Be Nourished

Gather the people you love around your table
and feed them with love and honesty and creativity.
Feed them with your hands and the flavors and smells that remind you
of home and beauty and the best stories you’ve ever heard, the best stories you’ve ever lived.
~Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine, p256~

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The table is the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed,
and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children.
We allow someone else to meet our need.
In a world that prides people on not having needs,
on going longer and faster, on going without, on powering through,
the table is a place of safety and rest and humanity,
where we are allowed to be as fragile as we feel.
If the home is a body, the table is the heart,
the beating center, the sustainer of life and health.

~Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine, p258~

Some Visuals

To give some perspective, here are a few visuals that show a couple of the many reasons we love homeschooling! 🙂
For instance: all ages gathered around together undergoing education simultaneously, and physical education involving mudpuddles and brotherly love!!

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We must have hard work. We must have discipline. We must have pedagogical order. But it must be anointed with imagination.
~Douglas Wilson, blog

Trustingly

“An attitude of acceptance says that we trust God, that He loves us, and knows what is best for us. Acceptance does not mean that we do not pray for physical healing, or for the conception and birth of a little one to our marriage. We should indeed pray for those things, but we should pray in a trusting way. We should realize that, though God can do all things, for infinitely wise and loving reasons, He may not do that which we pray that He will do. How do we know how long to pray? As long as we can pray trustingly, with an attitude of acceptance of His will, we should pray as long as the desire remains.”

~Jerry Bridges

Teaching my children

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
… lest you forget the Lord… It is the Lord your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by His name you shall swear.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9, 12, 13

As a homeschooling mama I particularly embrace teaching my children about… well… pretty much everything! But the main thing that God calls me to teach my children is Him ~ and of course, in the process of learning about Him, they will learn not only His Word but also about His people, His world, His creation, His desires. Our prayer is that our children would come to see all of life through the lens of Christianity, so that they know that nothing can be separated from God, and that they would not only know but also love that all things are connected to Him, and are for His glory and the furtherance of His Kingdom.

So as I continue in the journey of homeschooling these sweet children the Lord has entrusted to my care, I pray that Deuteronomy 6 would be a daily meditation and reality for me. It is written on the wall near our front door, and I pray that it would be inscribed upon my heart just as noticeably.

As I’ve recently been enjoying a little read by Elizabeth George, she reminds me of some easy highlights from Deuteronomy 6:7 ~

Who is to teach? Every believing parent.
Who are you to teach? Your children.
What are you to teach? God’s Word.
How are you to teach? Diligently.
When are you to teach? All day long, every day.
Where are you to teach? At home and everywhere.

It’s so basic and so complex all at the same time!
May the Lord equip me to accomplish this task set before me!

Psalm 34:11
2 Timothy 1:5
Proverbs 1:8
Proverbs 6:20

Real Faith

I’ve been seeking, this week, to keep my faith in Jesus Christ ~& the grace that abundantly flows toward us through the Gospel~ in front of my eyes. I am asking God to fill me up with it so that it comes out my fingertips. And this morning when I read an encouraging snippet from Nancy Guthrie’s daily book, Abundant Life Day Book, the Lord reiterated that to me afresh as He spoke to me through words she wrote in encouragement and faith.

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. … Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them. … Then when you call, the Lord will answer. “Yes, I am here,” he will quickly reply. Isaiah 58:6-7, 9

I love you too much to let you settle for some sense of false religiosity. So I am calling you to authentic spirituality. Here is how you live out real faith before Me: you get your eyes off yourself, your concerns, your struggles, your needs, and you throw yourself into meeting the needs of others.

As you become the answer to someone else’s prayers, you will look up and discover that I am answering your prayers. As you give yourself away, you will discover that you have been blessed with more than you could ever ask for. We’ll have the real relationship you long for, and when you call to Me, you will find me humbly available and quickly responsive.

May God enable me to serve others with joy for His sake, may He give me grace to be the answer to someone else’s prayers so that He can receive glory, and may He open my eyes in real faith so that I will always readily see how abundantly He is blessing me whether in the valleys or on the mountaintops. Amen.

Studying The Promised One

It may be a ten week Bible study course, but it was something that I worked through and studied for the last nine months. Last fall, a couple of friends committed to getting together with me twice a month to pursue praying and singing together, and studying the book of Genesis through Mrs. Guthrie’s study called The Promised One. It was such a blessing for me to read, study, prepare, and share what the Lord was teaching me and showing me and reiterating to me through these chapters and through re-reading the book of Genesis again this year. We took it a little at a time, because even though we had the blessing of having a grandma on-hand every time for babysitting all the kids, we were never uninterrupted, and things like starting on time and staying on task didn’t always happen either. 🙂 Regardless of hiccups, I felt so blessed to have the accountability of regularly getting together with a purpose, and the Lord truly encouraged and challenged my spirit through studying His Word, being reminded of the history of His people (who are also my people!), and applying spiritual truths and principles to my life over these recent months.

