Tuesday May 4, 2010

I finished reading Womanly Dominion during my infusion today, and wanted to share some bits with you all.

The Lord bless you!

Excerpts from Womanly Dominion: More Than a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

By Mark Chanski

The false stereotype of a Christian woman being a helpless and frail mouse, who passively shades herself under the parasol of her soft femininity, and adoringly waits for her husband to do all the heavy lifting, is shattered by the Scriptures. (p 13)

[H]er jewelry is not only the necklace of “a gentle and quiet spirit,” but also the bracelets of “strength and dignity.” (p 13)

Men and women alike” are both called to subdue and rule in the various spheres of their lives. (p 15)

It’s absolutely and wonderfully true that women are rightly designated in the Bible the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7) who are to display a “gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4). But such soft and tender qualities do not tell the whole story. There’s much more to the challenging mission assigned to the godly woman by her Maker, Redeemer, and Lord. (p 15)

Womanly dominion is a blessed virtue, as urgently needed in our day as manly dominion. (p 21)

Godly women, made in the image of God, must repeatedly remind themselves, “Play your position!” They must loyally resolve to stay at their God-assigned posts, to the glory of God, despite the shouts from the misguided cultural sidelines. (p 22)

[E]very image-bearing man and woman is obligated to imitate his/her Maker in his own miniature world. Each is assigned a lifelong plot of wild earth that he/she is to stake out, cut down, plow up, plant, and harvest. We must aggressively subdue, and not passively loiter. (p 29)

[A] woman is to dominate aggressively her environment, rather than allow her environment to dominate her. (p 31)

Children are introduced not merely as a preferential option but as a holy obligation. (p 32)

Fruitfulness varies in its manifestation among different plants. A fruitful grape-vine will sport many, many clusters of grapes. On the other hand, a productive pumpkin vine may only generate four or five pumpkins. A farmer is very thankful if a single cornstalk produces two ears! Fruitfulness will vary from womb to womb, family to family. Revelation, providence, liberty and wisdom must be conscientiously blended. (p 32)

God’s procreation mandate assigns to man and woman the sacred obligation to make the earth swarm and teem with image-bearing creatures. (p 33)

God’s fetching glory for Himself is the chief purpose for mankind and womankind. (p 33)

What is the mightiest strategy for influencing the world unto God-glorifying good? It was unveiled in the Garden of Eden. “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it.” Women of dominion who give their lives to the bearing and nurturing of God-fearing offspring are the power brokers of the earth. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world! (p 37)

Procreation summons a woman to an extraordinarily God-glorifying enterprise; and godly women of dominion have a peculiar eye toward it. How can she effectively subdue and rule the earth? She can best accomplish it by taking seriously her creation mandate. (p 38)

For a woman who rejects the mind of the world and puts on the mind of Christ, it is counted a great honor to follow in the submissive footsteps of the servant-hearted Son of God. (p 40)

Sure, [women of dominion] will encounter pain and thorns and thistles in the process. Sure, they’ll need to exercise Herculean discipline and self-denial. But the wonderful final-day revelation will leave them with no regrets. (p 47)

[L]adies, consider yourselves warned. The Liar takes a special pleasure in whispering into your pretty ears. You are darling targets for his dart-like wiles. (p 48)

[The enemy] detests a woman on a mission, subduing and ruling her life to the glory of god with a dominion mindset. Such mighty women are a great threat to his dark kingdom. So he continuously slithers across your path, and with subtlety, persuades you to reject your positional loyalty and your win-it tenacity. (p 49)

Women of dominion trample serpents under their feet (Psalm 91:13). (p 52)

Consider the excellent wife of Proverbs 31. Her most striking trait is the fact that she is so utterly selfless. (Proverbs 31:12, 13, 14, 15, 27)… And what does such selfless, servant-hearted, help-meeting get her? Is she oppressed and abused? To the contrary, her husband is crazy about her! He’s convinced she’s one in a million, …worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her.” And he tells her so: “Her husband…praises her…” (31:28). He brags about her to his friends… His children honor and praise her… (p 55)

Stay-at-home mothers may be underpaid, but they’re certainly not underchallenged! (p 59)

Peter does highlight a specific strength in Sarah, namely, her subduing and ruling over her fears. This is a fundamental battle for any woman. Panic attacks are a common affliction in stressful times. Sarah is a heroine worthy of imitation, for instead of fretting and surrendering, she managed to “hope in God” and “do what is right without being frightened by fear.” (p 64)

