Sunday May 9, 2010

Psalm 113
Praise the LORD! Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD!

Blessed be the name of the LORD
from this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the LORD is to be praised!

The LORD is high above all nations,
and His glory above the heavens!
Who is like the LORD our God,
who is seated on high,
who looks far down
on the heavens and the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap,
to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the LORD!

I have learned that Mother’s Day is beautiful and bittersweet. The sweetness is lovely and fresh. But the bitter side of it comes from losing my children. From not being able to hold them. I know so many people who have lost their mothers or lost their child(ren) or who have broken relationships with their mother or child(ren). These are people for whom Mother’s Day is especially difficult. And I know women who are infertile; women who desperately desire to be mothers, but who struggle to conceive precious babies. I know unmarried women who desire nothing more than to be married, so they can devote their lives to serving a husband and children.

Who knew that silly little Hallmark holidays could bring such pain and anguish into peoples’ lives? Well, I do.

Did you know that Mother’s Day was created originally by a woman who was not a mother, in order to honor her deceased (and bereaved) mother?? Here’s the story behind it. Interesting how the holiday has changed over the years, but also interesting to see where it originated.

Anyway… my husband bought me some beautiful lilies, made me breakfast in bed, and has the table all set because my brother’s family and my parents are coming over for dinner after church ~ and the gentlemen are making the meal! How delightful. 🙂
Today I get to hold my sweet little boy on my lap. And I get to caress my sweet seventh baby from the closeness of my womb. And I have the beautiful knowledge that five of my covenant children are rejoicing in Heaven, all because they went from the comfort of my womb to the peace of God’s mansions. I get to visit with them in worship in about two hours ~ where my husband and I will sit in the heavenlies with our seven descendants yet again.

So I am prayerful and thankful and joyful!!
And eager to worship this morning with that attitude. Bittersweet or not. 🙂

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to my mother, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, and my friends.
May the Lord bless you in these beautiful & difficult efforts.

Saturday May 8, 2010

So tonight’s dinner is cozy: I’ve got my big ol’ crockpot simmering away full of ground turkey, onions, beans, corn, tomatoes, and lots of spices — it’s going to be cozy & comforting chili. Yum.

But last night I did a fancy dinner.
Homemade French onion soup (a first for me & so worth it) and French chicken roulade — with a side of green beans leftover from last summer’s garden.
So delicious!! I got to use thyme and chives from my herb planters too, which made it really feel like spring.


Thursday May 6, 2010

Well, Gabriel’s birthday is coming soon ~ and yesterday I finished making one of his birthday gifts. A Quiet Book, made from felt. I had a lot of fun coming up with ideas for each page, and figuring out how to accomplish what I had envisioned in my head (or had seen online in random places). I considered buying a pattern, but am very glad I didn’t. It worked really well for me to just experiment and play it by ear. I never really ran into any big snaffoos, which was pretty handy. Thanks to my mom’s well-stocked craft room & handy sewing machine, as well as my neighborhood Jo-Ann’s & my own crafty prowess… I am ready & willing to show y’all the final result. 🙂 This was a really thrifty (and fun!) project. If you have any questions, ask away!

Cover: For all of the pages I used “craft felt” from Jo-Ann’s, which came in 8.5″x11″ pieces. It is stiffened, and great for this type of craft. I used embroidery floss to “write” on the cover. I put three eyelets in the side of each page, and then put cording through to bind them together. If I ever wanted to add more pages, it would be super easy. I have a closure on the side of the book, using a ribbon & a buckle. Buckles happen to be Gabriel’s current fetish, so even if he isn’t fond of the rest of the book, he will love that buckle. 🙂

Page One: four zippers. Every toddler loves zippers, and my son is no exception. These were random old zippers from my mom’s collection (she inherits craft supplies from practically everyone!)
Page Two: match the color/shape. Each shape is outlined with Sharpie on the white background in the same color as the felt shape, and they are attached with velcro. The velcro isn’t as quiet as I hoped… but oh well. 🙂

Page Three: pocket o’ animals. Gabriel loves pockets, and putting things in & out. My mom had this super cute, old material that was easily cut into squares, with each square having an animal on it. So there are five double-sided squares in here, stiffened, and attached with elastic – so you can pull on them & play with them & take them out & put them in… but they will not get lost.
Page Four: The ladybug has a zipper, and inside there are three (you can see two of them here) baby ladybugs to play with. These are not attached, so they could get lost.

