waits all the day, You who deign to patiently bear with my own weaknesses and frailties and stumblings, enable me to wait for others around me, so that I do not rush ahead in selfish greed, but rather come alongside others in the patient grace that You daily pour out upon me.

WAIT FOR ONE ANOTHER
1 Corinthians 11:33

Please, Father who is the God of peace, from whom flows all harmony and forgiveness, enable me to live at peace with all mankind, so that as far as I am able, Your peace and forgiveness dwells in me and flows through me to the point where I feel no animosity or jealousy, bitterness or unrest, and insomuch as I have influence, enable me to spread Your peace to others.

BE AT PEACE WITH ONE ANOTHER
Psalm 133:1, Mark 9:50, Romans 12:16, Romans 14:13, Romans 14:19, Romans 15:5, Galatians 5:15, 1 Corinthians 1:10, 2 Corinthians 13:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:13, 1 Thessalonians 5:15, James 4:11, James 5:9

Please, Father who delights over me with singing, enable me to sing not only to You in praise but to others for the sake of Your glory, for Your delight, for the proclaiming of Your sovereign goodness.

SING TO ONE ANOTHER
1 Sam 18:7, Ephesians 5:19, Colossians 3:16

Please, Father of all creation who loves to give good gifts to Your sons and daughters, enable me to use my talents and my resources to give to others, not selfishly but sacrificially and from the heart.

USE GIFTS TO BLESS ONE ANOTHER
Esther 9:19, Esther 9:22, Luke 3:11, 1 Peter 4:10

Please, Father whom we serve and whose Son taught us by example how to serve others as He gave His life a ransom for many, enable me to use the strength and skills and resources that You have provided me to serve others, as a good steward of Your grace.

SERVE ONE ANOTHER
Mark 10:45, Luke 3:11, John 13:14, Romans 12:13, Galatians 5:13, Philippians 2:5-7, 2 Corinthians 4:5, 1 Peter 4:10

Please, Father of forgiveness, abundant in grace and mercy, enable me to be humble in spirit so that I will not hide my sins or dwell in iniquity, but rather enable me to humbly confess my sins to those against whom I have committed wrongs, and enable me to gladly and unabashedly forgive those who likewise seek my forgiveness.

CONFESS YOUR SINS TO, & FORGIVE, ONE ANOTHER
James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 13:11, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, 1 Peter 4:8

Please, Father who hears our prayers and sees in secret, enable me to pray in private and in public as You give opportunity, so that I can pray both for and with those around me, to bring petitions and praises to You not only on behalf of myself but for the people You put into my life with their varied lives of joy and suffering, anxieties and sins, praises and gifts.

PRAY FOR/WITH ONE ANOTHER
Matthew 18:20, Acts 12:5, Romans 15:30, James 5:16

Our Father in heaven, who bends low to His children when we fall at Your feet, please hear the cries of Your child as I ask You to enable me to be a conduit of Christian grace to others, by the power of Your Spirit. Abba, Abba, Abba! Grant that I may glorify You in my interactions with those around me, so that Your glory will be magnified and Your Kingdom will be furthered on earth, where I await Your Son’s coming again where all will be made new, and Your people will see You—side by side—face to face.
For the sake of Your glory, Your power, Your Kingdom, Your honor, and Your Son~ amen.

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Easter Lessons

This year, we went out of our way to do a few more hands-on lessons and Easter preparations with the children. The older they get, of course the more they grasp ~ and it is delightful to hear their own 6, 3, and 2 year old sized insights into why we do the things we do.

