Creating Memories, III

Another installment in the conversation on creating memories for our children, see the intro, part I, and part II, as well as memory quotes & a sidebar on grace. And now I will tell you briefly a little of some hows & whys behind a few of the overarching qualities that we seek to pursue in our family culture. A lot of them are interwoven, with joy and grace being the essential threads tying them all into one tapestry ~ the tapestry that we call our home & family life.
Don’t forget to share your own thoughts on the subject in the comments, so we can make it a real conversation!

CREATING MEMORIES, III
how we pursue creating a general family culture
of music, fun, joy, laughter, delight, grace & forgiveness

~music~
As a musical person myself, I have sought to teach my kids about music and singing from the womb. I have grand visions of incorporating music and singing into every meal, like a regular liturgy. 🙂 Not sure that is actually realistic, which is probably why I have only managed to accomplish such things in short spurting seasons thus far. I have dreams of our children all learning various instruments, and someday having a little family folk band together. They will all learn piano first (well, they learn singing first! then piano is their first non-organic instrument…), and then have access to our other stash of instruments (harps, Irish hand drum, guitar, handbells), and then eventually would be able to choose instruments of their own (once they are old enough to be diligent, and have a good foundation with piano and singing, we will love to hire teachers and rent instruments of each child’s choosing). Beginning this year, we get the pleasure of introducing our children to a week-long summer day camp of music camp, and we could not be more delighted at being able to give our kids this opportunity! (Only one is old enough so far to actually attend, but they’ll each get there with time…)
We always have music playing on the cd player throughout the day, and what we call our bedtime serenades is something I will share with you soon. We sing when we tuck the kids in, too, and I try to work with the kids on other songs during the days (when I remember to do it).
It would be an enormous blessing (and honestly a huge success in my eyes) if my children were to look back on their childhoods as being regularly seasoned with music.

 

The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located
will betray us if we trust to them;
it was not in them, it only came through them,
and what came through them was longing.
These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—
are good images of what we really desire;
but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols,
breaking the hearts of their worshipers.
For they are not the thing itself;
they are only the scent of a flower we have not found,
the echo of a tune we have not heard,
news from a country we have never yet visited.

~C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory~

 

~words~
Our children love singing, reading, writing, & of course (oh do they ever!) talking. I hope our children remember words in their childhoods being seasoned with grace. I long for them to remember our conversations being filled with kindness and humility (and yes, I hope they will forget the times when my words are flavored with harshness, cynicism, and selfishness). I want them to remember singing amazing songs and reading fantastic books and writing to wonderful people. One of my great desires for my little bibliophiles is that words would continue to grow them, shape them, mold them, give them delight, increase their wisdom, and create memories of stories—both their own and otherworldly. I want them to love words, understand words, and use words for building kingdoms and building up of souls.

 

I want my kids to learn firsthand and up close that different isn’t bad,
but instead that different is exciting and wonderful
and worth taking the time to understand.
I want them to see themselves as bit players,
in a huge, sweeping, beautiful play,
not as the main characters in the drama of our living room.
~Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine, p98~

~laughter~
I want my children to remember their childhoods as filled with laughter. The carillon that comes from an absolute overflow of utter delight!
Our rooms are literally ringing with it throughout the day, and as the kids get older, I don’t want that evidence of joy to diminish but to grow and deepen. I would love for laughter to be a hallmark of our family’s love for one another and delight in being together. It doesn’t take much to get these little people rolling with chuckles on the floor, but I confess that I have a long way to go in growing in my own laughter. I am far too serious, and I hope that the Lord will have mercy upon me in giving me more laughter as time goes on—so that my children will see my wrinkles someday as laughter lines rather than stern lines. This is my hope, and I need to make it my prayer.

 

Parenting in grace is not parenting on the basis
of your own consistent gospel-centeredness.
It is just the opposite.
Parenting in grace is parenting on the basis
of Christ’s consistent perfections alone.
~Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson, Give Them Grace, p163~

~forgiveness~
I suppose above all else, even above an atmosphere of utter joy itself, is that I want my children to remember their home as a place where forgiveness was both sought and given wholeheartedly. There is nothing that is too big for God’s grace and forgiveness, because as His children Jesus paid the ransom for it all. I want that to ultimately permeate and override everything else in our home, family, routine, desires. Only by God’s grace can that happen, so that is what I pray for, yearn for, endeavor to inculcate in our home & in our people. From the fount of forgiveness all other graces can then pour, for without the peace that flows from forgiveness, joy and laughter and music and grace-filled words would just be empty shells.