What fearful heart piercings loving mothers must endure! They pour their hearts into their children. Then they must helplessly watch, sometimes from tear-drenched pillows, their darlings run the gauntlet of a wicked and cruel world. Godly mothering isn’t for cowards! The same is true for godly wifing. (p 65)

Fear is the most strangling emotion known to man or woman. (p 73)

We must be men and women of dominion, boldly making decisions on the basis of our duty, obligation, and opportunity, not on the basis of our fears and insecurities. (p 74)

There’s a time for a woman to resignedly sit back and wait for the Lord to change her husband’s mind. And there’s a time for a woman to assertively rise up and take matters into her own hands. Abigail knew how to tell time. (p 77)

Abigail also knew how to remain sweet. A besetting sin of many women is sharp-tongued argumentativeness. (p 77)

Furthermore, understand that it’s not only Nabals who need Abigails. Davids need them, too. Men “after God’s own heart” often need their women to step in front of them when they’re charging down a mountainside to do something they may later regret. (p 78)

Faithful and loving counsel is a stock element of a God-honoring marriage. An Abigail-like wife is woman enough to deliver it. A David-like husband is man enough to receive it. (p 79)

What mission could be more meaningful than being an excellent wife alongside a mighty man of God? (p 82)

Practical womanly dominion without devotional womanly dominion can easily deteriorate into atheistic enterprising. (88)

Such atheistic enterprising is the very thing we do if we put our hands to the daily plow without taking time to pray and plead for the help of God to establish the work of our hands. (p 88)

Devotional consistency requires practical creativity. (p 88)

Be definition, motherhood is that dignified and strenuous life vocation taken up by a woman who has resolved to give herself fully to the task of nurturing godly children from a godly home environment. (p 98)

[S]tay-at-home mothering did not culturally evolve from the influence of heavy-handed men; it was sovereignly ordained by the decree of our good heavenly Father. (p 99)

Mothering is a profoundly sanctifying vocation which cultivates the graces of love, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control, selflessness, humility, dependence, prayerfulness, and joy as none other. (p 101)

Motherhood is an honorable and sacred vocation. The King of Heaven has specially appointed the mother to accomplish a noble and lofty mission. Though some shrill voices in our dimwitted society may belittle her occupation, she should press on in her duties with her head held high. She’s about the King’s business. (p 101)

How does a married woman with children forge a noble reputation in God’s eyes? She hammers it out on the anvil of sacrificial mothering. She gives herself wholly to the sacred mission of nurturing God-fearing children, from a spiritually healthy home environment. (p 102)

The cream, and not the dregs, of her energies and time are to be poured into her loving her husband and children from her household headquarters. (p 103)

A homemaking mother is not merely a conservative and anachronistic option, but a God-ordained and sacredly instituted vocation. (p 105)

Homemaking motherhood is no refuge for the inept woman who can’t cut it in the real world. Rather, stay-at-home mothering is the ultimate profession for the elite of her gender. (p 108)

Those motherly hands are molding characters which will become men and women who will turn the world upside down either for good or for evil. Now that’s a job that counts. (p 108)

What could bring more joy to an aging woman than to have her children rise up and call her blessed by their walking in the faith? What could bring more joy to a glorified woman than seeing around the heavenly throne a multigenerational crowd of her maternal influence? (p 122)

It requires great courage, strength, resourcefulness, savvy, wisdom, and heroism to rear up children to the glory of God. (p 123)

Not only is the unborn child the most unprotected and endangered species on earth, but our born children are suffering gross neglect upon their arrival into the world. (p 124)

Because of a dedicated mother’s exceeding value to the good of society and the kingdom of God, the forces of darkness have aimed their big guns against her. (p 124)

Your mission, dear mother, is not to make your children happy, but to prepare them for eternity. (p 127)

A woman of dominion will strive to maintain an orderly household. An overgrown yard, ransacked rooms, and a sink stacked high with dirty dishes do not glorify the God who loves things being “done properly and in an orderly manner” (1 Corinthians 14:40; also numerous Proverbs). (p 139)

Let go of your right to personal leisure. (p 140)

I’ve not be commissioned at this stage in my life to enjoy leisure, but to be a father. My goal is not to raise low-maintenance children, but lion-hearted ones. (p 141)

Motherhood is much like Savior-hood. The Lord Jesus needed rest and a vacation but was compelled to do otherwise. (p 141)

Resolve to raise your boys to be men. (p 144)

Train your sons to face obstacles head on, work hard through thorns and thistles, and “find a way” to get jobs done. They need to become bread-winning providers in a cursed world. (p 144)

Mothers must lionize their sons by dignifying them with their respect. (p 145)