Page Five: a mitten that will easily fit a child’s hand inside. And the little rip-cords are just for fun. I also used fake fur for the cuff of the mitten to add some fun texture.
Page Six: wacky pants with a nifty belt! Another type of buckle that Gabriel will really enjoy. The pants are flannel for another texture.

Page Seven: modern art type puzzle. 🙂 Similar to page two, where each shape is outlined in Sharpie on the background, and the pieces are attached with (not-so-quiet) velcro.
Page Eight: rocket flying to the moon. Steven and I love this page – it’s our second favorite. The craters on the moon are buttons, as are the other little planets/stars. The felt rocket is attached to a piece of elastic, and it can be moved up & down the elastic as though it is rocketing straight to the moon.

Page Nine: flower field. The three flowers in the middle have buttons for their centers, and they can be removed from the buttons (and could easily be lost; maybe even ripped, since I did not zigzag around the buttonholes).
Page Ten: barn on the farm. This, perhaps you can tell from the number of pictures, is our favorite page. 🙂 If you’ve ever read the kid’s book “Barnyard Dance,” you’ll know why “Oink Moo Cockadoodle doo” is funny. 🙂 The barn doors open up to reveal three animal finger-puppets (ooh, I hope these don’t get lost), which are super fun. I have to admit, even I could be kept quiet & occupied for a while with this page!



Page Eleven: one, two, buckle my shoe. That’s actually what I am going to write next to the shoes, but forgot to do it. 🙂 The dress shoe is for lacing, the mary jane has a snap, and the tennis shoe has two velcro flaps.
Page Twelve: a bunch of balloons! The ribbons are kind of fun, but the best part is that the pink, orange, and yellow balloons snap on & off (again with the getting-lost possibility).

Back Cover: I pilfered a sweet label from my mom’s stash. 🙂

Happy Birthday Present to Gabriel! (ssshhhh, don’t tell him what I made!) 🙂 lol.

Tuesday May 4, 2010

I finished reading Womanly Dominion during my infusion today, and wanted to share some bits with you all.

The Lord bless you!

Excerpts from Womanly Dominion: More Than a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

By Mark Chanski

The false stereotype of a Christian woman being a helpless and frail mouse, who passively shades herself under the parasol of her soft femininity, and adoringly waits for her husband to do all the heavy lifting, is shattered by the Scriptures. (p 13)

[H]er jewelry is not only the necklace of “a gentle and quiet spirit,” but also the bracelets of “strength and dignity.” (p 13)

Men and women alike” are both called to subdue and rule in the various spheres of their lives. (p 15)

It’s absolutely and wonderfully true that women are rightly designated in the Bible the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7) who are to display a “gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4). But such soft and tender qualities do not tell the whole story. There’s much more to the challenging mission assigned to the godly woman by her Maker, Redeemer, and Lord. (p 15)

Womanly dominion is a blessed virtue, as urgently needed in our day as manly dominion. (p 21)

Godly women, made in the image of God, must repeatedly remind themselves, “Play your position!” They must loyally resolve to stay at their God-assigned posts, to the glory of God, despite the shouts from the misguided cultural sidelines. (p 22)

[E]very image-bearing man and woman is obligated to imitate his/her Maker in his own miniature world. Each is assigned a lifelong plot of wild earth that he/she is to stake out, cut down, plow up, plant, and harvest. We must aggressively subdue, and not passively loiter. (p 29)