Only humility, only transparent confession of our great need,
will result in the grace we so desperately need
to parent the little fellow sinners in our home.
~Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson, Give Them Grace, p165~

Sharp Regard

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At the root of many a woman’s failure to become a great cook
lies her failure to develop of a workmanlike regard for knives.
~Robert Farrar Capon, The Supper of the Lamb: a Culinary Reflection, p56~

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Properly edged and skillfully used,
a cleaver will prepare whole meals without the assistance of another knife.
But it does more.
It bolsters your ego as a cook.
Parting chickens with aplomb, you begin to believe you really might make it.
And so does everyone else.
A woman with cleaver in mid-swing is no mere woman.
She breaks upon the eye of the beholder as an epiphany of power,
as mistress of a house in which only trifles may be trifled with—
and in which she defines the trifles.
A man who has seen women only as gentle arrangers of flowers
has not seen all that women have to offer.
Unsuspected majesties await him.
~Robert Farrar Capon, The Supper of the Lamb: a Culinary Reflection, p61~

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Blessed is the woman whose husband surreptitiously touches up her knives
It may cost her a few surprise cuts now and then, but they are a small price for perfection.
Thrice blessed, though, is the woman who does the job herself.
~Robert Farrar Capon, The Supper of the Lamb: a Culinary Reflection, p61~

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enjoying life & its offerings

[M]ake the most of dinner time in particular by creating an event of it.
Don’t allow it to be just throwing food down the hatch.
Enjoy the time, enjoy the food, and
enjoy our fellowship together as a family.
~Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics, pg215~

There are one thousand ninety-five meals a year that we as home managers are responsible for…
For those one thousand ninety-five mealtimes that your family sits down together to enjoy,
be encouraged that God will help you in your efforts.
Food, presentation, etiquette, and conversation direction are responsibilities
we need to take seriously as the matrons of our homes.
We must give thought and plan for these times during the day.
In planning meals, it is important to realize that these are times that the
family is gathered together around the table sharing, talking, and enjoying each other
and the food set before them.
~Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics, pg282~

 If you’ve never been able to summon fervent interest in nutritional breakdowns,
you will find a companion here.
And if you are one of those who has dined with such enthusiasm
that nothing could stand in the way of sheer enjoyment,
you may find that you’ve enjoyed not gluttony,
but the fullness of life and its offerings.

~Deborah Madison, in her preface to Supper of the Lamb~

Keeping our home, Together

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Do not sigh while you are washing the dishes. Do not have a pity party, and do not teach your children to act this way, because they will learn from your example. If you work cheerfully and use the time well, you will teach them to enjoy their work too!
~Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics, pg215~

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Some find the idea of working with children impossible. This is a wrong perspective to have. Children do not need constant entertainment and play. They need to be learning from you. Even on big project days, they can and should be learning from you. With the right attitude from you, they will learn that work is satisfying and fun. You just need to plan carefully to make the process conducive to learning and fun.
~Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics, pg291~

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Managing the kitchen well makes everyone’s time in the kitchen more productive and enjoyable. When the kitchen is well-kept, creativity flourishes.
~Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics, pg282~

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Lower your expectations and realize that as long as we all choose to walk around clothed, the laundry will never really be finished. If we live fully in a home, there will be messes. Why does that surprise us and make us feel guilty? As long as we eat, walk, and need places to sit down, the kitchen sink will have a few dirty dishes in it and the living room will never be clutter-free for long.
~Myquillyn Smith, The Nesting Place, p50~

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More of this!

Can I ever be fed, and need no more food?
Can I ever sleep and need no more rest?
Can I ever feel my wife beside me as we watch
living, eternal, laughing things we were used to create,
and not want to see them again tomorrow?

~N.D. Wilson, Death by Living, p61~

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leading a wee army

You are as much serving God in looking after your own children,
and training them up in God’s fear,
and minding the house,
and making your household a church for God,
as you would be if you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of hosts.