Cloak your son with a big jacket of respect in his childhood, and he’ll seek to grow into it in his manhood. (p 145)

Are we directing and equipping our daughters to be godly helpmeets and mothers or independent career women who loathe wifehood and mother hood? It’s very possible to unwittingly do the latter by haphazardly sending them into the heavy current of today’s educational system and youth culture. (p 147)

I desperately need a wife who is well-educated, well-read, precise thinking, culturally aware, financially shrewd, and theologically mature. Such a wife is a potent force of inestimable value in the lives of her husband and children. (p 149)

A college education can go a long way in training a young woman to be an excellent helpmeet and mother. But she needs her mother continuously at her elbow. (p 149)

Ultimately, it’s God’s sovereign grace, and not a mother’s faithful diligence, that saves and sanctifies her children. (p 150)

Hannah’s wonderful experience inspires ladies to believe that the Lord peculiarly cups His ear to motherly women who cry out to Him with wet eyes and distressed hearts (1 Samuel 1:9-11, 27). God remarkably responds to such pleading women. (p 152)

Biblical love isn’t primarily a feeling or an emotion. It’s fundamentally not a noun, but a verb. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Love is not a sentiment, but an action. It’s not something you feel, but something you do. (p 163)

Men love to be perceived as heroes and dragon slayers. We love to rescue damsels and be admired for our chivalrous feats. (p 169)

Yes, we men are easily captivated by our brides’ looking beautifully feminine and acting flirtatiously sweet. Did I say flirtatious? That is an important variable, too. (p 174)

[David the psalmist] was emboldened like a lion, not by convincing himself that his fears would probably never materialize. They might! Rather he calmed his soul by meditating on the covenant love of his God. (p 184)

When put to shaking by the hobgoblins, dragons, and dreads of the black valley, the Psalmist doesn’t flee into the fantasy of denial, but boldly ventures down to confront them. “I fear no evil.” (p 185)

Experience with God’s faithful shepherding in dark valleys makes the most delicate of women, as bold as lions. (p 191)

[An empty nester] remains a mother to her grown children who are slugging-it-out in the trenches of young family life and a grandmother to a newly hatching generation. An available and servant-hearted mom and grandma is an incalculable windfall. Furthermore, the church of Christ can be mightily empowered by older women who pour their time, energies, and wisdom into the ministries of their local congregations. (p 225)

Monday May 3, 2010

I read a few Samuel Rutherford quotes today, and this one particularly blessed me:

I dare not say but my Lord Jesus hath fully recompensed my sadness with His joys,
my losses with His own presence.
I find it a sweet and rich thing to exchange my sorrows with Christ’s joys,
my afflictions with that sweet peace I have with Himself.

And a couple of Amy Carmichael poems, including this sweet gem:

And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Until it be according unto mine?
But no, Lord, no, that never shall be; rather,
I pray Thee, blend my human will with Thine.
I pray Thee, hush the hurrying, eager longing;
I pray Thee, soothe the pangs of keen desire;
See in my quiet places wishes thronging;
Forbid them, Lord; purge, though it be with fire.
And work in me to will and do Thy pleasure;
Let all within me, peaceful, reconciled,
Tarry, content my Well-beloved’s leisure–
At last, at last, even as a weaned child.

I am continuing through “The One Year Book of Hope” — I am just beginning a section on Angels, and am looking forward to that.
I have also started “A Grief Observed,” and will soon share some of my favorite quotes/excerpts.
Lastly, I am about to finish reading “Womanly Dominion” — always good to be reminded of my beautiful role as wife, mother, sister, princess, and homekeeper for God.

Friday April 23, 2010

from Sketches of Home, by Suzanne Clark

Mourning Into Dancing,” p 125

This is the third spring that mourning doves have nested in the ivy on the sill of my pantry window. Each time I reach for soup I see a dark, wet eye regarding me. Her mate the woodwind keeps watch in the nearby holly tree, his throat rolling the same glum notes over and over as she sits on her somber eggs. I sing to her, too, my old standby for doves, “The Indian Lullaby.”

The dining room window gives an even better view of the nest. After a couple of weeks the female will start picking away, and then there will be these two extra heads and a lot of shifting around and the father on whistling wings coming to spell her. It isn’t much of an exaggeration to say that a day or so later the young will be nearly grown and crowding with their pear-shaped mother into the saucer. Shortly afterward comes the moment I see the nest is empty, and there on a holly branch sit the four, docile as cows.