[A] woman is to dominate aggressively her environment, rather than allow her environment to dominate her. (p 31)

Children are introduced not merely as a preferential option but as a holy obligation. (p 32)

Fruitfulness varies in its manifestation among different plants. A fruitful grape-vine will sport many, many clusters of grapes. On the other hand, a productive pumpkin vine may only generate four or five pumpkins. A farmer is very thankful if a single cornstalk produces two ears! Fruitfulness will vary from womb to womb, family to family. Revelation, providence, liberty and wisdom must be conscientiously blended. (p 32)

God’s procreation mandate assigns to man and woman the sacred obligation to make the earth swarm and teem with image-bearing creatures. (p 33)

God’s fetching glory for Himself is the chief purpose for mankind and womankind. (p 33)

What is the mightiest strategy for influencing the world unto God-glorifying good? It was unveiled in the Garden of Eden. “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it.” Women of dominion who give their lives to the bearing and nurturing of God-fearing offspring are the power brokers of the earth. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world! (p 37)

Procreation summons a woman to an extraordinarily God-glorifying enterprise; and godly women of dominion have a peculiar eye toward it. How can she effectively subdue and rule the earth? She can best accomplish it by taking seriously her creation mandate. (p 38)

For a woman who rejects the mind of the world and puts on the mind of Christ, it is counted a great honor to follow in the submissive footsteps of the servant-hearted Son of God. (p 40)

Sure, [women of dominion] will encounter pain and thorns and thistles in the process. Sure, they’ll need to exercise Herculean discipline and self-denial. But the wonderful final-day revelation will leave them with no regrets. (p 47)

[L]adies, consider yourselves warned. The Liar takes a special pleasure in whispering into your pretty ears. You are darling targets for his dart-like wiles. (p 48)

[The enemy] detests a woman on a mission, subduing and ruling her life to the glory of god with a dominion mindset. Such mighty women are a great threat to his dark kingdom. So he continuously slithers across your path, and with subtlety, persuades you to reject your positional loyalty and your win-it tenacity. (p 49)

Women of dominion trample serpents under their feet (Psalm 91:13). (p 52)

Consider the excellent wife of Proverbs 31. Her most striking trait is the fact that she is so utterly selfless. (Proverbs 31:12, 13, 14, 15, 27)… And what does such selfless, servant-hearted, help-meeting get her? Is she oppressed and abused? To the contrary, her husband is crazy about her! He’s convinced she’s one in a million, …worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her.” And he tells her so: “Her husband…praises her…” (31:28). He brags about her to his friends… His children honor and praise her… (p 55)

Stay-at-home mothers may be underpaid, but they’re certainly not underchallenged! (p 59)

Peter does highlight a specific strength in Sarah, namely, her subduing and ruling over her fears. This is a fundamental battle for any woman. Panic attacks are a common affliction in stressful times. Sarah is a heroine worthy of imitation, for instead of fretting and surrendering, she managed to “hope in God” and “do what is right without being frightened by fear.” (p 64)

What fearful heart piercings loving mothers must endure! They pour their hearts into their children. Then they must helplessly watch, sometimes from tear-drenched pillows, their darlings run the gauntlet of a wicked and cruel world. Godly mothering isn’t for cowards! The same is true for godly wifing. (p 65)

Fear is the most strangling emotion known to man or woman. (p 73)

We must be men and women of dominion, boldly making decisions on the basis of our duty, obligation, and opportunity, not on the basis of our fears and insecurities. (p 74)

There’s a time for a woman to resignedly sit back and wait for the Lord to change her husband’s mind. And there’s a time for a woman to assertively rise up and take matters into her own hands. Abigail knew how to tell time. (p 77)

Abigail also knew how to remain sweet. A besetting sin of many women is sharp-tongued argumentativeness. (p 77)