On Good Friday, rather than doing our normal homeschooling routine, while the little ones had individual room time (learning to play on their own for a solid hour is a good skill to learn), Gabriel helped me clean the house. We washed windows, cleaned bathrooms, swept floors, mopped floors, did laundry, washed dishes, wiped down cupboards. And while we worked together, we talked about why we were working so hard, and why is this what we chose to do on Good Friday. When I asked Gabriel what he thought, he paused in thought, then profoundly said, “Well, today is the day we remember the whole reason why Jesus came. He came to clean our hearts. So I guess that’s why we should clean our home.” I wanted to just stop the conversation right there, and leave it at that ~ because my kid gets SO much of the Gospel story, and I love hearing his perspective on it. It’s beautiful. But we went on to talk about how Jesus served others, even though He was King of all. We talked about “our people” ~ and who are our neighbors. Gabriel even asked if he could wash my feet when we were done cleaning, because he wanted to bless me and serve me like Jesus.

But I hate to admit, I forgot about the feet-washing, because by the time we were done cleaning the house, the little ones were ready to be done with solitary playtime, and we needed to move on to the phase of dirtying things back up again. Funny how we do that in my line of work: we clean things up so we can make them dirty again!

So after a little lunch, Evangeline was ready for a nap, and the boys & I got out supplies for some crafts that would hold more lessons.

We had already dyed Easter eggs with Grandmama, Auntie, and cousins, complete with super sweet and thoughtful conversations about the metaphors, symbolism, and just plain fun of the tradition. My children and I have talked numerous times this week about the symbolism we can see in the eggs… how they symbolize the rock which closed the tomb, but new life can spring forth from it… how we can take plain eggs and give them new clothing, as we do when we take on new life in Christ… how the yolk in a cracked egg can symbolize the glorious light of Jesus’ resurrection from the dark tomb when He burst forth in glorious array…
Click here to read about Easter Egg traditions throughout the life of the Church, following the Lenten season. Even plain old Wikipedia had some great thought-provoking things about Easter Eggs, or Paschal Eggs. And for some fun nuances on Easter Egg traditions, click here and have some fun with the kids in your life.

Romans 6:4
We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death,
in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead
by the glory of the Father,
we too might walk in newness of life.

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Thanks to Ann Voskamp’s diligent sharing each and every year, I finally felt like my boys were old enough this year to really grasp & enjoy a couple more unique & detailed hands-on projects.

First we had a snack of nuts and figs, while we made a crown of thorns (using a small grapevine wreath and a few dozen coffee-stained toothpicks) and talked a lot about the events of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. Three year old Asher was nearly in tears (I love how his forehead crinkles and his chin quivers when he feels genuine sorrow), talking about Jesus being tortured, bleeding, and dying. He finally smiled again when I reminded Him that this was why Jesus came, and this is how He worked to save US from OUR sins. And in his sweet little voice, Asher proclaimed, “I sure love Jesus, Mommy.”

Matthew 27:29
…twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on His head…

Mark 15:17
…twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on Him.

John 19:2, 5
And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on His head and arrayed Him in a purple robe. So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe.

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Next we went out on to the back porch and put together our own little Gethsemane. Using a small moss planter (I used this, and don’t let the word “large” fool you!), we filled it with soil. Then we set our tomb carved in the rock in the corner of the garden (I found that aquarium accessories could offer some neat options, like this cichlid stone), before filling the rest of the garden with plants. We used some little succulents we got at a local store along with some pretty decorative moss, and then Gabriel used small smooth stones to make a little pathway through the garden to the tomb. Last of all, the boys went on a stone hunt outside to find something that would serve as a tomb cover.

John 19:41
Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.

Luke 23:55-56
The women who had come with Him from Galilee followed and saw the tomb and how His body was laid.Then they returned and prepared spices and ointments. On the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.

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On Good Friday, we used last week’s palm branches and our homemade crown of thorns to decorate our dinner table, when we ate lamb and roasted vegetables and matzo ball soup, along with the Seder plate with all  its elements and plenty of wine.

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Our kitchen island was cleared of all other decorations, and that is where we laid our own little Gethsemane. On Friday evening we closed up the tomb. On Saturday morning we found a little soldier to keep guard outside the tomb. And the children looked forward to seeing what would come of it on Sunday morning.