Drab as they are, the mourning doves do something extraordinary. The young perform a sort of dance with their wings, draping them over their parents who in turn give them regurgitated food. It seems sacramental, this adoring and feeding that overwhelms native sorrow and arrests me in the act of dusting chairs.

Friday March 19, 2010

The lintel low enough to keep out pomp and pride;
The threshold high enough to turn deceit aside;
The doorband strong enough from robbers to defend;
This door will open at a touch to welcome every friend.
~Henry Jackson van Dyke


One of my favorite books about relationships is Face to Face by Steve Wilkins, discussing friendship and hospitality. It’s been about two years since I have read it, though, so it’s about time to start again. 🙂 Click here for a decent review of it. I once shared excerpts and quotes from it here, too (anyone remember that?).
The funny thing is that we are almost always eager to pursue friendship. But are we as eager to pursue hospitality?
The two things are frequently related, but not always. Interesting.

I don’t know that I want to get into a deep discussion about hospitality right now.
I just wanted to say that I personally have been getting back at it.
During times of heavy grief, I am not always able to open my doors to invite in lots of guests for pretty tables and delicious food. But times of heavy grief come and go (sometimes predictably, but more often less so), and the days come again when I am equipped by God’s grace to show hospitality.
In recent weeks, I have made an effort to have someone over for dinner once a week. We’ve done it for the last four weeks, and are about to take a break for a few weeks. But then maybe I will try it once again.
It is delightful to have people over to share a meal (simple or fancy, as the case may be), pop open a bottle of wine (or a couple of beers, or a pitcher of freshly squeezed lemonade), and chase the evening away with pleasant conversation and fellowship (and maybe even a board game or two).

I pray that as I age, I will grow into my desires of hospitality. I would love to share my home, my table, my meals, and my family with others. Especially those in the bonds of Christ (Galatians 6:10). It is mutually beautiful and encouraging! But I would, someday, like to grow out of my comfort zone. I would love to invite nonChristians into my home (with discretion and hubby’s leading) someday, so that we can share the Gospel more tangibly, with table & food & conversation. I have always felt more called to discipleship than evangelism (God gives different gifts to different people), but I think I must at least dip toes into both realms. And one way I would love to grow my evangelistic thread is by sharing food (not that that is the only way to show hospitality, for it certainly is not. It is just one of my main ways of showing hospitality, as God has gifted me in that area). I have a few thoughts on how this may develop and evolve through the coming years… but this isn’t the time or place for that just yet. 🙂

I have been trying out new recipes on my hubby very frequently of late, and have even tried new recipes on our guests (which can be risky business). For our first recent set of guests, we had fajitas (our favorite tried & true, easy & quick, go-to meal) and salad and chips & salsa; with sweet tea to drink and chocolate bundt cake (new recipe!) for dessert. The second set of guests helped us share a meal of salmon & tilapia (basted with garlic, Meyer lemon, herb butter), quinoa (new recipe!), salad, and bread; again with sweet tea to drink and peach cobbler for dessert. The third set came on a day I had a blood infusion, so I tried planning ahead with a crockpot meal of Beef Burgundy (a twist on the theme, at least – I didn’t actually use burgundy, I used port! and this was also a new recipe!), salad, bread (new recipe again!); with a Spanish wine to drink and blackberry buckle (another new recipe!) for dessert (the pictures below are of this meal). Then on St. Patrick’s day we shared a meal again (this time with my brother’s family!), so it was our traditional March 17th fare of corned beef (with a fabulous brine in the crockpot), cabbage, onions and carrots, Irish soda bread (new recipe!), sour cream mashed potatoes; with Guinness to drink and chocolate chip cookies for dessert.


Besides the food, the home and table and atmosphere should also be welcoming and lovely. It should seep with hospitality. While I don’t necessarily think you have to have your house completely spic & span to have company (for what of those unannounced guests that occasionally pop by? Do invite them inside, even if there is dog hair all over the couch and toys strewn all across the floor!); if the company is expected, your home should look like it was expecting company. This will look different for different homes and different families. So do what you need to do to prepare your home (as well as yourself and your meal) to be hospitable.
For me, this involves bringing out the vacuum to clean the carpets and get the dog hair off the couch, etc. Vacuuming almost always involves first decluttering the house and putting away [most of] the toys. It also involves wiping down the bathroom; if it needs a good, deep clean then by all means scrub away… but if it just needs a little freshening up, grab a Lysol wipe (or spray a cloth with some good all-purpose disinfecting cleaner), and wipe down the countertop & sink, and then lastly wipe down the commode (no guest wants to use a disgusting toilet – I promise). Don’t worry much about the shower/tub unless the guests are staying overnight. Just close the door/curtain, and call it good. A quick Windexing of the mirror would be nice, and maybe putting in a Glade Plug-In or lighting a candle out-of-the-reach-of-children on the counter would add a nice scent and ambience.