Furthermore, understand that it’s not only Nabals who need Abigails. Davids need them, too. Men “after God’s own heart” often need their women to step in front of them when they’re charging down a mountainside to do something they may later regret. (p 78)

Faithful and loving counsel is a stock element of a God-honoring marriage. An Abigail-like wife is woman enough to deliver it. A David-like husband is man enough to receive it. (p 79)

What mission could be more meaningful than being an excellent wife alongside a mighty man of God? (p 82)

Practical womanly dominion without devotional womanly dominion can easily deteriorate into atheistic enterprising. (88)

Such atheistic enterprising is the very thing we do if we put our hands to the daily plow without taking time to pray and plead for the help of God to establish the work of our hands. (p 88)

Devotional consistency requires practical creativity. (p 88)

Be definition, motherhood is that dignified and strenuous life vocation taken up by a woman who has resolved to give herself fully to the task of nurturing godly children from a godly home environment. (p 98)

[S]tay-at-home mothering did not culturally evolve from the influence of heavy-handed men; it was sovereignly ordained by the decree of our good heavenly Father. (p 99)

Mothering is a profoundly sanctifying vocation which cultivates the graces of love, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control, selflessness, humility, dependence, prayerfulness, and joy as none other. (p 101)

Motherhood is an honorable and sacred vocation. The King of Heaven has specially appointed the mother to accomplish a noble and lofty mission. Though some shrill voices in our dimwitted society may belittle her occupation, she should press on in her duties with her head held high. She’s about the King’s business. (p 101)

How does a married woman with children forge a noble reputation in God’s eyes? She hammers it out on the anvil of sacrificial mothering. She gives herself wholly to the sacred mission of nurturing God-fearing children, from a spiritually healthy home environment. (p 102)

The cream, and not the dregs, of her energies and time are to be poured into her loving her husband and children from her household headquarters. (p 103)

A homemaking mother is not merely a conservative and anachronistic option, but a God-ordained and sacredly instituted vocation. (p 105)

Homemaking motherhood is no refuge for the inept woman who can’t cut it in the real world. Rather, stay-at-home mothering is the ultimate profession for the elite of her gender. (p 108)

Those motherly hands are molding characters which will become men and women who will turn the world upside down either for good or for evil. Now that’s a job that counts. (p 108)

What could bring more joy to an aging woman than to have her children rise up and call her blessed by their walking in the faith? What could bring more joy to a glorified woman than seeing around the heavenly throne a multigenerational crowd of her maternal influence? (p 122)

It requires great courage, strength, resourcefulness, savvy, wisdom, and heroism to rear up children to the glory of God. (p 123)

Not only is the unborn child the most unprotected and endangered species on earth, but our born children are suffering gross neglect upon their arrival into the world. (p 124)

Because of a dedicated mother’s exceeding value to the good of society and the kingdom of God, the forces of darkness have aimed their big guns against her. (p 124)

Your mission, dear mother, is not to make your children happy, but to prepare them for eternity. (p 127)

A woman of dominion will strive to maintain an orderly household. An overgrown yard, ransacked rooms, and a sink stacked high with dirty dishes do not glorify the God who loves things being “done properly and in an orderly manner” (1 Corinthians 14:40; also numerous Proverbs). (p 139)

Let go of your right to personal leisure. (p 140)

I’ve not be commissioned at this stage in my life to enjoy leisure, but to be a father. My goal is not to raise low-maintenance children, but lion-hearted ones. (p 141)

Motherhood is much like Savior-hood. The Lord Jesus needed rest and a vacation but was compelled to do otherwise. (p 141)

Resolve to raise your boys to be men. (p 144)

Train your sons to face obstacles head on, work hard through thorns and thistles, and “find a way” to get jobs done. They need to become bread-winning providers in a cursed world. (p 144)

Mothers must lionize their sons by dignifying them with their respect. (p 145)

Cloak your son with a big jacket of respect in his childhood, and he’ll seek to grow into it in his manhood. (p 145)

