Thursday November 5, 2009

I don’t know what to write because I don’t want to put the words in concrete.

We don’t understand what happened.
But the baby is gone.
Oh God, help me.
His heart was beating this morning. For pity sake, we saw it with our own eyes!!!!!!
He looked so healthy and beautiful!!
God, why would You DO that?!

And somehow while I was lying down this afternoon, holding him closer than anything, he died.
God, aren’t You LISTENING?!

I know I wanted to hold you in my hands, but not now. Not today.
Oh God, not today.

Our hearts are broken.
Our faith is crushed.
Our strength is gone.
We feel forsaken. Completely.

His little body is so beautiful.
From his little eyes pits to his tiny legs.
He would have been so handsome.
God, why did you take him from our family?! We LOVED this child!

I don’t think I can keep breathing.

8 Replies to “Thursday November 5, 2009”

  1. Oh Melissa.I am so so so sorry.  I don’t even have the words.  My heart is hurting for you guys so much right now.  Your sweet little child. You love him SO MUCH, God loves him too, remember that.  I know things must be so hard to think on right now, you must feel numb.  But please just remember, no matter how hard, He DOES know your heart, sees your immense pain, and also He sees the big plan from the whole picture that we don’t have access to, and has a purpose for everything, no matter how hard.  I love you and will be praying for you through the night.  I hope these words will not be seen as hurtful… because I don’t know what you are going through from the perspective of one who has walked that path, but I do know the love of a mother and even the thought of losing just one of my babies is too painful to comprehend.  I am hurting for you so much.  Hugs and prayers, Dearie.

  2. I just want to encourage you, dear friend… in your previous post, you wrote out this verse — My heart is steadfast O God, my heart is steadfast.
    I will sing and make music.
    I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
    I will sing of you among the peoples.
    For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
    your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
    Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
    let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 57:7-11.

    May I encourage you to continue singing and praising God, even in the most difficult, heart wrenching times?
    I’m telling you this, with no experience in this area at all (myself) bur I would want you to come to me with this reminder, if I were ever in this type of heart ache and sorrow.

    Remember God loves us and does what He knows is the very best for us. And, He cares for and loves our children more than we ever could. I hope that’s encouraging to you.

    In the meantime, cry, sob, ache and weep for your little one. And know that we’re all praying for you.

  3. Oh Melissa!  I am so sorry for your loss!  I don’t even have words for you, but I think that is okay.  Just know that I have love and prayers for you and your family.  

  4. Melissa, my heart is crying for you right now!! I just posted on my blog about rejoicing through trials, it seems like this was a hard week for a lot of my friends. God is in control and He plans only the best for us even though in our finite minds we can’t understand. Hold onto His perfect promises…He IS faithful.

  5. Why? is something we all ask at some time in our life, but surely never really more than at a time like this. So uncomprehendable. So gut wrenching and heart breaking. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and weep with you.
    I cannot understand, I admit I have never been at the place you are now at. But my prayers for your comfort and healing will be continuing.
    With all my love,
    Jaclynn

  6. I can’t help by ask “Why, why, why” Lord? Why did you give hope and then take it away?

    Perhaps we shall never know here on this earth. We may never comprehend the answer but God knows. He knows best and He is in control.

    I am praying and grieving and weeping with you all. I just wish I could be there in person for you. I wish I lived closer and could come by and cry with you and just BE with you. Just because it may help. I don’t know what to say or do but cry and pray.

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