And the table… yes, the table! Basically the altar upon which you offer your delicious meal as a sacrifice of your time, energies, and means! Make it lovely. This can be very simple or very complex, depending on the day. I like to have a candle or two (or four…), a vase (or jar or champagne flute) with a flower/bouquet, sometimes a tablecloth (especially if your actual table is less than lovely), etc.


Remember to relax. If something gets spilled on the tablecloth or floor, just smile and quickly wipe it up – and deal with stain-removal once the guests have left. Shrug it off. If you are relaxed and comfortable, your guests will be too.

Share the Gospel – with your food, your home, your words & your actions. Interact with your family as well as theirs. Don’t ignore anyone, including the littlest guests! Keep the conversation going (which is sometimes easier than others). Bring out toys for children (or Tupperware and wooden spoons and cookie cutters if you don’t have any), turn on some music, and enjoy sharing of yourself and your resources.

Also remember that hospitality isn’t just shown by inviting a whole family over for dinner.
(Mrs. Wilson has an archive about various issues involving hospitality right here!)
Hospitality is shown by delivering dinner to someone else’s home; by dropping off half a dozen (or a dozen!) cookies on a random day of the week to encourage someone’s day; by giving a can or two to the local canned food drive; by offering a bedroom to a traveling minister who needs a place to rest his head; by inviting someone over for brunch or tea; by sharing your garden produce with neighbors or brethren at church…
Hospitality looks different for different people, and different at different times. But it is always lovely.
Share of yourself. Bless God. And encourage hospitality in yourself, your home, and your family.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing constant in prayer;
Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
~Romans 12:10-13

Sunday February 28, 2010

My father seems to have a plethora of excellent resources on spiritual and biblical things. I love that about him. So when I recently posted a George Downame quote (the one my lovely friend Erin sent me with the bouquet of flowers), he was reminded of some Downame resources he’s used in the past when preparing sermons & studying Scripture. This last week, he gave me some pages (with some excellent spellings and such, you’ll notice!) from “A Godly And Learned Treatise of Prayer,” and I wanted to share some highlights here with you all. Prayer is something we all should pray to grow in, with wisdom and diligence.

excerpts from “A Godly And Learned Treatise of Prayer”
by George Downame, 1640. [sic]

 

This praying with earnest desire is commended to us in the word of God by divers significant phrases…

For, as Augustine saith, For the most part this businesse is effected better with grones then words, with weeping rather then speaking.

In matters temporall or spirituall which are necessary to salvation… as we are to ask them conditionally, so far forth as they may stand with Gods glory and the good of our selves and our brethren, so are we to believe that he will so far forth grant them, and therefore that he will either grant our desire or that which is better. For which cause in such requests we are most willingly with our Saviour Christ to submit our will and desires to the will and pleasure of God…

After our prayer is ended we must quietly rest in the good will and pleasure of God; not doubting but the Lord as he hath heard our prayers, so in his good time will grant the same as shall be most for his glory and our good. And this is the meaning of the word Amen, wherewith our Saviour hath taught us (as it were) to seal up our prayers: for thereby as we signifie the consent of our desire, so also the assent of faith.

Secondly, as we crave good things at the hands of God, so we our selves must endeavour to attain unto them by all good means possible. For otherwise our prayer is a tempting of God, as if we would have our desire granted as it were by miracle, and a fruit of no faith or unfeigned desire of the thing asked. For if we did truly believe and unfeignedly desire the thing which we ask, we would leave no good means unattempted for the obtaining thereof. As for example, when I pray for faith or any other spirituall grace, I must besides my prayer use all the good means carefully which the Lord hath ordained for the begetting and increasing of those graces in us, as the hearing of the word preached, receiving the Sacrament, reading and meditating in the word, &c.

Thirdly, if having prayed and used other means we do not obtain our desires, let us before we go any further labour to find out the cause.

Fourthly, having used the means and endeavoured to remove the impediments, we are to persist and persevere in prayer without fainting. To which purpose our Saviour propounded the parable of the widow and the judge, Luke 18.1. giving us to understand that those things which we do not obtain at the first, by reason of our perseverance and importunitie shall be granted.

