Words

I have so many words running in circles in my head. So many things that need written. Thankfully I have started journaling occasionally again. Mostly just about family life, because I figure that’s what one of my children or grandchildren might find fun to read about someday; or it may be the kind of thing I need to read when I am old, especially if I grow lonely or senile or if I am tempted to forget any of these amazing testimonies of God’s faithfulness. I need to be able to see clearly these beautiful ebenezers that God has set up for me. So I try to write them down.

Ecclesiastes 9:17
Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard
Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools.

I have new writing responsibilities for a new online ministry coming up. It’s something that is launching in April, but I have a bunch of preparatory work in the meantime. So posts about my life as a mommy-after-loss, and as a pregnant-after-loss woman, are likewise spinning in my head. I need to take the thought and time to put them down. I need to cover these thoughts and ideas with prayer, and see what the Lord would do with these words for His glory and His Kingdom.

Proverbs 18:4
The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;
The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook.

I speak so many words throughout a day. I am trying to take not only my thoughts captive but also my words. As I’ve been studying Genesis using this book (I’m leading a small women’s Bible study twice a month), grace and Gospel are just such enormous, recurring themes. Today we studied Genesis 6, and what really struck me was how God reacted to the incredible darkness and sin (the thoughts of man’s heart was only continual evil, 6:5 says). Scripture doesn’t say that the wrath of God was kindled (although truly that would have been just), it says that He was grieved. Oh, Lord, that You would cause my words to reflect that kind of grace! When I see sin, oh that You may cause me to be grieved for the sake of Your glory, rather than angry for the sake of my own ease & pride. So I am praying for words to speak and write that would be seasoned with grace; that things would not end with hard words from my mouth, but that I would have the Christlikeness to always bring it back to grace and the Gospel. Because that’s what God does, and I am called to imitate Him.

Psalm 119:172
My tongue shall speak of Your word,
For all Your commandments are righteousness.

I read words at an alarming pace these days. Of course being a mom of little ones, and being a homeschooling mom to boot, that’s a big part of my calling. And then it’s also a major part of how God grows and strengthens me as His child: I am begging for meat to chew on so that my spirit would be nourished, and I’m so thankful for His gifts of the written word. As I seek to challenge and encourage my soul by reading blogs and books and Scripture and letters and hymns and psalms, I know that I need to be discerning and wise. May the Lord grant me that discernment and wisdom, so that I would be filled with Truth, and so that blessings from God would not only flow into me but fill me to overflowing so that that is what I would then spill onto others.

Proverbs 16:20
He who heeds the word wisely will find good,
And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.