Ready or Not

It is often easier to do hard things when it is obvious that there is a need to be met. A few years ago, this is how I became a Christian moms’ conference director. And this year, this is how I am becoming a homeschool co op director.

There is a need. God is showing me that He wants me to meet it, and He will equip me to do the work if I seek Him faithfully. Ready or not, He has brought me new work! I am asking Him for the wisdom and grace to meet it.

Until just a couple of weeks ago, my family was happily digging deep into a Classical Christian homeschool co op about 45 minutes away. In fact, we only got to spend two years with this particular group, and they happened to be some of the oddest two years in educational pursuits I can think of (thank you, intersection of germs and government). We had been excited to help develop the high school program with this co op, as my oldest son was among the oldest (with one other student his age) and we have every intention (while being open to wherever the Lord leads year by year) of homeschooling our children through their teens. With the ever-changing scene (especially lately) with higher education, it is even hard to map out where our children want to go (and where we think it is wise) in order to plan the best trajectory for them to get there with their limited years of childhood. Childhood is such a short season. Oh, Lord have mercy on us and grant us Your wisdom.

So at the very end of April, with curriculum already partially purchased and plans already in the works for the next co op year, we were very surprised to have the rug pulled out from beneath our feet when a phone call came from a dear friend of mine, saying that not only would our co op not be meeting for the 2021-2022 school year, but it was looking probable that the 26-year-long run for this particular co op was over. We spent a weekend saddened, heavy, hurting, and burdened.

I don’t know whether I spent more time crying or praying that weekend. They were so entwined.

Very soon, though–within mere days–I felt a pressing that I have felt only a couple of times before. A pressing that God is pushing me into a new work. Not something I planned or pined for, but something He prepared for me. No more tears, just time to follow Him with a willing heart & eager hands.

Let me just say, I never wanted to start a co op. I did not plan to be on a steering committee. This was from way out in left field. Maybe right field. Which punted left. I don’t know. But suffice it to say: this was not on my radar whatsoever.

But God. (Those are my dad’s two favorite words in Scripture. And as an adult, I now see why… although as a kid, I remember just giggling and wondering why my dad was such a nerd.)

God pulled that rug out from beneath my feet, He pressed a burden into my heart, and put a new task into my hands. I whipped together a plan for a new co op: first writing out what my personal thoughts were regarding things, and then looking at Scripture for a basis, and gathering information from other co op groups… and I created a handbook for a theoretical cooperative right here in my own little country hometown.

Within three weeks, I had a plan, a place, and a group of people wanting to link arms with us. Obviously, this was not my doing. This was the Lord at work.

It is such a blessing to dig in deep when we know that we are not spinning our own wheels or our own webs. It is a gift when the Lord presents us with opportunities–even really difficult ones–and essentially kicks us right through open doors. Something I have told numerous people through the work of running the Paideia Northwest conferences is that I love closed doors just about as much as I love open doors. They are both beautiful answers to prayer. And I am finding that resonating now with our new co op venture as well. It is easier to do hard things when I see the need which must be met… but it is even easier still when I see that it is the Lord meeting the need through me. I am not in charge. I am His tool.

Ready or not, the Lord is at work, and I am His handmaiden. I am here to do His will, and trust He will gird me for the tasks set before me. I am not enough, but He is. I am not ready, but He has already accomplished what needs to be done. And it is good.

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