Fifthly, as we are to persist with a kind of importunitie in our prayers, so are we with patience to expect the Lords leisure…

Sixthly, if having persisted in prayer and long expected the Lords leisure we yet have not obtained our suit, insomuch that the Lord may seem rather wholly to deny it then for a time to delay it, we are to rest in the good will and pleasure of God, being perswaded that he hath heard our prayers in a better manner then we desired, hearing us though not ad voluntatem yet ad utilitatem, that is, for our profit though not according to our will; after the manner of wise and carefull parents, who will not give to their children what they ask but what is profitable; and of good Physicians, who will not grant their patients what they desire but what is expedient.

As for example; A man being trouble with some infirmitie, which is as a prick in his flesh moving him to sinne, prayeth unto God to be delivered from it: but howsoever his prayer in desiring to be freed from evil is acceptable unto God, yet it may be he will not grant it, the denial being more for his glory and our profit: for his glory, because his power is manifested in our weaknesse; to make us work out our salvation with fear and trembling, to make us more circumspect of our wayes, knowing that we carry such an enemy about us, as if we stand not upon our guard will be ready to foil us.

But if contrariwise the Lord hath heard our prayers and granted our requests, then are we, First, to be thankfull unto God for his goodnesse… Secondly, our love of God must be increased and our faith confirmed with greater confidence to make our prayers unto him for the time to come…

Friday February 5, 2010

I haven’t been keeping up with quite as much reading as I’d love to lately… partly by choice and partly by circumstance… but I’m trying!
Here’s my list — and I’d love to know what you’re reading too!

Just finished:

  • Psalms
  • Down But Not Out by Wayne Mack

Still reading:

  • Proverbs
  • Five Aspects of Woman by Barbara Mouser
  • The One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie

Just started:

  • Be Still My Soul by Elisabeth Elliot
  • Hinds’ Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard

On the list “next”:

  • A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
  • Waiting On God by Andrew Murray
  • Womanly Dominion by Mark Chanski
  • Mountains Of Spices by Hannah Hurnard


There is a great deal of difference
between an eager man who wants to read a book
and a tired man who wants a book to read.
~G.K. Chesterton
No man can be called friendless
who has God and the companionship of good books.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Friday January 29, 2010

      I am still plugging along with some reading. Not as much as I was before, as I get too easily distracted by my thoughts – and then I end up getting very little out of the reading material, and the pages get too dimpled with salty tears to make it worthwhile. Maybe in another couple of weeks I will get back to books. For now I am mostly sticking with sewing and crafts and movies for distraction. (Yes, I admit that distraction is a great coping mechanism for me right now.)
      But when I feel strong enough for it, I am still delving page by page into The One Year Book of Hope. It is divided up into themes – five devotionals on each theme, along with an intro, closing meditation, and even guidelines for prayer. While it is difficult, it is wonderful. Bittersweet. Stingingly helpful. Accurately poignant.
This week I have been (ironically enough) in the theme of Death.
      The author, Mrs. Guthrie, says of her own deceased baby “…she no longer needed air to breathe. And I wondered if I was going to be able to.” I can 100% identify with that. There are moments when it physically hurts to inhale & exhale because of my grief. My body is both physical and emotional/spiritual. These aspects are tied in a unique way that only God truly understands. When my heart hurts so deeply, sometimes even my body hurts. Normal bodily functions that I normally don’t think about -like breathing- can become painful and laborious.
      Mrs. Guthrie also says, “…I’m reminded how natural death is for everyone and yet how completely unnatural it feels.Yes. Unnatural. It feels foreign. And yet familiar. What an odd dichotomy.
Here are some quotes that I identify with and appreciate. I am thankful for this book, and thankful for the Word of God which Mrs. Guthrie weaves throughout. I am thankful that the Lord continues to speak to me and open Himself to me during my grief. He is faithful, and He is good, and He is my Father.

On Death:
~…[D]eath is not the end of the story.
~Death will be defeated.
~Birthdays. Deathdays. I feel like they are always coming at me.
When we are in the fold of God, death is impotent to destroy us. It is depleted of its evil power. The valley where we encounter death is transformed into a place of peaceful comfort; it is in this valley that we are more aware of God’s presence than every before.
~[Of her daughter]: I would like to see her grow. I would like to know her as an adult. But I also know that this life is filled with pain. And I don’t think it is a tragedy that she will have the opportunity to be spared from evil, from the pain of this life, and be in the presence of God. This is what I believe. It is not necessarily how I feel.

