Pregnant with a Rainbow, Part II


I have set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember My covenant that is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.
Genesis 9:13-16

Last time I talked about how dressing my pregnant body walks a fine balancing line, and dances with a dichotomy. I know the pain, and I also know the joy. I embrace both.

Another way that I embrace both is another outward, visual thing. Not daily, but sometimes. You can see it in the picture above. Right over my heart is my necklace with all my babies’ names on it. Well, the first twelve. I haven’t added Sweet Teen’s nametag to it yet, because his name is still a secret. So he rests in my belly, and the names of the other twelve rest close to my heart.

Not that I ever forget… but sometimes I like having a tangible, visual reminder of all my children.
I like the conversation piece.
I appreciate the perspective.
And like our Lord’s seeing of His bow in the clouds, I like seeing this reminder & remembering.
And it’s something other people can see too, and maybe remember (or ask about for the first time).

The joy this little boy’s life gives me… this sweet baby who lives hidden underneath my skin… is indescribable. And the fact that I know what could have been makes me cherish him all the more, I think. I know how fragile life is. I know how undeserving I am. I know how miraculous it is that two cells met in my womb, that God spoke life into that union, that He gave us medications to control my body, that He enabled my physical self to nurture this tiny boy rather than attack it. I know. And that knowledge gives me a daily abundance of joy and dose of humility that I can not aptly put into words.

But if you look in my eyes, if you grasp my hand, if you see me fingering my necklace, if you notice me poking my belly because someone from the inside is poking me back… you might get a little glimpse of knowing too.

This necklace? Oh, it’s my mommy necklace.
Yes, each one of my children has a nametag.
Yep, there are a dozen.
Well… a dozen names there, and the thirteenth is on the way.
Yes, I am very blessed. You really have no idea.

2 Replies to “Pregnant with a Rainbow, Part II”

  1. *Smiles* Yes, you are blessed! So glad to know you and so thankful to have you for a friend. Thank you for sharing your life, your journey and your blessings with us!

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