Matthew 27:59-60, 66
And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen shroud and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had cut in the rock. And he rolled a great stone to the entrance of the tomb and went away. … So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard.

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Come Sunday morning, the children came downstairs to find the guard fallen down, the stone moved away, and a piece of linen folded inside the tomb.

Matthew 28:2-8
And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it.His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow.And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men.But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.He is not here, for He has risen, as He said. Come, see the place where He lay.Then go quickly and tell His disciples that He has risen from the dead, and behold, He is going before you to Galilee; there you will see Him. See, I have told you.”So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell His disciples.

Luke 24:1-12
…On the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb,but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel.And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?He is not here, but has risen. Remember how He told you, while He was still in Galilee,that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.”And they remembered His words,and returning from the tomb they told all these things to the eleven and to all the rest.Now it was Mary Magdalene and Joanna and Mary the mother of James and the other women with them who told these things to the apostles,but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.But Peter rose and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen cloths by themselves; and he went home marveling at what had happened.

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They found a table set for a beautiful little breakfast. Fruit salad, hard boiled eggs with sea salt, mimosas, Easter story cookies, and Easter tomb rolls (the kids had helped me make those all on Saturday, which was really wonderful). Candles and music and the excited rush of gathering and eating and praising God together, singing Christ The Lord Is Risen Today. Gifts for each one at their place ~ books and chocolates.

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Once the morning feasting was done, it came time to don our Easter clothing (clothing is hugely metaphorical and meaningful in Scripture and the history of the Church) ~ even the Easter sermon mentioned this, because we had three baptisms during the service and these Scriptures were emphasized.

Ephesians 4:17-24
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!—assuming that you have heard about Him and were taught in Him, as the truth is in Jesus,to put off your old self,which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Colossians 3:12-17
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Galatians 3:27
 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

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And so we got dressed in new matchy-matchy clothes (and my heart ached in all the heaviest and bestest of ways, because I have been given a family to clothe, and children who can wear sickeningly matchy outfits!), and talked about putting on Christ, putting off our old selves, putting on the new self in newness of life and the beauty of holiness, putting on love above all other things.

And then? Then the party really started. Gabriel pointed out, “there sure is a lot of joy around church and everywhere today!” and I couldn’t help but laugh. Because isn’t that just exactly, precisely the way it should be?! May the joy of the gospel, and of the Resurrected Christ, and of the hope He has given His people, shed forth from your homes, your families, your churches, and your wanderings until He comes again and everything is made new and all is set right.

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To the glory of the Father, amen. Allelulia!

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The Light Shines!!

John 20:1
…it was still dark…

Darkness. I don’t know how long it has been dark, but it is still dark. I grope around trying to find my way, but I can not see any light. Even the early morning sky is a blanket of obscurity, stars hidden, moon unseen—dawn is not quite here. The garden is around me, lush things growing, dirt wet with morning dew, stones chilly at my touch. Everything hushed—quiet as death. The silence of grief is so loud.
We come with spices to anoint the dead, for He had been quickly buried. The weeping had been almost constant, yet eventually the tears give way to the empty feeling of what happens now? I feel lost, unable to see the One in whom I hope and trust. Is He there? If He is, what is He doing? I just want to see Him, touch Him, care for Him.

Psalm 39:7
And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You.

What happens in the dark womb? The lump of dough? The wine barrel? The pantry?
Children grow, yeasts multiply, sugars ferment, even potatoes and onions sprout in order to grasp for new life. Life happens—growth happens—in the darkness.

A quick word search shows that light + dark shows up in the ESV 68 times, with glorious encouragement to be found there! We quickly find reminders that God is the One who separates darkness from light (Genesis 1:4), who uncovers darkness and brings things to light (Job 12:22), He lightens our darkness (Psalm 18:28), the darkness is even like light to Him (Psalm 139:12), He is—in fact—the One who forms light and creates darkness (Isaiah 45:7) yet there is no darkness within Him (1 John 1:5). And Jesus, the Son of God, is the light of the world who can not be overcome by darkness, who came to overcome our darkness with His light!