Are we directing and equipping our daughters to be godly helpmeets and mothers or independent career women who loathe wifehood and mother hood? It’s very possible to unwittingly do the latter by haphazardly sending them into the heavy current of today’s educational system and youth culture. (p 147)

I desperately need a wife who is well-educated, well-read, precise thinking, culturally aware, financially shrewd, and theologically mature. Such a wife is a potent force of inestimable value in the lives of her husband and children. (p 149)

A college education can go a long way in training a young woman to be an excellent helpmeet and mother. But she needs her mother continuously at her elbow. (p 149)

Ultimately, it’s God’s sovereign grace, and not a mother’s faithful diligence, that saves and sanctifies her children. (p 150)

Hannah’s wonderful experience inspires ladies to believe that the Lord peculiarly cups His ear to motherly women who cry out to Him with wet eyes and distressed hearts (1 Samuel 1:9-11, 27). God remarkably responds to such pleading women. (p 152)

Biblical love isn’t primarily a feeling or an emotion. It’s fundamentally not a noun, but a verb. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Love is not a sentiment, but an action. It’s not something you feel, but something you do. (p 163)

Men love to be perceived as heroes and dragon slayers. We love to rescue damsels and be admired for our chivalrous feats. (p 169)

Yes, we men are easily captivated by our brides’ looking beautifully feminine and acting flirtatiously sweet. Did I say flirtatious? That is an important variable, too. (p 174)

[David the psalmist] was emboldened like a lion, not by convincing himself that his fears would probably never materialize. They might! Rather he calmed his soul by meditating on the covenant love of his God. (p 184)

When put to shaking by the hobgoblins, dragons, and dreads of the black valley, the Psalmist doesn’t flee into the fantasy of denial, but boldly ventures down to confront them. “I fear no evil.” (p 185)

Experience with God’s faithful shepherding in dark valleys makes the most delicate of women, as bold as lions. (p 191)

[An empty nester] remains a mother to her grown children who are slugging-it-out in the trenches of young family life and a grandmother to a newly hatching generation. An available and servant-hearted mom and grandma is an incalculable windfall. Furthermore, the church of Christ can be mightily empowered by older women who pour their time, energies, and wisdom into the ministries of their local congregations. (p 225)

Monday May 3, 2010

I read a few Samuel Rutherford quotes today, and this one particularly blessed me:

I dare not say but my Lord Jesus hath fully recompensed my sadness with His joys,
my losses with His own presence.
I find it a sweet and rich thing to exchange my sorrows with Christ’s joys,
my afflictions with that sweet peace I have with Himself.

And a couple of Amy Carmichael poems, including this sweet gem:

And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Until it be according unto mine?
But no, Lord, no, that never shall be; rather,
I pray Thee, blend my human will with Thine.
I pray Thee, hush the hurrying, eager longing;
I pray Thee, soothe the pangs of keen desire;
See in my quiet places wishes thronging;
Forbid them, Lord; purge, though it be with fire.
And work in me to will and do Thy pleasure;
Let all within me, peaceful, reconciled,
Tarry, content my Well-beloved’s leisure–
At last, at last, even as a weaned child.

I am continuing through “The One Year Book of Hope” — I am just beginning a section on Angels, and am looking forward to that.
I have also started “A Grief Observed,” and will soon share some of my favorite quotes/excerpts.
Lastly, I am about to finish reading “Womanly Dominion” — always good to be reminded of my beautiful role as wife, mother, sister, princess, and homekeeper for God.