I knew I would love this book, and the whole Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament series actually, even if just because Nancy Guthrie wrote it, and nothing of hers has ever left me coming up dry. I’ve read six of her books so far, and I have two more lined up ready to go. I have never met Mrs. Guthrie (even if I do somehow feel like I have, in my heart), but that is on my bucket list ~ if the Lord ever gives a reasonable opportunity, I want to meet Mrs. Guthrie someday, to tell her how she has ministered to me in my grief, encouraged me toward love and good works, and helped shape some of my ministry and writing opportunities.

In this study on Genesis, I may not have had lots of revelations about things I’d never heard before, but some of the most encouraging reiteration of things I’d read before, heard in previous sermons, or thought of when doing character studies on the patriarchs. Beautiful reminders. And honestly, I think largely because Mrs. Guthrie has also buried children and suffered intense grief, the author thinks along similar wavelengths as I do, and she seems to say things exactly when and how my heart needs to receive them. Good stuff. Especially because through the nine months I was studying through The Promised One, I have been suffering and grieving and revisiting all kinds of old temptations & trials. Covenantal theology is an enormous thing for me, never moreso than right now, and while I don’t know if Mrs. Guthrie and I would line up 100% on our biblical interpretations and theologies, for the most part I really think we do, and I have just found it such an encouraging thing to see covenantal theology throughout so much of this Genesis study. It has really solidified things for me and opened my eyes even further on things I had seen glimpses of before.
Another beautiful aspect is how some of the things I read in this study have been wonderfully parallel to some things I’ve also been reading in A Son for Glory which is a study through the book of Job. Once I completely finish that book (I’m not quite there yet), there will hopefully be a blog about that one as well (it’s super good stuff).
For the last year or so, my husband and I have been utterly astounded by GRACE. Just in awe of God’s grace not only to us, but to His people at large. We have been grappling to get ahold of a bigger and stronger understanding of grace, seeking to soak up His grace so much that we ooze it out on each other, on our children, and on others around us as well. And for the last few months especially, we have really seen God doing such wonderful works in us and in our family, as we have seen and embraced grace from Him, from one another, to one another… to God be all glory! But one of the biggest hallmarks in this Bible study is the overriding theme of grace! So having this book to read and to hammer grace into my head and heart over recent months, right along the same time that my husband and I have been seeking to know and understand and grasp and embrace and overflow grace… well, it’s just one of those “God things” where you know He lines up even the smallest details of our lives. And it makes me so thankful.

So please take a moment to read just a very few wonderful-to-me, although out of context, quotes from The Promised One, and consider it my offering to poke you toward this Bible study series… I am off to begin The Lamb of God next.

“When we have been made new on the inside, it fortifies us to endure the inevitable oldness and deterioration that is a reality of living in these bodies of flesh in a world that still longs to be transformed by this same newness.” (p51)

“To know the favor of God is not to be loved as you are by nature but to be loved for who you are in Christ.” (p101)

“The bigger picture around the ark was that of families on rooftops, struggling and failing to keep their heads above the water, and a sea of floating corpses… It prefigures what will happen to all who refuse to enter into the safety and protection provided in Christ… Because Noah was a righteous man who walked with God, Noah’s heart must have broken as he heard the desperate cries of those who were not safely inside the ark… Rest inside the boat does not come easily unless all those you love deeply are safe inside with you… It can only be saturated in prayer. It can only be sought through diligence on our knees… And ultimately, we pray that it will not be our loved one’s rebellion and resistance that will have the last word in his or her life, but God’s grace and mercy.” (p104-106)

“Noah’s story is the story of a man who walked with God, believed God, waited for God, and depended on God. But sadly, it is also the story of a man who, in the final chapter of his life, dishonored and failed God. Noah is just like us. He not only needed God’s saving grace; he needed God’s sustaining grace.” (p109)

“Like Abraham, we must believe that the righteousness of Christ is sufficient, that it is weighty enough, and that God is good enough to give it to us, who have no real righteousness of our own.” (p162)

“To walk before God is to live in such a way that every step is made in reference to God.” (p185)

“No one who lives by faith continues to live their own way. Grace goes to work in the interior of our lives so that our allegiances are directed by God and our perspectives are shaped by God.” (p186)