But darkness fell on Friday, and grief overwhelmed Saturday because our light was buried in this cave. And now I can not see what is happening in the darkness.

John 1:5
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

In a moment, I see the dawn begin. Grace upon grace, the sky’s black blanket lightens to a dark blue, then a golden halo suddenly explodes in the east—first, a sliver; then, rays that reach and flame and glow and expose. On the horizon now is light. Slowly, the darkness dissipates—the entire sky lightens, which lightens our eyes, which reveals what we must see. Rub our eyes clear of their disbelief. Blink away the shock. The earth shakes, the rock moves, the tomb is opened. The light shines!

John 12:46
I have come into the world as light,
so that whoever believes in Me may not remain in darkness.

Come close, peer into the hidden place where darkness has held my Lord, expecting to see His dead body lying in the shadows, still and cold and dim—He isn’t here. Glancing around in the small light of early dawn that barely reaches into the depths of the cave, eyes adjusting to what they see and what they don’t see—eyes falling on a pile of grave clothes, eyes move to a folded piece of linen that was set apart from the rest. Where is the body of my Lord? Who left this pile of His hastily anointed wrappings? Who folded this linen, setting it aside? How could this happen in the pitch black darkness of a cold, dank cave that held nothing but death?! Angels speak—angelic beings before whom we quiver.

Luke 24:6, 8
“He is not here, but has risen.
Remember how He told you…”
And they remembered His words.

Scrambling, trembling, glancing around. Trying to rack our brains to recall what the Rabbi had taught us, suddenly remembering His words and piecing together what He had been teaching us all along.
The angels a beacon of hope for those who came to the tomb in hopelessness, sitting in darkness and weeping in the shadow of death—in our hopeless, dark, miserable, lost place, the angels of the Lord bring words of peace, messages of light.

Luke 1:79
[He gives] light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the way of peace.

We came in mourning, not knowing that the darkness of our grief would be lifted. We came to bless our Lord, not knowing that He was about to lift our burdens. We came before the dawn, and experienced the true rising of The Son—the glory of God surrounding us as the east brightened, the angels spoke, our eyes rested on the cloths in the tomb. Hope flickers once again in the hearts where despair had quenched, belief glints around the edges of souls earlier filled with doubt.

2 Corinthians 4:6
 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts
to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

We long to do something, to care for someone, to do something tangible to make sense of our overwhelming intangible grief—so we come to the tomb to anoint, to finish with the fragile care of grieving women what had necessarily been accomplished so quickly by the strength of men two days before. And now not only in our humanity, but also in our femininity, the angels tell us of the risen Son—give us the job of going and spreading the news—engage us in the act of resurrection by arming us with Truth and filling us with Hope. We came in the weakness of distress and leave now in the strength of peace. The sky is bright now, the dew begins to dry and the birds begin to sing morning songs, as our feet swiftly carry us to the disciples—we sing and we cry and we wonder and we run! We are given the gift of sharing the hope and the light, of telling His disciples to meet Him in Galilee. And the hope that had died in our souls when He was crucified is rekindled now, in the faith that we are soon to see Him again, face to face.

Daniel 2:22
He reveals deep and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness,
and the light dwells with Him.

Like the women who first knew of Christ’s Resurrection, we too have been given the gift of sharing the light of Jesus which God reveals—the light of the knowledge of the glory of God—when we look to Jesus Christ as our Savior. He took away our darkness, has borne our sin, shows us the light that dwells with Him and lightens our lamp. Because He lives, and because His light can not be extinguished, we may now live in the light, rejoice in the light, hope in the light, trust and rest and believe in the light—where even our shadows and our hidden places are known, seen, forgiven, loved, and redeemed.