On Life:
~I craved the comfort of knowing that… life continues beyond the grave in the presence of God. This confidence was and is the only comfort when you stand at the grave.
~We can turn from God in the lowest moments of life, allowing our offense to alienate us from God until we are out in the cold, devoid of comfort and hope. Or we can turn toward Him, cry out to Him, and place our faith in Him as our sole source for life.
~It takes a step of faith to believe God will supply satisfying life now and when we die.
~I understand the pull and pleasure of drawing up the covers in an endeavor to sleep away the pain that comes with loss.
~…[T]his life is not all there is! This life is just a rehearsal for our real life, our forever life in the presence of God.
~Every life is valuable because God Himself gives life and breath to everything. [Acts 17:24-25, 27-28]

On the “Whys of Suffering:
~So where is God in our suffering? He is redeeming it.
~[E]xperiencing suffering can build up your faith and force you to go deeper with God, or it can crush your spirit and squash your soul’s longing for God.

On 2 Corinthians 12:7-9:
~There was a time in my life when I read God’s response to Paul in this passage as a dismissive pat on the head. Perhaps because I’d so cheapened the significance of God’s grace. Perhaps because I’d heard similar words spoken in a tone that seemed to dismiss the suffering this promise is applied to. Or perhaps I had not believed that God’s grace is up to the task of addressing some of the suffering I see around me.
~It [God’s grace] will be delivered to you in the form and quantity and timing your circumstances require.
~The grace God provides to you is enough for whatever suffering He allows into your life, not just enough to survive but enough to equip you.

On the Holy Spirit/Comforter:
~Significant suffering leaves us with significant questions.
~We want the truth, not just cliches or religious-sounding pat answers. This is when we need the Holy Spirit like no other time, when we’re facing an uncertain future and trying to make sense of it all.
~God reveals Himself to those who earnestly seek Him.
~I think we expressed trust more out of a desire to trust than a confession of the reality in our souls.
~[W]e felt so guilty that so many people were praying for us so diligently when we were so prayerless–partly because it was so difficult to know how to pray.
~When we are weak-willed and weak-minded, when distress has consumed our energy and emotions, the Holy Spirit helps us.
~And when your life if bumped by difficulty, what will come spilling out will be what fills you–an abundance of the Holy Spirit.

Monday January 25, 2010

We have had an incredibly warm winter. In fact,  it feels like we went straight from summer to spring this year, since we were jipped on autumn too. Hm, strange.
But anyway, we finally got another skiff of snow this morning! It was probably only our third or fourth snow this season, and it’s already melting completely away at not even 1pm. So much for that. Will we ever get a sledding day this year?? Hmm, maybe not.
But it was lovely. I miss snow. I wish we’d get more of it. Although my darling husband doesn’t really miss the shoveling escapades we endured last year, lol.

I’ve been waiting for some more snowfall here so I could share these inspired words with you, again from N.D. Wilson’s “Tilt-A-Whirl“:

Snow is so overused. One sentimental, overly structured ice flake might have some value. But God never seems capable of moderation or of understanding the basic concepts behind supply and demand. He constantly devalues His own products. (p 9)

 

We all know that each flake is different and unique, because we’ve all been to preschool. Each one is beautiful, yeah, yeah, we know that too. But how can we possibly value these things when their Maker slings them around like so much trash? Actually, I’ve never seen anyone sling this much trash. Doesn’t He realize that people will curse this tomorrow? That they’ll shovel it and salt it and SUV it into gray slop? Does He know that my daughters are going to roll in it, melting thousands of flakes with their flushed cheeks and tens of thousands with their tongues?

Dogs are going to pee on this stuff in the morning. (p 11)

Tuesday January 19, 2010

You know how I have made the habit of going through books I’ve enjoyed reading, and typing up some of my favorite quotes and passages from their pages? Well, I’ve decided it’s about time to start sharing another book with you. It will come in spurts, as I feel like sharing pertinent passages.
So here are some words to ponder (emphases mine) for today

from

Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl
by N.D. Wilson

 

This world is beautiful but badly broken. St. Paul said that it groans, but I love it even in its groaning… It is full of conflict and darkness like every good story. And like every good story, there will be an ending. I love the world as it is, because I love what it will be. (p 17)


Deaths are as common as births. More common. (p 62)

This is not the best of all possible worlds, but it is the best of all possible ways to the best of all possible worlds—namely, Heaven. (p 80)

To His eyes, you never leave the stage. You do not cease to exist. It is a chapter ending, an act, not the play itself. Look to Him. Walk toward Him. The cocoon is a death, but not a final death. The coffin can be a tragedy, but not for long. There will be butterflies. (p 113)

In the end, when your life is of a different sort, your first flesh will be dust, and of your grief, not one grain of ash will remain. (p 115)

Wednesday December 2, 2009

I casually ordered a book online recently — it was one of those times on amazon.com when I wasn’t quite at the $25 mark, and wanted to reach it in order to have free shipping. Anyway… so I (almost haphazardly) added one more book to my cart before checking out.
It was this book.

