(…continued from Aletheia, part five…)
The second truth we will consider now relates to how we can help our husbands. This truth is that, as godly wives, we are called to both ponder and pursue virtue—and this, my friends, is a great help to a husband.
“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-11
That is an extremely familiar passage for many Christian wives, but it is something which ought to be deeply pondered as well as broadly known. First of all, it says “a virtuous wife”—but what is virtue? In 2 Peter 1:5-8, we see the exhortation; “giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
This tells us that if we are faithfully increasing in these things mentioned by Peter, the result is that we will be rooted and fruitful in the knowledge of Christ. What better endeavor could there be for Christian women? Our goal ought to be to grow in our faith and love for God, and through those avenues we will grow in good works. So back to the question of virtue: a virtuous woman is a woman who exhibits godly character traits, because virtues are qualities that God’s Word defines for us. Of course some virtues may fall out of favor with the world because unbelievers can call evil good and good evil. A modern dictionary simply defines virtue as “conformity to a right standard” or “moral excellence.” For us, God’s Word shines the light of truth! In Philippians 4:8, we read that “if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Virtue is obviously praiseworthy, and we are commanded to focus and fill our mind with it. So we can see that we are to think about virtue as well as pursue it.
And underlying all of this, we must remember to be keenly aware that without the grace of God, none of our labor is worth anything. Our pursuit of holiness, our quest for virtue, is all of grace or it is all for naught. It is of primary importance for us to know and remember that He is the One making us fruitful. 1 Corinthians 15:10 says, “but by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.”
Indeed, I can see why a virtuous wife would be so invaluable. I can see why the heart of a husband could safely trust in a virtuous wife. I can see that her fruitfulness in virtue would overflow to keep him from lacking gain. A virtuous woman would purpose to do good to her husband and to avoid sinning against him.
So in the twenty verses which follow in Proverbs 31, while it does not list out virtues by name, it does describe the characteristics which a godly wife could seek in her quest toward growing in virtue.
What qualities come to mind when you think of the word “virtue”?
Fruits of the Spirit maybe, Purity, Holiness, Chastity, Obedience, Diligence, Contentment, Prudence, Wisdom, Humility, Courage, Kindness, Loyalty, Gratitude, Patience, Domesticity… this is clearly not an exhaustive list. But it is a starting point.
What qualities do you see in Proverbs 31 specifically as you read through 31:10-31? What words would you use to describe her? Going straight through the twenty-one verses in this passage, this is the progression I could see at a glance:
Valuable, Valued, Trustworthy, Productive, Good, Industrious, Resourceful, Diligent, Hospitable, Generous, Savvy, Practical, Strong, Fit, Thoughtful, Confident, Attentive, Creative, Compassionate, Courageous, Prepared, Artistic, Innovative, Respected, Respectful, Capable, Honored, Preparing, Organized, Rejoicing, Wise, Kind, Observant, Blessed, Admired, Godly, Fruitful, Rewarded.
I don’t know about you, but I am simultaneously humbled and have my sails filled by that list. And I think it is a good reminder about two things specifically. One, how broad my calling is—how I could never hit the apex in an entire lifetime—so I ought never have an excuse of growing bored or stagnant. And, two, how narrow my calling is, because I am not called to be all these things to all people everywhere—rather, I am called to be these things right here, at home, with my people, amidst my community.
So this second truth about who we are is that we are called to be virtue-seeking wives. We are called to ponder and pursue virtue, godly characteristics laid out for us throughout Scripture. This is an incredibly vast nuance, covered with a wide lens, not a zoom. Thankfully, we each have the rest of our lives to “add to our faith, virtue.”
(…continued in Aletheia, part seven…)