He is Risen indeed!

Psalm 18:28
For it is You who light my lamp;
the Lord my God lightens my darkness.

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Rest & Wait

Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there (John 19:41-42). They rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb (Mark 15:46) and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard (Matthew 27:66). And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment (Luke 23:56).

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And so today on Saturday,
the day between the darkest death and the brightest resurrection,
we too rest.

And we wait.

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Saturday… Waiting… Where is My Hope?

Job 30:26
But when I hoped for good, evil came,
and when I waited for light, darkness came.

Hope is a double edged sword. Walking through Holy Week, we think along the lines of so many events… It’s so busy! Jesus Christ rode into Jerusalem while His people worshipped and called hosanna, He cleansed the temple and taught His people, He is betrayed by one who is unfaithful, He is perfumed by one who is faithful, He gives thanks even in the presence of His betrayer, He hands out bread and wine to His followers, He prays in solitude, He is captured and taken away, He is scrutinized and condemned, He is taken before leaders and stood before multitudes, He is burdened in every imaginable way, He is stripped and scourged, He is hung and nailed through, He cries out, He is forsaken, He bleeds, He dies, He is taken away, He is buried in the dark tomb…

Now what?

The time between death and resurrection feels so dark, so empty, so long. What is happening in this day between Friday and Sunday? What are we to do as we sit outside the tomb? And what is our Lord doing in the darkness, the cold grips of death?

I was asked to guest post for Olive Tree Bible Software’s blog this weekend, so to continue reading, click here…

And click here to see what my husband wrote a couple days ago as he shared with us a remembrance that the Lord’s rejection ultimately lead to our acceptance in the Beloved.

Ephesians 1:3-10
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth.

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He Bottles our Tears

Have you ever been comforted by this Scripture,
knowing that your tears are not overlooked,
and they are not even simply dried,
but they are bottled by the Lord our God?!

I know I have.

He keeps an account of our tossings, our wanderings~
He keeps our tears, as precious~
He writes these things in His book~

What a comfort to know that our sovereign Father is so magnanimous
that even the tiniest things are so incredibly precious to Him.

One thing I have done recently is make tangible little reminders of this
for those who are enduring suffering, grief, countless tears.

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(If you too would like to have tangible reminders like these, you can either contact me to make you some, or you can stop by next week for a detailed picture tutorial.)

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A Little Bit Broken

A little bit broken.
That’s how I feel on my best of days.

Rough around the edges. Stained on the inside—and sometimes on the outside. Cracked here and there, a chip or two gone missing. Things leak out, sometimes because I spill them and sometimes because I am incapable of holding them in.

A chipped teacup with some leftover flecks of dried out tea leaves nestled in the mar—parts of my story that rest mostly in these shadowy cracks. Add some water, swirl me around, and you will see my beauty mixed with my pain. Which parts are the most lovely is difficult at times to ascertain. The dark bits swirl around, and eventually settle on the bottom. Take a sip, drink the water—it is flavored by what came out of the chips & cracks that had been hiding, but it is the water that carries it to your tongue and that flows into you and satisfies the parts of you that were longing to be quenched.

I am useful despite my imperfections. Perhaps all the more because of them.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

 

The Lord meets me in my brokenness and comforts me. And then He gives me the ability—the empathy—to reach out from my own chippy cracks to meet others in this same place and comfort them. He gives Himself to me in a measure that is truly immeasurable, and then He makes my cup overflow so that I can give a measure to someone else. We pour into one another, often from the lip and more often from the cracks.