“God was faithful in His promises. Abraham received the promises of God not because he and Sarah worked up enough faith on their own to believe God’s promises and hold on to them. It was grace given to them in spite of their doubt and disbelief. God was faithful to Abraham not because of Abraham’s faithfulness but in spite of Abraham’s faithlessness. God kept all of His promises to Abraham, who did not keep his promises to God… The good news of the gospel is that even though we fail in keeping our promises to God, He will keep His promises to us.” (p192)

“Genuine faith is always lived out through obedience. Authentic faith is proven, purified, and strengthened when put to the test.” (p194)

“The point of this story [of Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac on an altar[ is not to convince or convict you that you must be willing to sacrifice for God what is most precious to you. It is that God was willing to sacrifice for you what was most precious to Him.” (p197)

“God’s promises to me are not for this life only. In fact they are not primarily for this life, but for an eternity to come.” (p198)

“Joseph not only knew that God was with him but also was confident in God’s plan to use him. That confidence gave him peace as he waited for God to work out His plan, even as that plan brought him pain.” (p241)

“God’s people would suffer. But it would not e wasted, meaningless suffering. It would be fruitful suffering… Joseph didn’t turn his attention to being fruitful only after the season of suffering was over. In the land of his affliction, in the middle of the struggle, in the heart of the darkness, Joseph was confident that God was at work.” (p243-244)

“He has a purpose and design in what is happening to us from the beginning, and even though what is happening to us might not be good, God intends it all for our ultimate good… We may never see in this life exactly how God is using our loss for good. But just because we can’t see or articulate clearly His purpose in our suffering doesn’t mean He doesn’t have one… Your suffering will one day give way to great glory.” (p250-251)

“While God certainly cares for us and interacts with us as individuals, and His purposes for us are personal, we have to balance that perspective with the truth that the heart of the story of the Bible is God’s dealings not with individuals but with a people — a people He has called to Himself from all the peoples of the earth. So while there is a great deal we can learn from Genesis about how we can expect God to deal with us as individuals, we cannot miss the context, which is that God’s purposes are not primarily about individuals but about His chosen people.” (p280)

Remembering His Faithfulness

“As we deal — as we all must do — with troubles, affliction, difficulties and so on, the toughest thing to remember is that God is handstitching these problems for us, and He is doing this so that they will fit us perfectly.” ~Pastor Wilson

What a perfectly timed blessing from God my gracious Father, to give me this post to read this morning as an encouragement to my trembling heart, as I seek to walk by faith through the various handstitched days and trials and joys He has prepared for me.

“Present temptations have a way of banishing past deliverances from our minds, and that is what Puritan theologians used to call “no good.” We pass through our trials, if we do pass through them, by faith (Heb. 11:29). This means, remember, that we cannot prove our seemingly “unwarranted” confidence beforehand. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Heb. 11:1). If we are to be faithful in our generation, this means that we are trusting God to deliver us from our particular circumstances.” ~Pastor Wilson

One of the biggest challenges I am facing these days is the simple act of remembering. (And a quick search in a Bible app shows me that in the ESV, the word “remember” shows up 234 times! That’s repetition…)

Psalm 77:11  I will remember the deeds of the Lord;  yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

Remembering God’s faithfulness in the past. To His people. Including my family. And little old me. His faithfulness has looked different at different times, but…

He

Has

Always

Been

Faithful

 

“the task before us is to remember that we have that proof in hand as we round the corner into our next trial.” ~ Pastor Wilson

The glory of limping

Sometimes I feel like I’m limping ~ one foot here, one foot in heaven.

This weekend is Mother’s Day around here, and honestly there is a lot of hype, especially in the circles of moms online where I glean a lot of sweet fellowship. Personally, I could take it or leave the hype with Mother’s Day: I’m like that with most Hallmark Holidays though… I’m more of a church calendar holiday type of girl. ^_^

That being said, at the same time: I get it.

I am a mom.

I have a mom.

I have a mother in law.

I have a grandma.

I have sisters-in-law who are moms.

I have friends who are moms, who are more like sisters than friends.

 

So I understand the joy and privilege and beauty of a holiday like this.
I understand that we should rejoice in the reminder of honoring and tangibly loving these women who have (and do!) sacrificed so much. It reminds me of a quote in a frame on my daughter’s bedroom wall by Anne Bradstreet:

You had a Dame that lov’d you well,
That did what could be done for young
And nurst you up till you were strong
And ‘fore she once would let you fly
She shew’d you joy and misery,
Taught what was good, and what was ill,
What would save life, and what would kill.
Thus gone, amongst you I may live,
And dead, yet speak and counsel give.
Farewell, my birds, farewell, adieu,
I happy am, if well with you.