The One Year Book of Hope
by Nancy Guthrie

It’s been sitting on my desk for a few days now, and I was considering saving it for January, when I could actually use it as a daily read for 2010; you know, since it’s organized into a “one year” format.
But today I decided that I needed to crack open its cover.
Today I needed to know that hope still exists.
Because some moments, I just don’t see it.

On one of the first pages, there is simply this quote:

Comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it.
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end:
if you look for comfort you will not et either comfort or truth–
only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Then I read the “Acknowledgments” page — that’s when the tears began.
I took off my glasses, wiped my cheeks with my sleeve, took a sip of tea, and turned the page.

Two sentences into the “Introduction,” I lost it again. Something about the phrase “loss that changed everything about your life in an instant” hit me hard. She gets it. The author gets it. It isn’t just one thing in my life. It’s one thing in my life that suddenly, instantaneously changed everything.
She goes on, and another phrase pinpointed reality for me when she mentioned “all the questions that taunt us in the midst of tears and keep us awake in the night.” I’m not sure which is worse — that scenario or the nightmares when I do sleep. But either way, she gets it.

The author shares the story of losing their baby girl due to Zellweger Syndrome. She says, “Though we had shed our share of tears during her life, and while I was hopeful that those tears would lighten my load of grief after her death, it didn’t seem to work that way.” During Peace’s life, I hoped it would work that way too. But nope, it didn’t. She goes on, “It seems to me that most losses aren’t just one loss, but a series of losses. For a while I grieved Hope [her daughter]‘s death. Then I grieved her limited life. Then I grieved our loss of potential.” A series of losses. Oh God, how true.

Later in the “Introduction,” the author explains something her sister-in-law shared with her. When asking how you can get through and deal with the death of such a dearly loved one, her sister-in-law said “‘Manna.’ She explained that just as the children of Israel were dependent on God to provide manna to sustain them every day while they wandered in the wilderness, I had to depend on God to give me the manna I needed every day to sustain me as I grieved my loss… Every day.

Wow.
Stop crying.
Wipe those tears, Melissa, you’ve gotta keep reading.
Look at the next page.

Processing pain and embracing its lessons are daily endeavors. Every day we need a little more light to illumine our darkness.”
Oh praise God, I am not alone.
Manna.

~~~~~~~~~~

First lesson, focusing on Psalm 119:28-30. I weep with grief; encourage me by Your Word…
Good sentences: “When we are hurting, it seems like everyone wants to fix us… Well-meaning friends and family tell us what to do and how to feel, only adding to our confusion.” “Oh, the painful thoughts that go through our heads when the hurt is deep!” “God’s Word speaks the truth we are desperate for, even as we weep with grief.” “Honestly, I resent it when someone seems to pat me on the head with a Bible verse in a way that seems to devalue my genuine hurt and dismiss my deep questions.” “The truth is what we need most when the hurt is the deepest.”
The exercise at the end was reading Psalm 119, and writing down what the psalmist asks God for that I also want to ask of God.

Second lesson, focusing on Psalm 56:8. All my sorrows… All my tears… Each one…
Good sentences: “I used to rarely cry, but now tears are always close to the surface, just waiting to be released. It is as if there is a broken place inside me where tears are stored. Letting them out has been the only way to release the pressure of the pain.” “Some see tears not only as a loss of control but also as a lack of faith. It is as if the physical manifestation of tears gives evidence of a spiritual deficiency–that if our faith was big enough… we simply wouldn’t be this sad.” “It is as if we think our grasp of spiritual realities can erase the hurts of being human.” “God does not discount or dismiss your tears.” “He wipes them away.” (Isaiah 25:8) “And Revelation 21:4 tells us that not only will He wipe away tears, He will remove all of the sorrow that caused them.”
The exercise at the end was reading Psalm 56, and writing a list of what David determined to do despite & through his tears.

~~~~~~~~~~

So that’s my new book.
It’s my new lifeline, I think, really.
I made it through the first two devotional pages/meditations. The pages are already getting dimpled with salty tears, and covered in blue ink from my ready pen.

If you know someone who is grieving — I think I can safely say (although officially only on page 3), that you need to give them this book.
Pray that God would use this book in my life, that He would renew my hope, and that I would have the courage to continue reading.