Sometimes I wish I were a perfectly kept, shiny, whole teacup without stains and chips, no hidden leftover tea leaves and no cracks threatening to leak little drips or big splashes. It gets messy—I like tidy. But I trust in the Lord my God, who created me to be His vessel, and He holds my broken self in His loving hands even now. (Psalm 31:14, 12, 15) Who is it that made me? Who cares for me? Who numbers my days and has already prepared the good works that I shall do? God my King, the Potter who forms us in His clay—who creates us, molds us, changes us, uses us, and even chips us—as it seems good to Him. (Jeremiah 18:3-4)

When I remember these things, I am reminded and comforted—all over again—that sometimes it is the chips and the stains that bring Him the most glory, that do the most to reach His people, that give me opportunities for greater good for the Kingdom, that make me useful and beautiful at the same time.

I am not meant to be left on a shelf. Beauty does not mean untouched, unchipped, unstained, unused. I am meant to be used for His glory, poured out for God’s people—after all, I am made in Their image, I came from clay, but I am a reflection of Him who poured out all of Himself for His people (Isaiah 53:12), and in the little ways He has prepared for me, I imperfectly image that pouring, that dying, that bleeding & brokenness. And that imaging and imitating is perhaps the most beautiful of all fragile things.

 

Brokenness doesn’t automatically bring us to the thin place,
the sacred place where God’s breath and touch are closer than our own skin.
Heartbreak brings us lots of places—
to despair, to bitterness, to emptiness, to numbness, to isolation.
But because God is just that good,
if we allow the people who love us to walk with us
right through the brokenness,
it can also lead to a deep sense of God’s presence.
When things fall apart,
the broken places allow all sorts of things to enter,
and one of them is the presence of God.
~ Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet, p94~

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Exercise of Faith in Suffering

Though the fig tree does not blossom,
and no fruit is on the vines;
though the produce of the olive fails,
and the fields yield no food;
though the flock is cut off from the fold,
and there is no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will exult in the God of my salvation.

God, the Lord, is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
and makes me tread upon the heights.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

I know this passage. I know it well. I have memorized it. I have memorized a couple different song versions of it. I have sung it in church before. I have clung to it through years of trying to have a baby but finding the blossoms & the fruit failing. I have used it as a frequent reminder that regardless of my physical situation, my soul’s stability remains unshaken — my joy and my strength being grounded in the One who created the mountains and the trees and the animals, storylines and climaxes and rainclouds, life and laughter and suffering and me.

But until last week, I don’t think I had ever gone to the length of putting my own fears, my own troubles, my own sufferings and shadows and dark corners by the means of words into this form.

“Though the _________________________________________________ and there are no ___________________________, though the ___________________________________________ fails and the ___________________________ produces no ___________________________________, though there are no ________________________________________ in the __________________________________ and no __________________________________ in the ____________________________, yet I will rejoice in the Lord….”

 

So when Mr. Palpant suggested, at our final Lenten lecture meeting last Wednesday, that we fill in these blanks according to the story we are each currently living, I might have (okay, I did) melted into a puddle of weeping at the table in the back of the room. Boy, did it ever hit home. In good, painfully sharp & cutting to the bones, Christ-be-with-me kinds of ways.

In your own path of suffering, of doubt fighting with hope, of walking with the Lord on the heights as well as in the valleys, passing by both sunshine and dark shadows ~ what would your own version of Habakkuk 3:17-19 look like?
This is what I came up with that night, and what the Lord has challenged me to claim with joyful confidence rather than with fear every day since.

Though the miscarriages continue to come and there are no more living children for my arms to hold, though the medical treatments and the prayers for life fail and the pregnancies God puts in my womb produce no more little redheads to nurse on my breasts, though there are no end to the longing in my heart for my family to grow in the home God has given us here on His earth and no more siblings for our children who beseech the Lord for babies in the beauty of their own childlike faith, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and makes me tread upon the heights.

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Hosanna in the Highest!

All glory, laud, and honor to Thee, Redeemer, King!
to whom the lips of children made sweet hosannas ring.
Thou art the King of Israel, Thou David’s royal Son,
Who in the Lord’ name comest, the King and Blessed One.

All glory, laud, and honor to Thee, Redeemer, King!
to whom the lips of children made sweet hosannas ring.
The company of angels is praising Thee on high;
and we with all creation in chorus make reply.