 

So I love that I not only get to honor the moms in my life, but that I also get the icing-on-the-cake joy of receiving some of that special honor for Mother’s Day. Mostly, though, I love the reminders that being a mom is an incredible joy and privilege. That it can so easily and quickly be taken away in less than the blink of an eye. Not only my own experiences with the frailty of life, but also things like reading here and here brings exhortation and encouragement to my heart to keep my balance on reality. To focus on Grace. To bask in the joys.

Most of my children are singing in the choirs of heaven.

Some of my children are singing here with me.

BOTH are a joy and privilege.

 

So as I limp through Mother’s Day, with one foot on earth and one foot in heaven… some of my olive branches here and some of them there… I will choose to rejoice. Because it’s not about me. It’s not about what I want or what I choose or what I control. It’s about gifts and grace and glorious humility ~ from God my Father.

I will wear my necklace that has all of my babies’ names on it. I will write all my babies’ names together. I will give pictures of my living children to their grandmas and great-grandma. I will praise God for giving me the incredible and undeserved gift of being a mom to living children. I will praise God for choosing me to be a humble vessel that held babies that went straight to His presence.

 

I know that many of you who read my blog also have one foot on earth and one in heaven (and some of you are moms to children in heaven without yet having children here in your arms). So what will you do as you limp through Mother’s Day this year?? How will you remember the joy and the privilege of being a mommy to whatever child(ren) the Lord has seen fit to give you? How will you honor and love the mothers in your life for the sacrificial blessings they have bestowed upon you (when you’ve seen them, and especially when you’ve been blind to them)?

And in the meantime, just know this: you will be in my prayers.

I’m praying that I would reflect on the glory of this limp. I don’t know what it’s like NOT to be a mommy of children in heaven. And I want to be thankful, praising God, for the glorious ways of His perfect plan even when I don’t understand all its details. I want to see the glory of having one foot here and one foot there. I want to embrace it and love it and bless His Name for it.

When Anticipating Mother’s Day is Bittersweet…

If you find yourself in a position of anticipating Mother’s Day this weekend with a bittersweetness in your heart and a catch in your throat, I’ve been there. And this morning I wanted to share from my heart with you something I wrote called Two Pearls, posted at Expecting With Hope, as I recall my very first Mother’s Day six years ago… and even as I anticipate this coming Mother’s Day. These days, I look like a mom. 🙂 You’ll see me babywearing or pushing a stroller, my purse is really a diaper bag, my kids’ outfits & hairstyles are much more put together than mine are, and a glance in my car at three carseats squished side-by-side in a single row would confirm that I totally drive a mom car.
And I embrace that with so much thankfulness and joy! But when someone sees me in the grocery store parking lot with my three little miracles and smiles with a comment like, “you’ve got your hands full, mama” they really have no idea. My hands may look full, but my heart is even more full.

This Mother’s Day, I am mommy to twelve: eight singing in heaven, three running around my ankles, and one fighting for life in my womb.
This Mother’s Day, I continue on the journey of knowing what the past held and wondering what God holds for our future.
This Mother’s Day, I fully embrace the gifts the Lord has given me, both here and in heaven, and pray for His grace to joyfully accept what His sovereign hand delivers into mine.

As I wrote in my journal, “it was my very first Mother’s Day—although I did not have either of my children in my arms, I fellowshipped with one in heaven and held the other in my belly…”

So as another Mother’s Day arrives, I remember those of you who are in similar shoes—who have loved and lost and now love anew, who know what the past held and wonder what the future holds, who have Mother’s Day fears and Mother’s Day hopes, who know you are a mom (perhaps of many!) even if you have “nothing” to show for it but memorabilia like my two pink pearls. Those pearls were my reminder of what God had done. Those pearls continue to be a reminder to me of God’s faithfulness. And I still get joy out of telling my son how one of the pearls was for him and one for his big sister he will meet in heaven where we will see the most beautiful pearls imaginable (Revelation 21:21).

Molder of Childhoods

You are now on your own.
And then you aren’t.
Other real live souls are now depending on you.
You are the creator of their childhoods.
You are the influencer of their dreams and tastes and fears.
You are the emcee of all reality,
the one to introduce those small people to the true personality of their Maker

(as imaged by your life more than your words).
The choices you now make have lives riding on them. Always.
Their problems and struggles are yours to help them resolve.
Their weaknesses yours to strengthen. Or not.
(Maybe they’ll outgrow them.)

~N. D. Wilson, Death by Living, p44~

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For good and ill,
I am a molder of childhoods,
an instiller of instincts,
a feeder (or famisher) of souls,
a sensei of humor.
I am an image of God
(stunted and vandalized but all the earthly father my kids can have).
Thank God for faith and bulk-ordered grace.

~N. D. Wilson, Death by Living, p44~