Saturday May 1, 2010

Today, May 1st, is the official launch date for a new website/project I have been helping with over the past few months. My involvement has largely just been reading emails, voting on polls, and shooting ideas around with more than a dozen other bereaved mothers. When I was first asked to be part of this new project (as the RPL expert — RPL means Recurrent Pregnancy Loss), reaching out to and supporting bereaved parents, I wasn’t sure why we would need one more website out there like this and what I could possibly do to make a difference. I have been part of two online forums over the last fifteen months that have greatly impacted me (one Christian, one secular) as well as used me to impact others, but wanted to know what would be different about this site. I think the key difference may be the level of personal involvement. It isn’t just a forum or chatroom where bereaved parents can find five minutes of camaraderie with others in similar grief. In fact, at this stage anyway, there is not a forum function for Grieve Out Loud at all.
What can be expected from Grieve Out Loud is an opportunity to learn from others’ stories and experiences. Parents who have lost a baby (from miscarriage, stillbirth, or postnatal death) will share their own stories, be your penpal as you work through your own grief, give book reviews to help you narrow down what book may be the most encouraging for you, send you a care package, help you find links for other sources, and be there for you in a way that many other people simply can’t be — because everyone putting an effort into this site is also grieving their child(ren).
The site is called Grieve Out Loud, serving as a reminder that grief should not be bottled up, hidden, or forgotten. Grief should be lived, breathed, spoken, heard.
If you think of it, please pray that my part in this project would be a blessing to others. I am sharing “my story” there, as well as submitting my “Miscarriage Etiquette” and a book review. I don’t know when these things will be posted on the site, but please pray that the Lord would use my input for His glory and for someone’s encouragement. It isn’t a solely Christian site, but all input I share is overtly Christian: please pray that this would impact people (when they are at their lowest, most broken) for Christ.

May God be glorified through my part in this project.

Thursday April 29, 2010

Between an awful cold and trying to pop through his last two-year molars, my poor little boy is one unhappy critter. After a dramatic lunch, we colored with crayons, read some books, and I was about to get him a movie to watch (I was looking forward to cuddling up on the couch with him!) — when I walked into my room to get the laptop, and this is what I found.

I don’t think he had been in there (this is in our room, next to Steven’s bedside table) for more than two minutes while I was cleaning up the crayons in the other room. I guess he was so sleepy, he could fall asleep anywhere!
So cute. 🙂

Sunday April 25, 2010

Our quiver has grown again, by the grace of our loving Father. Little Seven is now growing inside my womb. Please pray with us that this baby would be nurtured and kept safe from all harm. Please pray that Seven, who belongs to the Lord, would grow up into a godly man or woman for the Kingdom of God. Please pray that this tiny redhead would be a vital olive shoot around our table for years to come.

Please pray for us to believe in God’s promises; to wait for Him; to be strong in Him; and to have courage.

PSALM 27:13-14

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

Saturday April 24, 2010

Steven and I were very blessed to attend a conference at one of our sister churches, about raising our children to face the future, full of faith and unafraid. The speakers were Doug and Nancy Wilson. The sessions were incredibly encouraging and convicting. What a blessing!! Lots of talking about loving our children, educating them, and disciplining them rightly. It was so excellent.
I’ve typed out some of my bullet-point notes, and hope you may glean some blessings from these as well. I may elaborate more on a couple of these points in the near future. Although, really, you should just order the cds of the conference to get the full measure of blessing. 🙂


  • The promises of God for the Kingdom are fulfilled over the course of generations, but more to the point, they are fulfilled by generations.
  • Proper eschatology gives us an arc of time, so we know where we are and where we are going. Since God’s promises are fulfilled over time, Christian child-rearing and education are intimately related to eschatology.
  • God is the Master Storyteller.
  • Comedies tend to culminate in a wedding — so does the Bible.
  • Covenantal mercy (i.e. in Psalm 103) is not a reward for being a perfect parent.
  • These promises are given to us by grace.
  • Generational connectedness = history.
  • You are  bringing up eternal beings.
  • Repetition in parenting does not mean you’re failing! God repeats Himself all the time! (Have you ever read Proverbs?)
  • In contrast to our feeble existence, the mercy of the Lord is not feeble. (Psalm 103:13-17)
  • Child rearing is generational training.
  • Things we do now matter forever.
  • God set eternity in our hearts; we are supposed to get the big picture.
  • One of the ways God grows us up into maturity is having us raise others up into maturity.
  • Are you training your progeny to be leaders or followers?
  • You want loyalty from your kids, not cookie cutter response.
  • The Law doesn’t grow you into maturity (alone) — grace does.
  • Respond to your kids the way God responds to you.
  • Over time sin matures; obedience matures; righteousness matures.
  • Young children thrive in an environment of strict, loving, predictable, and enforced discipline.
  • The only way your covenantal influence will extend over generations is if your biblical standards are internalized.
  • You don’t just want your kids to follow the standard, you want your kids to understand and love the standard.

