It’s that time of year again ~ October. The month where everyone wears pink for breast cancer awareness. The month where I think of my mother in law, as well as my best friend’s mom, who both are survivors of that horrible cancer! But it’s also the month for pregnancy and infant loss remembrance. Even with all my twelve babies, I have never had a due date in October nor have I ever had a delivery (of a living child or a miscarried child) in October. But there’s October 15th right smack in the middle of the month. And that is a day that I claim as mine. Ours. A day when I don’t feel shy about my nine little babies in heaven. When I light candles to remember their light, to wear pink & blue in their honor, to let off balloons in remembrance of their ascents into heaven (and as a tangible thing for their brothers and sister here on earth), to speak their names more frequently than I normally might.
So this is the week. And while I am feeling of fewer words this year in my grief than in some years past, I will at least be sharing some pictures and some quotes in honor of October 15th for Pregnancy And Infant Loss Remembrance Day ~ in honor specifically of Covenant Hope, Glory Hesed, Promise Anastasis, Peace Nikonos, Mercy Kyrie, Victory Athanasius, Hosanna Praise, Heritage Peniel, and Fidelis Se’arah. These are the children the Lord has given to me ~ God has been good to me. Amen!
If the only thing you have to offer is a broken heart, you offer a broken heart. So in a time of grief, the recognition that this is material for sacrifice has been a very great strength for me. Realizing that nothing I have, nothing I am will be refused on the part of Christ I simply give it to Him as the little boy gave Jesus his five loaves and two fishes—with the same feeling of the disciples when they said, ‘What is the good of that for such a crowd?’ Naturally in almost anything I offer to Christ, my reaction would be, ‘What is the good of that?’ The point is, the use He makes of it is His blessing.
~ Elisabeth Elliot ~
I believe deeply that God does His best work in our lives during times of great heartbreak and loss, and I believe that much of that rich work is done by the hands of people who love us, who dive into the wreckage with us and show us who God is, over and over and over.
~ Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet, p94 ~