It still hurts. Stings. Aches. Burns. Suffocates.

It still hangs on the wall in empty photo frames. It still sings from the arrows in the quiver in the office. It still lies in the empty bassinet. It still seeps from the unworn baby clothes.
It still cries from my vacant womb. It still shouts from my empty breasts. It still shrieks in negative pregnancy tests and unwanted monthly cycles.
It still dribbles into my veins on injection needles and iv pokes. It still chokes using pills and potions. It still pours back out of my veins into rubber topped tubes.

It still surprises me with floods of tears. It still weakens me with its strength. It still frightens me with its depth.

It still steals my hope.

It still enhances my longing. It still grows my desire. It still builds my passion.

It still tears me down while it still builds me up.

It still remains a part of me.

Still, it always will.

6 Replies to “Still”

  1. Melissa~ I am praying for you. I am so sorry that your sorrow has not turned into dancing yet. My prayer for you is that the Lord will comfort you and turn your emptiness into fullness of His joy.

  2. I just had a good cry after reading that. It was beautifully written and can fit so many areas of life. I needed that right now – thank you, Melissa.

  3. Even out of the depths of sadness and grief, your writing is beautiful Melissa.
    *hugs* and prayers. Can’t wait for that beautiful day in heaven for you and all of your babies.

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