~C.H. Spurgeon~

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Spring Cleaning…

At least in theory, I want to do some spring cleaning. Certain things need to be done: the flower bed needs a little help before sunshine does its thing, the hose needs brought out, the Christmas lights need taken down, the porches need swept off, and the outdoor furniture needs a good spray & wipe. Other things would be a good idea: washing all the windows, thoroughly cleaning the kitchen, giving curtains & bedlinens a good washing, making sure the pantry & other storage areas are well-ordered & well-stocked. Other things sound like brilliant ideas but are probably not realistic in my here & now: wiping down all the wooden trim in the house, dusting lightbulbs, anything that requires scrubbing with a toothbrush, etc. In my dreamworld I would love some more trim up in the house, especially so I can add some curtains to a few more key rooms: but again, not certain that this is the year that will get accomplished, and that’s totally okay. It is good to know what things should be done, what might be icing on the cake, and what is not realistic for me right now with where God has us today. 🙂

So right now I’ve got my oven self-cleaning, the coffee maker and the dishwasher each running a vinegar rinse, and I cleaned the sink with a good borax soak earlier while I took the kids to the library & out for lunch.

I have great plans to throw some other things in the dishwasher and washing machine as the day goes on… and perhaps I will get the kids involved in helping me do some spring cleaning/prep outside on the porches this evening.

I love to have an organized and tidy home (if not always clean in that “spotless” sort of way… I mean, I do have little kids and live in the country, after all!), not because I want to be fussy but because I want to pursue a good balance of beauty & functionality. I want my home to be a place of rest and refuge for my family, and also for our friends.

So what are YOU doing to freshen up your home this spring? How do you get the whole family involved? What things do you find worth doing versus unnecessary? And how do you make sure you stop spending too much time glancing around the internet for ideas, and actually get off your bum to accomplish some of the said tasks?! 😉

Uniquely Wrapped

So we bought a dozen bottles of wine to give as some gifts this year, and I was trying to figure out an interesting way to wrap them. Not that using a wine bottle sized/shaped gift bag from the Dollar Store isn’t good enough (because it is!), but I thought perhaps I could do something a little more unique, and maybe even more economical or useful, if I really thought hard. 😉

So this is what I came up with.

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I found these two different fun ideas for wrapping wine bottles with fabric (here and here), and found that each could be accomplished on a normal sized wine bottle using a very economical flour sack kitchen towel (and each has a handle for carrying the bottle, which would be really handy if giving them out at church or whatnot). I am still trying to figure out which wrapping version I like best, and also what I want to do for gift tags (right now I’m playing around with paper bags, red & white baker’s twine, and jute webbing)…

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but it’s pretty fun… and I love being able to make small, simple things extra fun, useful, and/or pretty.

What are some fun ways you’ve seen (or done!) something uniquely wrapped lately?

New Recipes

I am now cultivating a new habit in the kitchen! Due to the alarming rate at which my family consumes yogurt, I am now making our own yogurt! I can make 4 quarts + 1 pint for $3. Nothing wrong with that, especially when it is so easy to do!! I am so thankful that I can do this, in order to bless my family and be wise with what God has given us. I have habitually spent around $1.50 per day on yogurt, and while that meant it came in handy little serving-sized-packages where we had access to as many as six flavors in the fridge at a time, that just really adds up quickly and somehow when I figured out it doesn’t have to be that expensive, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t tried this before! We like to just stir a little spoonful of homemade jam into our fresh yogurt; right now I only have strawberry and peach jams (just didn’t get around to making any other kinds this last summer), but I’ve found that applesauce or honey also make good yogurt flavoring additions.

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The other thing I recently tried (for Steven’s birthday, which happened to fall on Thanksgiving this year) was a layered sweet potato cheesecake. Completely delicious, and worth adding to the books to do again sometime. The only alteration I made (if I remember correctly) was that instead of a completely graham cracker crust, I did half pretzels and half graham crackers. Oh wait, one more addition: I added some cinnamon and nutmeg to the sour cream topping to spice it up. 🙂

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Dabbling in Various Domestic Endeavors

I may not have a Pinterest account, but I sure love coming up with new ideas for the beautifying of my home, the loving of my family, and the nutritious & delicious filling of our bellies! Enjoy a wee glimpse into a few of my recent crafty endeavors.