  • All your parental efforts must themselves be ground in God’s grace, appropriated through faith.
  • You can extend grace to your children because you are a non-stop recipient of it (Eph 2:8-9).
  • If you don’t have a solid grasp of God’s sovereignty, you will parent in fear.
  • Godly Christian parenting looks an awful lot like hard work. But take into account God‘s strength and His enabling grace.
  • Grace accumulates, grace multiplies, grace grows richer & deeper.
  • It is grace to grow accustomed to grace.
  • The Scriptures are all of grace. The world around us is all grace. The breath in your lungs is grace, and the warmth of your feet right now is grace. The children around your table are grace. Receive them as grace, and give to them as grace.
  • Faith the size of a mustard seed in the right object (God) is enough — enormous faith in the wrong object (anything else), however, will not get you anywhere but disaster.
  • When your faith is weak, don’t take it out and look at it — it will grow weaker. Look to Christ. Look outside yourself and your circumstances.
  • Pray with big faith in your big God; don’t use escape hatches in your prayers (i.e. “if it be Your will.”) This is not praying with big enough faith. Ask big of Him.
  • When you’re motivated to discipline, you aren’t qualified; and when you’re qualified, you frequently aren’t motivated.
  • Motivation to discipline must come from another source than annoyance (i.e. your own obedience to God’s commands, and an overwhelming love for your children).
  • Grace is an everlasting waterfall with no top, no bottom, no sides, no front, and no back.
  • What is the thing that makes life hard? A misunderstanding of grace.

  • Psalm 127’s reference to children as arrows is not cutesy — it shows us that children are weapons. They go with us against the gates of Hell.
  • You want to bring up children who will stand with you in the gate.
  • Having more weapons (children) is not the point — having excellent weapons is.
  • Academic work is preparation for life, and preparation for life is a character issue.
  • The most difficult sins to see are the ones you thought were your virtues.
  • You need to raise kids with three qualities in mind: Loyalty, Courage, and Content.
  • Hard teaching produces soft hearts; soft teaching produces hard hearts.
  • School is boot camp — not the war.
  • You must shape and steer your child’s soul and spirit, not break it.
  • Love your children to pieces — this secures their loyalty.
  • Put them in situations where they can fail — and teach them what to do when they fail, how to get back up.
  • Courage is secured by sending your kids out.
  • Courage is not a separate virtue, but the testing point of all the virtues.
  • One of the principal glories of education is learning how to throw down with biblical standards and in biblical ways.