All glory, laud, and honor to Thee, Redeemer, King!
to whom the lips of children made sweet hosannas ring.
The people of the Hebrews with palms before Thee went;
our praise and prayers and anthems before Thee we present.

All glory, laud, and honor to Thee, Redeemer, King!
to whom the lips of children made sweet hosannas ring.
To Thee before Thy passion they sang their hymns of praise;
to Thee, now high exalted, our melody we raise.

All glory, laud, and honor to Thee, Redeemer, King!
to whom the lips of children made sweet hosannas ring.
Thou didst accept their praises, accept the praise we bring;
who in all good delightest, Thou good and gracious King.

Ride on, ride on in majesty! Hear all the tribes hosanna cry;
O Savior meek, pursue Your road with palms and scattered garments strowed.

Ride on, ride on in majesty! In lowly pomp ride on to die.
O Christ, Your triumphs now begin o’er captive death and conquered sin.

Ride on, ride on in majesty! The host of angels in the sky
look down with sad and wondering eyes to see the approaching sacrifice.

Ride on, ride on in majesty! Your last and fiercest strife is night.
The Father on His sapphire throne awaits His own anointed Son.

Ride on, ride on in majesty! In lowly pomp ride on to die,
bow down your meek head to mortal pain, then take, O Christ, Your power and reign.

Yesterday in worship, I got to say my son’s name a lot. Hosanna. His name means save Lord and is a cry to the only One who can save to the uttermost. The service began with the choir, pastors, and dozens upon dozens of children processing through the sanctuary with palms in their hands while we all sang to the Lord of His glory and honor, lauding Him with our praise. We cried out to Him beseeching Him to save us! And since we are on the other side of the story, we know with confidence that He is the Savior! He has saved us! He did triumphantly bear our sins and conquer death, saving us from the holds of those shackles! Amen!

But we are still in the midst of the story.

I sat there with my family, in the midst still of our own story of asking the Lord to save and preserve and give us life in place of death…
In front of us was a family whose daughter suffered a terrible cancer some years ago, and the Lord preserved her precious life, and there she sat with parents and siblings, with health glowing in her cheeks and hair and the saving presence of the Lord spilling from her eyes as she sang…
In front of them sat a family who buried another son this very week, the Lord saved Gilead by ushering him to heaven, and now He saves this family every moment by upholding them even in the midst of horrible grief…

I cried repeatedly.

Suffering everywhere I looked. Sometimes already redeemed. Sometimes not yet.
It is hard to wait for the redemption, and wonder whether we will see it here in this life, or whether we will be yet waiting to see it in the next.

And then the sermon came. And Pastor Sumpter spoke on hope & joy.
He said, so much of joy is bound up in hope.
How painfully, purely accurate.

Jesus came to restore the places where suffering and despair have reigned.
He came to save.
He came to give us hope.
~Toby Sumpter~

And so as we begin to walk through this week leading up to Easter, where we consciously focus on the work of Christ in His final days, I am also focusing on His current work even now as His Spirit continues to save and give us hope.

Romans 2:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

This week, I will be reminding myself day by day to be joyful even when I don’t know the end of the story. Because that is why Christ came. I rejoice in hope ~ and this hope is not bound up or settled on the things of this world. This hope in which I rejoice is bound up and settled on the glory of God. And because of this, because of God’s glory, we can rejoice fully! Even when suffering comes. Even when endurance is necessary. When character is tried, tested, affirmed.

This hope is not foolish. Hope that is grounded in God’s glory will not put us to shame. He died for me. So that I could have hope. So that I could rejoice. So that as I remind myself of these things this week, walking toward Easter, I will remember the joy and the hope along with the suffering and the grief. It’s the dichotomy of living the Christian life. May He give us the strength and peace to glorify Him this week through all of this.

We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
~Toby Sumpter~