  • Mothers must put on honor, strength, integrity, and courage in order to smile at the future. (Proverbs 31:25)
  • Worry is not limited to motherhood. As women, it is our tendency. We must have faith instead of fear.
  • God suits our afflictions to the needs of our souls.
  • God is going to give us tests over the material He is teaching us. But His tests are all open book!
  • God loves to bless us in our children and grandchildren. (Psalm 112:1-2)
  • We give our children to God even before they are conceived, and we continue to give them to God.
  • Our children are to grow up knowing who they are. Not only blood family, but church community. Who are their people?
  • As far as your earthly ministry goes with your husband, your central and first priority is always your kids.
  • Emphasize to your children that they come first (not before the marriage relationship, but before other relationships, before the laundry, before your hobbies, before your perfect house, before your perfect schedule). Let them know they are your priority.
  • We are raising up the next generation, and that is so much bigger than we can see.
  • We must view our home as an oasis for our husband and children. It must have an aroma of grace and fresh bread.
  • We want our children to grow up in a place that is friendly to them.
  • A worrisome mother will either become repellent to her children, or just plain ruin them.
  • Be mindful not to instill fearfulness into others. Encourage instead.
  • Doubts and fears don’t have answers.
  • Learn to distinguish between the voices of the Devil and the Holy Spirit.
  • Get to know your vulnerabilities so you can control them.
  • Pray preventatively. Strengthen the walls that are weak in your city.
  • Dress yourself in submission to God and to your husband.
  • Do not engage fear. Ignore it. Don’t let it in when it comes knocking — it’s hard to evict once you let it in.
  • God never gives us commands without the means to do them.
  • Leave your children an inheritance of joy: memories, stories, integrity, Sabbath tables, laughter, forgiveness, humility, grace, etc.

  • The duties of a godly parent are profound and challenging.
  • Parenting is completely dependent on the grace of God (like everything else).
  • Parents should love mercy.
  • Mercy is principled, tough, courageous; not lazy, slack, or relative. Mercy is mercy!
  • You can correct your kid because you love him too much to let him grow up that way (the right reason), or you can correct your kid because you’re annoyed and have a headache (the wrong reason).
  • When we stumble or offend little ones, we are refusing to let mercy triumph over judgment. (James 2:13)
  • Faithful parents = full of faith parents.
  • Christ is the fulfillment of all the promises in the Bible. His coming fulfilled God’s faithfulness to generations.
  • Promises to parents are based on the unchanging character of God.
  • Psalm 102:25-27 doesn’t tell us what God can do, but what He will do. This is based squarely on His unchanging character.
  • Parents should always desire to be like God in their relationship to their children. But when we think to apply this, we gravitate to what we think God is like instead of what God reveals Himself to be like.
  • Keep life simple. Keep the rules simple and easy to memorize.
  • Don’t multiply opportunities for disobedience.
  • Reduce the number of commands you issue by about 90%, and then enforce all those commands. Don’t exasperate your children. Remember their frame.
  • A parent who disciplines effectively is refusing to allow his child to make himself unlovely.
  • Discipline is corrective, and it is applied for the sake of the one receiving it. It is not punitive, and it is not rendered for the sake of the one giving it.
  • Discipline, rightly understood, is not an exception to the rule of delighting in your children, it is a principal expression of it.
  • All who love, discipline (Proverbs 13:24). But it does not follow from this that all who discipline, love. A child must grow up in, be surrounded by, and be nourished in, the love of God revealed for His people in the Word Incarnate and the Word revealed. This is the context in which godly child-rearing occurs, and outside of which it cannot occur.

Friday April 23, 2010

from Sketches of Home, by Suzanne Clark

Mourning Into Dancing,” p 125

This is the third spring that mourning doves have nested in the ivy on the sill of my pantry window. Each time I reach for soup I see a dark, wet eye regarding me. Her mate the woodwind keeps watch in the nearby holly tree, his throat rolling the same glum notes over and over as she sits on her somber eggs. I sing to her, too, my old standby for doves, “The Indian Lullaby.”

The dining room window gives an even better view of the nest. After a couple of weeks the female will start picking away, and then there will be these two extra heads and a lot of shifting around and the father on whistling wings coming to spell her. It isn’t much of an exaggeration to say that a day or so later the young will be nearly grown and crowding with their pear-shaped mother into the saucer. Shortly afterward comes the moment I see the nest is empty, and there on a holly branch sit the four, docile as cows.

Drab as they are, the mourning doves do something extraordinary. The young perform a sort of dance with their wings, draping them over their parents who in turn give them regurgitated food. It seems sacramental, this adoring and feeding that overwhelms native sorrow and arrests me in the act of dusting chairs.